#maledicmanny

[critflared]

Has Engie/Scout been done yet? I'd like to see some Engie/Scout. Thank you!

quick sneaky kiss on the battlefield!

[presidentbungus]

Hey, Bungus, I love the way you write Spy! So here's a prompt for you:

Spy can use a teleporter, a dispenser, and a sapper. He can cheat death with the Dead Ringer. His trade relies on such technology as cloaking devices and disguise kits. But then ...

ALONG CAME SMART PHONES

hi! I got this ask on march 20th. I’ve had at least 12 other requests sitting in my askbox since march 20th. my priorities are rotting somewhere in the distant kelp forests of the abyssal ocean. whoops!

anyway this sux but I wanted to do one of these before my death in a few thousand years so here you go scout “helps” spy figure out his phone. spy is an old man to the surprise of no one. 614 words. Fhanks

Spy can't fathom for the life of him why Engineer decided portable touchscreens was a good idea. What was wrong with buttons? What was wrong with them. Sleek, readable, functional…

The little text bubble floating on his screen taunts him. It says: Hey spy. Evreything should be self-explanatory, ask scout if you have questions. Txet me back whenever you get it working.

Should be self-explanatory. He clicks on the bubble but nothing happens. He clicks on the buttons on the side and the screen turns off, and then back on, and he watches another few bubbles appear as the object in his hand buzzes:

*Txet

*Txet

*Txet

A little picture appears, of a round yellow face that seems to be crying.

Spy looks around, at the rest of his coworkers in the rec room having an absolutely horrible time--save for Scout, who's tapping away like he's been doing this his entire ilfe.

Scout catches his eye. Spy tries to look away before he gets too suspicious, but he's not fast enough. Up he comes. His little touch--screen--thing already has a big crack in the glass, cleaved through one of the corners. "Having a tough one, huh?"

"No." He taps on the screen, fruitlessly. "Yes. It's not my fault this infernal machine is outright refusing to listen to my inputs--"

Scout tugs the device out of his hands, and taps once on the text bubble, and it opens another screen that says Engineer at the top. "Look--" he presses one of the buttons and turns it back on, and a string of curses dies in Spy's throat as he demonstrates--"you just swipe up, there. That's it. You try."

"Swipe." Spy tries, then levels a hard glare at Scout and his stupid little buckteeth. "I think you are missing my point."

"You just, uh, tapped the middle of the screen."

"I don't comprehend the motion you are making with your hand, Scout."

Spy makes a pointer finger--presses it to some imaginary surface, then moves his hand up. "Like that. Try it."

Spy mimics his motion against the screen. The bar goes up--but only a little. Nothing else happens.

"Closer to the, uh, the bottom."

This time, when he swipes it, the bar pushes up--and the screen folds away into a number of squares, labeled with different names. Oh. Alright. "Oh, I did it," and he realizes his tone is close to that of a nine-year-old-child who just tied his shoes for the first time, so he straightens his back a little and clears his throat.

"Well…" Scout frowns for a second, chasing words around his tiny, tiny brain. "Look, these are your, uh, apps."

"Apps."

"Yeah. Your things. Click on one.”

“Things?”

“You heard me. Do the thing.”

“I hope you realize that you are utterly incomprehensible.”

Scout taps on a little image of a camera—which brings up an image of Spy’s face, and it takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize it’s a camera built-in to the screen. Scout clicks the button and a little picture of Spy’s face floats into one of the corners.

“Wait. Don’t do that,” Spy says.

“What?”

“Get rid of it.”

“Okay, geez.” Scout aims the phone at his own face and does a peace sign and takes a picture of himself in one single, undoubtedly practiced motion, and then clicks a button and it opens to an album of pictures and Scout clicks it and—something happens—Spy gets a little lost around here.

“How many buttons are in this thing?”

“Um.” Scout shrugs. “Some?”

“I pray that your inevitable death will be slow and violent.”

Scout just keeps taking more pictures of himself. “Speak for yourself, numbnuts.”

[mickmundy]

I got some BushMed questions for ya, if you're interested in answering with your headcannons.

1. Who was interested in who, first?

2. What's their favorite way to show affection for one another?

3. What's a hobby or pastime that the other absolutely refuses to partake in?

4. When they're falling asleep together, what do they wear?

5. How does each one celebrate the other's birthday?

No pressure on responding, thanks for considering!

OMG OF COURSE!! ^__^ <333 HIII MY FRIEND i am absolutley always down to talk bushmedicine!! HEHE...

1. Who was interested in who, first? okay so this one is actually kind of a tricky answer for me because i think both of them were Mutually interested at around the same time, but it kind of snuck up on them both! in the past i think they'd both be like "oh yeah i'd smash if given the chance"/appreciated each other Aesthetically the whole time, but in terms of like. Romantic Interest...? i think it's hard to say! >w> in my fics i keep it ambiguous because i like to think about them falling in love catching them both by surprise! both of them are fine feeling crushes or sexual feelings but when it comes to facing "genuine romantic feelings" or acknowledging that they're seeking partnership... well... that's a big deal for both of them!!

2. What's their favorite way to show affection for one another? OHHH fun one!! i think both of them are really handsy! medic loooves fawning over sniper in public and in private, and while sniper's a little more discreet in public, he'll eagerly hook his finger in one of the beltloops on medic's trousers or satchels and pull him into his lap, or medic will slip his hand into the back pocket of sniper's jeans! hehe.. sniper is very observant too, so he'll always take note of certain things medic likes and surprises him with his favorite snack or food, or he'll be like "have you drank any water today? >_>" and medic will be like "<w< have you?" and they playfully narrow their eyes at each other and medic's like "i'll have some if you have some!" and sniper snorts and is like "fine..." and they pause from their work and enjoy a little snack and some water together... neither of them are great at having super healthy eating habits but they're quick to remind each other and then that solves the problem... hehe... <3

i think they're also good at like. Anticipating when the other needs help even if they don't ask for it... lovingly fishing each other out of their towers or labs at the end of a long day... carrying each other back to sniper's van or medic's room and Gently Asserting that they need rest, it's time to go to bed... and the Exhausted One of them will cling to the other and concede... hehe.. <3

more under the cut!

3. What's a hobby or pastime that the other absolutely refuses to partake in? AKSDFAKDFAKSKDF THIS IS SOOOOO FUNNY OMFGGGG hmm. that's really hard to say because both of them love getting gross and getting their hands dirty! if you feel like being humorous/ironic, i think medic would be like HOO! NO THANK YOU! to sniper wrestling crocs (he loves to watch though... >w> hee hee!), and then sniper would be like ".... i'll pass, thanks!" about injecting wild animals with other wild animals genes or things like that.. and both of them look at each other and are like "what! it's not THAT big of a deal! >_<" (<- both are Very Zany/High Risk Hobbies) ASDFKASDKF

4. When they're falling asleep together, what do they wear? i am a staunch believer that sniper sleeps naked... so nothing! hehe... medic i think sleeps in underwear and a tank top, or if they've just had sex (or just want to be as Physically Close As Possible), he'll fall asleep naked too! sniper runs hot and medic runs a bit colder, so they even each other out temperature wise... sniper doesn't like things clinging to him in his sleep so he hates wearing pajamas. the only thing that he wants clinging to him in his sleep is medic! >:) medic likes sleeping on his back, so sniper likes to rest his face on medic's chest and always Instantly drifts off.. he's a big drooler too! but medic thinks that's sooo cute... hehe...

5. How does each one celebrate the other's birthday? OMG... this is so cute... well i think sniper isn't a huge fan of like. "big celebrations", and he doesn't like being the center of attention! but medic wants to make a big deal out of how glad he is that sniper's alive and here with him, but how does one do that without making a big grand spectacle? :( hmm...! i wrote a one-shot about it but i think medic surprisingly gets really in his own head about gift-giving and showing others he loves them. he has a lot of love for sniper, but how can he show it in a way that makes that clear?! aggh!! hoo, what a predicament! thankfully for him, he does a wonderful job! a simple, quiet celebration, just the two of them in sniper's van, or taking him to a secluded spot for some fishing or other activity he knows sniper loves... and medic loves celebrating like this too... this just means he gets sniper all to himself!! >:) and then they meet up with the other mercs later that night for some drinks and games at the bar! but medic makes Sure nobody puts sniper on the spot... hehehe!

sniper on the other hand is actually (surprisingly?) really good at gauging/planning celebrations and gift-giving! very thoughtful, observant... knows what medic wants without medic even having to ask for it! medic likes big parties so sniper plans him one and invites the other mercs and it's a huge success! sniper watching with a loving smile on his face as medic celebrates with his friends and keeps mostly to the background, making sure things go off without a hitch! sniper's cutting the cake and everyone's ready to toast and the mercs are like SPEECH SPEECH SPEECH!!! and medic Of Course never hesitates to be the center of attention and is like "HEE HEE i wanted to thank everyone for such a lovely birthday! but, most importantly, i'd like to thank my wonderful handsome krokodil delightful thoughtful spatzchen for such a grand celebration!! ^v^"

and all of the mercs Smile Knowingly and Turn Their Full Attention to sniper (trying to embarrass him) who is keeping his eyes trained on the knife as he's cutting pieces of the cake SO methodically and his face is SO red and medic scoops sniper up and is like "ohhh, my heart, you make me feel celebrated ALL YEAR AROUND!!" and gives him a biiiiig SMMMWAK on the lips and sniper's like Heart Eyes... smiles Dumbly and giggles and is like "eheh.,., 'course. love you, dovey." and the mercs are like AGUAGUAAEHEHEE (teasing sniper and praising both of them) and while the mercs talk amongst themselves and eat... medic pulls sniper into his lap and they share a slice of cake and medic gives sniper a soft kiss on the lips and is like Lovingly like "thank you <3" because he knows this must have been really hard for sniper to do! and sniper grins and licks his lips (they taste like frosting and medic hehe) and is like "no worries, plover-darling <3" and medic gives him a big cheeky smile and giggles and gives sniper a Big Squeeze!

AAGUHGAAAAA THANK YOUUUUU ;__; THESE WERE LITERALLY SOOO FUN TO ANSWER ^u^ HHHUHU!!!

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

IT'S THEIR DAY!!!

[pregnantsecondo]

Constantly refreshing my Tumblr to see you and @toyfriskman arguing over your furry children

I'll accept his money and I'll give him visitation rights, nothing is going to stop me from seeing my daughters. I'll take him to court if I have to.

[just-mebs]

I'm looking for new song recommendations so...

Send me songs in my ask box and I'll rate them using this. Made with the help of @maledicmanny 💕

[pyrosuggests]

Hi, Pyro! I send you a hug, a brightly colored lollipop, and a question -

What songs do you consider an absolute must for a rocking party?

Aw, thank you !! And some of my favorite absolute Party Rockers™ are Sweet Caroline and Down Under by Men at Work !!!

[pregnantsecondo]

As someone who thinks Spy and Heavy would get along extremely well, I'd love to hear more about your ship ideas

YAY!!!!

OKOK SO!!!

Spy's a stuck up bitch and i mean that in a good way. But also, that makes him kind of narrow minded. He sees Heavy, who is large and strong and quiet, and he think's that he must be a dumb brute. But one day, he catches heavy and engineer engaging in conversation, particularly about the mechanics of guns. Now Spy KNOWS heavy likes guns, but he didnt quite know that he knew how they worked, or that he was interested.

From then on, spy asks more questions about what Heavy likes (what he likes to read, what music he likes, if he has any particular foods). Some of heavy's likes are rudimentary (heavy might like simple sounding music) but when he explains why he likes it, he goes into such detail that amazes Spy, because it's "surprisingly" intelligent.

And on heavy's side of things, he finds Spy surprisingly kind. It's usually in smaller gestures that Spy tries to keep hidden, but Heavy is very perceptive! I think Heavy would for sure have an issue with Spy abandoning Scout, Heavy takes fatherhood very seriously, but he's the kind of guy who will first encourage spy to make himself better, rather than leave him.