#mandated edict

[adeptus-arbites-official]

Happy April fools!! We replaced a random amount of your bullets and artillery shells with exact replicas that shoot confetti instead.

Sincerely, The Harlequins :)

CHARGE: Interfering with Adeptus Arbites operations and being Xenos scum. MANDATED EDICT: Summary execution.

<This communication has been reported to the Ordo Xenos>

[adeptus-arbites-official]

*picks up cyberhound and starts running*

MY DOG NOW

*cyber-mastiff activates “remote detonation”, releasing an electric charge that knocks you unconscious*

CHARGE: Attempting to steal Adeptus Arbites property.

MANDATED EDICT: Summary execution.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

its me lord marshal corporal general seargent major private arbites lord of marshall arbites by order of the lex you are hereby sentenced to ten million years in the flesh pit where they make you shit your pants forever. xoxo

CHARGE: Impersonation of Arbites Personnel. MANDATED EDICT: Public flogging, flaying, and execution.

Impersonation of arbitrators is not something we take lightly, and the sentence must be severe, public, and painful. You shall serve as an example to the citizens of the Imperium of what happens when you try to impersonate servants of the Lex.

We Determine the Guilty. We Decide the Punishment. This is the Will of the Lex.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

Hey tithe-rat get marbled

*chucks a jar's worth of marbles in his general direction*

CHARGE: Assaulting an officer of the Lex.

MANDATED EDICT: Summary execution!

Did you think the Inquisition would save you, Lex Breaker? They do not tolerate betrayal. This wasn’t an accident, my body-picter recorded all of that.

Let this scum serve as a reminder to the rest of the Lex Breakers aboard the Mourningstar: the Inquisition may offer you protection, but that protection has its limits. This is how it shall be. This is the Will of the Lex.