#xenos inquiries

[adeptus-arbites-official]

SEE 'ERE THO, GIT, IF DA NOBZ AR' GITZ DA BOYZ AIN'T GUNNA LISTEN TO'EM. AND IF DA WARBOSS IS A GIT MAKIN GIT ROOLES, DA NOBZ AIN'T GUNNA MAKE DA BOYZ FOLLOW'EM, SEE HEREZ WE ALL GUNNA KRUMP'EM!! AND IF YOUZ WHO FOLLOW DA 'LECKS IMPEEREEALIS' DON'T DO DA THEN YOUZ A BUNCH OF SCHTOOPID GITZ.

They called me crazy for taking Ork as an elective in the Schola, but here we are.

LISTEN UP, YOO GIT! DA NOBZ GOT DA BIG SHOOTAS, BIGGA DAN DA BOIZ'Z SHOOTAS! WE'Z ALSO GOT DA BIGGEST AND MEANEST AND SHOOTIEST BOSS IN ALL DA GALAXY, AND DAT'Z DA TROOF! DA Lex Imperialis GOT DA BIGGEST AND BESTEST BOYZ AND NOBZ TA MAKE DA BOYZ LISTEN. IF YOU'Z NOT LISSENIN, DEN YOU'Z GETTIN KRUMPED! YOU GET DAT?

If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask. I do not expect a greenskin to understand, but such is the nature of the orks.

<This communication has been reported to the Ordo Xenos>

[adeptus-arbites-official]

SCUSE ME, YOO PLATE FACE GIT. I'UNNO A FING ABOUT DIS 'LEX IMPEEREEALIS' BUT DEY SOUND LIKE A GIT. A BIG STOOPID GIT. IF YOO COULD PASS DA MESSAGHE ON FER ME, DAT WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

The greenskins have found the ask box. Throne have mercy upon us all.

Your opinion has been received and disregarded with extreme prejudice. I do not expect an Ork such as yourself to understand the complexity of the Lex Imperialis and its enforcement, nor why it must exist.

Think of it like being rules and orders given to you by your warboss that have been written down for millennia and the Arbites are the nobz that make sure the boyz follow those rules and orders.

I do not know if that will help, but I doubt it will matter anyways.

<The Ordo Xenos has been informed of this communication.>

[adeptus-arbites-official]

Happy April fools!! We replaced a random amount of your bullets and artillery shells with exact replicas that shoot confetti instead.

Sincerely, The Harlequins :)

CHARGE: Interfering with Adeptus Arbites operations and being Xenos scum. MANDATED EDICT: Summary execution.

<This communication has been reported to the Ordo Xenos>

[adeptus-arbites-official]

The Emperor has risen.

CHARGE: Lying to an Arbitrator and being Xenos scum.

MANDATED EDICT: Summary execution.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

Despite us of the Infinite Empire. The Cyber-Mastiffs are imenssly visualy pleasing. May we have a technomancer observe one for a moment

No.

This message have been reported to the Ordo Xenos of the Holy Orders of the Emperor’s Inquisition.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

Why, hello Arbitrators! Aren't you doing well for yourselves... So established in the Imperium you hold so very dear... I've word from my underlings that there may be some of my kind upon your planet... Do you happen to know if this is true?

There are none of the Xenos known as "Necrons" on Atoma Prime.

The Ordo Xenos has been called.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

There is a tomb world within the sector on the planet to the east of this. You are only being notified because that overlord stole my shoes in the times of flesh during a party and the one who is I hates him. Do what you wish with this information.

The one who is I has no ulterior motives I assure you

Except the ones I do have, but no need to worry about those human

*sigh*

Someone fetch the Ordo Xenos again, we've got Necrons in the asks.

I have also been advised to remind you that the Adeptus Arbites are not concerned with matters such as petty theft. We enforce the Lex Imperialis. Petty theft, not matter how "important" these shoes were to you, is not currently part of the Lex Imperialis.

If you would like to spend the next millennia reading through the many volumes of the Book of Judgement to prove me wrong, go ahead.

Actually... Don't. We can't have Xenos running around in those sacred halls.

[adeptus-arbites-official]

i jus teamed up yer kogboyz an’ whyz do dey keep talk'n ta dere daka, also dey say kreat'n iz a krime which iz ‘da zogin stupidest fing me an’ ‘da Boyz eva heard. Kan yer 'umiez 'plain.

Thank you for your inquiry.

I do not claim to fully understand the practices or actions of the Adeptus Mechanicus, but as the Skitarii have recently joined the Warband, I'm sure I shall be seeing more of them.

For further inquiries, I recommend reaching out to @adeptus-mechanicus-official or their colleague @isuggestthedragon , although I do not expect Xenos to understand.

<This communication has been reported to the Ordo Xenos>