#manicalmadcap

[penguin-positive]

shitty poem to work on later

As I lay in bed trying to sleep

In my head i count the sheep

than i see you standing there

with the wind blowing through your hair

and then you vanish like a ghost

because you're the one i want the most

[penguin-positive]

i really wish i could just melt into a moment or into a person and cease to exist on my own and only continue on in moments like that or in that moment or in that person and with them forever

[penguin-positive]

a point in your life where nothings alright 

all you can do is sleep through the night

and hope when you wake everything's changed

you can get up and take your hopes and reams from where they've hanged

and get back to living the life you put on pause 

when all you could see in yourself was your flaws

and that the world was a bad place

and you;d take your drugs to give chase

to the feelings you once knew

that made you so happy and made you, you

[penguin-positive]

Feelings Lately

Been feeling exceptional manic depressing/ an overall more manic state and it worries me a little i tend to get rather self destructive when ifeel like this but other than the normals things and its caused problems before but idk it feels odd to feel like this again after a while im not sure what to think and if anyones up who wants to chat with me or a starnger (whod be me i ssupose) should message me ... :#

[penguin-positive]

a loss

well loosing someone you weren't extremely close to is odd... I knew them and i talked to them i was friends with them but not as close as i could have been... i talk alot to people about myself leaving at a young but this just seems wrong to me ... they were robbed of their life even if it was a "accident" which makes me more sick than the thought of intent / if it had been self infflicted thats their right i suppose to take their own life but to have their life taken just makes me angry/sad/sick ... i dont share my emotions but this is probably the closest ill come with it to people ... ill miss them and i hope for them that they are in a happier place away from the problems that plagued them in life.. im sorry for the way things turned out for you and I hope that your God my bring you and your family to happiness in these times of sorrow.

[penguin-positive]

scared

i scared myself tonight just now i was listening to requiem of a dream sound track and i guess thats too much for a horror buff while on liquid oxy for my pain yet.... was kinda cool haven't had day feel recently so interesting to feel that again

[penguin-positive]

NEW FLASH!

so i learned today that once my jaw is fully hlear 6 weeks after survery so like feb 9th i'ma have to learn how to do quite a few things over.. ie eat and smile and kiss and stuff so thats close to valentines day who wants to help me learn how to kiss agian open offer for anyone near me ... seriously help me out here .......