almost exactly 4 yrs ago vs a few days ago
i know this is probably so dramatic to say but these really do feel like different people... like idk i'm sure for most people it's not that different aside from the hair but i see so many changes and in just 4 years i have been through so much mental-health wise and i have changed so much as a person too. i would never do my makeup like this today because if i'm going to put in the effort to do it i want to wear color because i love color so much and it makes me happy or i like to do something that is dramatic and black and heavy and dark because it's so unlike my normal. and wearing heavy foundation and contour and all that just isn't good for my own self-image. i have no desire to go back to my natural hair color either because again color just makes me so happy and yes i joke about "omg clearly i have mento illnuss look at my hair" but it's actually something i've wanted to do for a while but i've only had the guts to do recently and i'm proud of myself for that. me four years ago was trying so hard to look like every other girl, to make myself look more pretty in the eyes of other people. me today is just trying to make myself look pretty in my own eyes. (and yeah obv beauty is a whole other topic...but it iz what it iz) me 4 years ago would be terrified to look how i look today esp with the hair. she could have never.
again no point to this i just like to get my thots out from time to time and write them down
