#mannerisms.

[lifeforms]

so, my second "cassandra is so much like lana, if lana would date a cop" vid (for season two) is seventeen minutes long. as if it's my fault they went and gave her abusive mentor ex lore, survivor's guilt, a stalker, AND an unhoused autistic friend (who actually has scenes). and she yelled at police even more. and is just so nice to watch, generally. i did try to cut it down. anyway, you know how i said i didn't expect anyone to watch the last one, which was too long at twelve minutes? well, i REALLY don't expect you to watch this one. but if, for whatever reason, you yearn to conceptualize hanging with Lana In Her Forties, here it is 🫶 there's like. background ableism, cops with guns drawn (it does not go further than that), and discussions of abuse and death (nothing detailed). there's a scene with aforementioned stalker but i cut it to where we don't have to deal with him speaking.

[vierandancer]

how  does  your  muse  carry  emotions ? bold  what  applies.  italicize  what  sometimes  applies.

anger.　jaw  clenching.　hands  balling  into  fists.　teeth  grinding.　yelling.　going  nonverbal.　stuttering  speech.　rushed  speech.　slow,  concise  speech.　rambling.　quiet.　arms  crossing.　shaking  head.　tearing  up.　animated.　expressionless.　projects.　internalizes.　vents.　withdraws.　passive  aggressive.　direct.　physical  outbursts  (destroys  items/throws  things/punches  walls).　verbal  outbursts.

joy.　easy  smiles.　fighting  back  grins.　suppressed  laughter.　loud  laughter.　giggles.　chuckling.　smirks.　whole  body  laughs.　covers  mouth  when  laughing  /  giggling.　throws  head  back  when  laughing.　slaps  leg.　touches  people  around  them  when  laughing.　looks  down  when  laughing.　looks  for  eye  contact  when  laughing.　sparkling  eyes.　bubbly  happiness.　quiet,  subtle  happiness.　obnoxious  happiness.　wants  to  spread  joy.　quietly  savors  joy. tears up.

sadness.　crying.　bottling  it  up.　seeks  distractions.　wallows.  eyes  appear  red.　meditates  &  processes.　avoidance.　seeks  out  comfort.　withdraws.　talks  it  out.　internalizes  it.　sad  smiles.　depression  naps.　uses  alcohol.　uses  drugs.　seeks  out  sources  of  joy.　fidgets  with  sentimental  item.　sits  in  silence.　broods.　gets  moody.　wants  someone  to  share  the  misery.　tries  to  hide  negative  emotions.　nurtures  others  to  make  themselves  feel  better.

embarrassment  /  shame.　blushing.　looking  away.　rubbing  at  back  of  head.　covering  face.　laughing  nervously.　laughs  it  off.　overthinks.　lets  it  go.　self  -  depreciating  humor.　deflects.　gets  irritated.　smiles.　withdraws.　crossing  arms  over  stomach.　crossing  arms  over  chest.　hands  in  pockets.　shoulders  sinking.　shrugs.　falling  into  silence  until  comfortable  again.　talking  a  lot  to  compensate.

guilt.　avoiding  eye  contact.　shoulders  sinking  low.　head  hanging  down.　crying.　chest  aches.　lashes  out.　internalizes.　apologizes.　deflects.　communicates.　withdraws.　grand  gestures  for  forgiveness.  accepts  fault  easily.　punishes  themselves.　martyrdom.　victim  complex.　over  -  active  guilt  complex.　healthy  conscience.　internalizes  even  after  forgiveness.　seeking  redemption.　moves  on  easily.　denial.　lack  of  guilt  /  conscience.　sorry  they  got  caught  more  than  caused  harm.　can’t  handle  knowing  they  hurt  others.

fear  /  anxiety.　trembling.　crying.　uses  sarcasm  /  sass  to  cope.　rambles.　goes  silent.　gets  angry.　fidgeting.　clenching  jaw.　picking  at  nails.　chewing  at  lip.　pulling  at  clothes.　adjusting  jewelry  /  clothing.　swallowing  thickly.　eyes  widening.　over  -  reacts.　under  -  reacts.　calm.　logical.　panic.　irrational.　overthinks.  carefully  analyzes.　talks  to  themselves.　breathing  exercises.　fight.　flight.　withdraws.　fawns.

tagged  by : @lykirae [thank you~!]

tagging: anyone who wants to! oh and also @aethericsea - as many/any of your sideblogs :D

[lifeforms]

lana's anger typically is frightening because she represses it so well that it's got a sort of volcanic vibe: most people don't even realize it's there at all (herself included, in many cases) until she's already doing something extreme because the force of it's hit her All At Once.

but if she's hit with something so unexpected that she can't stay composed and has to react to it right then, she just gets mad passive aggressive / sarcastic and it's. so entertaining. to me. i'm not a "torture my character for no reason but fun" kind of guy, but i absolutely am all about "do everything you can to break lana's composure, it's good for her and she won't go to therapy."

[lifeforms]

the thing i was working on: i've been saying for the past few years that kristin's current character reminds me so much of lana (if she were a librarian and/or would even try to date a cop... and/or date at all, really) (the second of which is laughable, but i digress). so here's a 'greatest hits' compilation from the first season of mur/der in a small town (featuring erica duran/ce and vic micha/elis). some of it's kind of self-indulgent; most of it should be obvious enough, if you're ever curious. it's 12 minutes long, before you click it and go, "oh my god, laurel." i'm pedantic. you SHOULD know this by now. there's mentions of cancer and kidnapping (during an actual kidnapping) in there.

[lifeforms]

obviously most of lana's assorted neuroses do very much stem from being Violently Orphaned / how she was raised afterward, but i doubt she was ever markedly outwardly different. like, she would not have been one of those bubbly toddlers who would talk to anybody. she also wouldn't have been shy, she just --- i expect she was born and all the nurses were like, "oh, this one's been here before."

[vierandancer]

Len Pennie is a poet who also teaches a 'Scots Word of the Day' on her Instagram channel, and listening to her daily for YEARS is really what helped me refine Meiko's voice. That's why you can see older drabbles don't have all the words in it that I use today.

She isn't Meiko's voiceclaim, but she is a strong influence to it. I am not Scottish, I just really love the Scots language. I will handwave that I'm writing fantasy pirate language with a Scots inspiration, but only so that I don't obsess over perfection and like, never write as a result.

I highly recommend Len Pennie as a poet; just be aware that she speaks on serious feminist topics, such as abuse survival.

[reidfullyyours]