It has been quite a while since I've written anything regarding Meiko 's mindset shift since ARR so ~~
Meiko was a Viera born among the Rava. Her birth mother was a bit naive, and got too emotionally attached to the Wood Warder she had lain with. Despite hearing there were strangers spotted nearby (likely Garleans), she wanted to introduce their daughter to him when Mei was about two.
Instead, she was captured by slavers. I will keep the gritty details out, but Meiko witnessed her mother suffer various abuse before she was murdered. Though Mei has no conscious memory of that, the trauma still very much imbedded itself into her psyche.
Meiko was then put on the slaver ship among other stolen women, who fortunately didn't make it to their distributors. Her would-be adoptive father Mokoko was among a crew of pirates that raided the ship (not knowing they were slavers initially) and set them free; Mei, the youngest and most helpless at the time, looked up at him with her big baby rabbit eyes and he said oh this one's mine.
But Mokoko didn't really think the plan through. He took Meiko home, introduced her to his wife Kokopi, and after a few weeks shipped off with his crew again. Kokopi also wanted to take Meiko in, but this traumatized little bun was easily frustrated and jumpy and would in a few years' time be as big as her adoptive mother. Kokopi also walks with a cane and had suffered burns all over half her body in her youth from an incident that ended her pirating career prematurely. So, she was very strict with Meiko, to make sure she kept her daughter in line. And when Meiko was big enough (physically), she leaned on Meiko a lot to take care of things around the house that she struggled with.
Kokopi and Mokoko loved their daughter, but they absolutely parentified her -- and even moreso when A'kihiko came into the picture. Despite being a feral child, Hiko managed to pick things much quicker than Mei, like reading and writing.
Mei grew up being overly relied on, but also barked at to speak up or drown (metaphorically). She chose silence more often than not, because it was far better to only get scolded for failure once.
So is it any surprise that Nashmeira, a pushy older woman could recruit Meiko into Troupe Falsiam? She clearly wasn't Kokopi, but there was enough of a pattern that Meiko immediately snapped to obey. It turned out to be a good opportunity, but that doesn't mean it wasn't reinforcing something negative. Even when interacting with Y'shtola initially, Meiko clammed up out of fear of being scolded; functioning alongside most of the Scions (save for Thancred, who was a rogue archetype she was used to finding in La Noscea) gave her the most intense sense of impostor syndrome.
She was there because she wanted to protect her brother, but Hiko was CLEARLY doing well without her. She was surrounded by scholars but she had no depth for most of what they spoke of. Was she not simply an embarrassing, overprotective sibling? Did they all wish she hadn't insisted on joining? Had Minfilia simply caved because they needed more warm bodies to throw at the Empire?
This was not true at all, and she mostly knew that, but the insecurities held strong.
Over time, of course, Meiko would learn that the above wasn't true. Yet still, even after she gained her own Blessing of Light, she felt like an impostor. Like Hydaelyn, who hadn't spoken to her much at all even after regaining the Blessing, was simply marking her to be a back-up in the event Hiko fell in battle. It made her sick to think about it, so while they told the Scions of the situation, she really didn't want it to be made public. She didn't need to disappoint all of Eorzea by just turning out to be some awkward woman who danced half naked and drank too much. She was not a hero.
Thancred, Urianger, Y'shtola. The Twins. Meiko expected herself to be the one taken next, if at all, but it was her brother's body that fell limp at the war table in front of Raubahn. And she saw it: In the other soldiers, in even Raubahn, there was a dread that overcame them when it was announced 'Zenos' had taken to the field. Their Champion was gone. Their morale shattered. She was the only person left, and most of them didn't know her name.
This is the turning point for Meiko. She is terrified, she is mourning whatever happened to her brother, but she cannot give up. She has lost the choice to crumble. It is -- as her Ma had put it in her childhood you speak up or you drown.
She does it. She fights 'Zenos', nearly dies when the Exarch tries to summon her again, and wakes up in the infirmary. And for two weeks, while she heals, it is a hurricane of emotions that lead to a grim acceptance. That she will do anything, become anything to retrieve her brother and the Scions. Her brother was wrongfully called a Weapon of Light at times, but she would be that if it was necessary.
And in a way, in the First, it is.
Meiko does not voice it. She knows better. But she intended to zoom to the First, grab her friends, and return. Time was of the essence, not only for Eorzea fighting the Empire, but because her friends' bodies could not remain alive indefinitely in their state. It was hurting Krile to maintain them. There was urgency.
So to see how all the Scions settled into the First, became part of beloved communities, made a second home here -- it pissed her off at first. It made sense to her -- they were stuck here for years. They adapted. But for Meiko, it was jarring: not a month ago, everything was focused on protecting the Source. Their home was the priority. And now... now everyone found love and community here, and were doing generally well for themselves, while for two weeks she sat in an infirmary silently screaming?
To some degree, Meiko knows it's self-inflicted exile. She knows she is wrong for feeling this way. She works through it, silently, and pushes through. She knows what is expected of her. She knows the personality they all remember.
Still, there is a notable shift. She doesn't drink anymore. She doesn't distract herself with Triple Triad, even when it's somehow present in the First. The quips are few and far between, and she is hell-bent on pushing progress as soon as possible. Not the Meiko who fled to the Saucer between jobs whenever she could, to try and escape the burden of the Plot.
She is more direct with her communication, which is good. But she is also quieter in her own way, as she mulls over what the Lightwardens' aether is doing to her body. She has accepted that she may not return to Eorzea, but as long as her brother and the Scions do, she doesn't care. Eorzea needs its heroes, and she was merely a supporting character in that story (despite the hand she played in MUCH of it, she still downplays her contributions).
By the end of Shadowbringers, of course, this changes. Of course she comes to love the First, the Crystarium and its people, and immediately adopts Ryne the way she did the twins. Of course being the actual protagonist, the Warrior of Darkness whom the people express such adoration for (even when they don't know it's her) helps to heal her. And setting aside her connection with Fray, whom I still headcanon to be able to communicate/motivate/scold her at times and helps build her up there too, Meiko is finally able to latch onto a stronger sense of self.
And it is for this reason that by Endwalker, she is better for it, and able to publicly accept the title of Warrior of Light (although it still makes her cringe). She comes out of Shadowbringers sure of herself as an equal to A'kihiko, who by the way never saw her as anything lesser, and as someone worthy of whatever titles bestowed upon her.
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