#malaphor

[hasarmsandlegs]

This is a real a shot in the barrel. A fish in the dark

[theyuniversity]

[rainyclouds64]

Slow and steady beats the horse.

Whatever beats your horse.

Lead a horse to fish, you can't make it eat. Teach a horse to fish, you can't make it fish.

Needle in the horse stack.

You can't eat your horse and beat it too.

Don't beat a dead horse in the mouth.

Horses speak louder than words.

Beat 2 horses with 1 stone.

The early horse gets beat.

A bird in the hand is 2 in the horse.

Don't beat your horses before they hatch.

Don't cry over dead horses.

Don't beat a horse by its cover.

You can't teach a dead horse new tricks.

A dead horse never boils.

The dead horse gets the beating.

Don't beat the horse that feeds you.

Strike the horse while it's hot.

[metalichotchoco]

Parallel play and domestic scenery is one of my favorite things to add to a pairing

Doing things together just feels nice you know?

[logandria]

My brother just told me his new laptop “runs like a glove”

…and then, when questioned, explained that, “you know, people compare things to gloves because gloves are… good?”

Yes… gloves good, brother

[gabby-i-guess]

One of my colleagues (who is Brazilian and sometimes has funky English) just invented my new favourite mixed-metaphor/malaphor:

"for the love of me"

Which is "for the life of me"+"for the love of god".

"Can't for the love of me remember where I left it" has such good vibes to it. "No matter how much I love myself, I still can't remember!" is so fucking funny to me

[flarefloofer]

"I've got a pickle to pick with him"

lmao I found that one tumblr post talking about malaphors on pinterest and so offering this one to the world XD

[soap-greml1n]

always remember you can beat a dead horse in water but you can’t remember its name