HELLO HI! This is my favorite question, and I'm going to hop below a cut because this is going to be a long one!
I love this question because I do consider myself a gamer and gaming is such an important part of my life. I feel shy about it because I'm not that great at gaming, but I'm certainly passionate and have SO many thoughts about it as an art form, as a medium for story-telling, and as a builder of communities. So, thank you so much <3
1.) Horizon Zero Dawn and Horizon Forbidden West
These two are a package deal to me, and it's quite easy to say I'd inject these games into my bloodstream if I could. One of my cousins put it greatly after I told him about my Horizon obsession: "Oh, that makes sense. The game is basically made for you." I'm like if a horse girl never went outside. I have a spear. The world we knew is gone and replaced by nature and wickedly cool machine-animals. AND it has an amazing story AND a compelling, complex cast? I've easily put 1000 hours into this series and will put in 1000 more, crawling around ancient ruins and occasionally doing other girlie things like violent murder (of bandits and machines)!
This series actually helped me realize I'm autistic, because I genuinely had to sit and remind myself that other people don't want to think about, talk about, and play Horizon every waking moment of the day. Like, as an active thought I had to repeat to myself. I actually do remember feeling the shift from hyper-fixation to special interest (which doesn't happen every time but did for this).*
*I'm not professionally diagnosed and I'm not interested in spending the money just to have people validate what I already know, etc. I am diagnosed with ADHD tho I need that for meds)
2.) In Stars and Time
So, the secret to my ranking system is simple: my favorite games are ranked emotionally, and by how much they saved my life. How Horizon saved me is it's own post, but I can simplify ISAT a lot easier.
ISAT is a game about found-family and grief. I am not positive if the developer (who is on tumblr at @insertdisc5 btw! sorry for the tag, I'm not asking explicitly, just wanted to give the credit <3) meant this explicitly, but to me it really reads well as a metaphor for mental illness in general. The first time I played the game I cried—heaving, heavy sobs—because it reached into me and healed me in ways I wasn't expecting. ISAT helped remind me that healing happens in community and healing demands you reach out with your empty hand and say please help me. You do not get through this alone. You are not meant to, either.
(And one day, I'm going to get a tattoo of Loop <3)
3. GRIS
You're going to notice a theme about these games—grief. Hopefully, if you've been following me for a second, this won't be a surprise coming from someone who is going to be doing academic work on grief! Many of these games were instrumental in guiding me towards this career path and GRIS is one of those games. I first played it shortly after it's release and in short: it's stunning. It's emotional. It handles grief and trauma beautifully. The artwork and soundtrack alone are masterpieces and I think everyone should have the chance to experience this game.
4. Spiritfarer
There's a word I grew up with, that I got from my mother who got from her father: verklempt, to be overcome with emotion. That's the first thing that comes to mind when I think about this game—I am verklempt. This is a cozy game about death, where you play as Stella (one of the secret reasons I chose the name), a guide to spirits as they learn reflect on their lives and learn to move on. I also cried to this game. I wish I had more words to describe how this game makes me feel, honestly. <3
5. Wanderstop
I really loved this game for many of the same reasons I liked Spiritfarer and GRIS. I think Wanderstop is a delightful game that wonderfully handles topics like mental illness, burnout, and passion. I hope every one finds a Boris in their life, someone who asks you to stop and slow down for a moment. Breathe. Have a cup of tea. Tomorrow will be tomorrow. Today is for tea.
To wrap up, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS QUESTION! You've made my year <3
