[ID: Two drawings of Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, a half elf man with brown skin and auburn hair, and Rainier Michelle, a human woman with tan skin and long platinum blonde hair. In the first image, Fitzroy is leaning forward to receive a kiss on the cheek from Rainier. She is wearing a long black dress with a sparkly sheer top, and a black, wide brimmed hat with a large lavender flower. Sir fitzroy is wearing burgundy and umber period clothing, reminiscent of the 1600th century. In the second image, Fitzroy is leaning forward to kiss Rainerâs hand. Rainier wears a black gown with a deep v neck and puffy sleeves, and a black witch hat with red flowers. Sir Fitzroy wears a black, caped outfit, which is accented with maroon and burgundy. End ID]
Rainer is moronsexual, explains her attraction to Fitz. He 100% asks what animal the Pink Panther is.
rainer: iâm proud to identify as morosexual. iâm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. a guy once asked me what the french word for crepe was and now i dream of kissing him in the moonlight.
fitzroy: hey what kind of animal is gary the gargoyle?
rainer, already taking off her clothes: fitzroy youâre so fucking stupid.
Rainer, having a crush on Fitzroy and being an adorable sweetheart? Fitzroy being awkward and blurting things out around her? In my dnd podcast? Its more likely than you'd think
Now look, I havenât been up to date with TAZ G at all, since like episode 13. So I donât know what relationships are canon, whats not, whatâs been established, etc. However, I was going torhough my drafts, and found an idea for a Fitzrain fanfiction I wanted to write. It would take place during the school break, just after Rainerâs birthday (since thats when I got the idea for the fic hahaha.) Would anyone be interested in reading it, or should I just write it for fun and keep in my documents????
Actual Villian Rainer who understands this is just a job title and doesn't require roleplay: Hahaha! We won't let those virtuous heroes get away with it! *Aside to Fitzroy* Did I do it right Fitz? Is that what you were hoping for?
Sir Fitzroy "Himbo" Maplecourt: (ďžâăŽâ)ďž*.â§
When Fitzroy awoke on Saturday morning to the bright springtime sun, he found himself confronted with a number of peculiarities. The first of which â which, admittedly, was the least curious of the bunch â was that he had a splitting headache.
Fitzroy was known to party occasionally, but he didnât typically drink, and he very rarely got drunk enough to elicit a hangover. He recalled very little of the night prior; only flashing lights, loud music, the smell of perspiration in a dimmed room... but that was all.
Another peculiarity struck him right then as the hazy memory resurfaced: Fitzroy was completely naked. Still covered by heaps of blankets, of course, so he wasnât cold, but his bare skin felt odd against the fabric of the comforter.
The most peculiar of all, however, was that he was definitely not in his own bedroom. Heâd been in this particular bedroom once before, but even if he hadnât, heâd know whose it was virtually instantly. If the pastel clothing with a gothic flair hanging neatly in the closet didnât give it away, the piles of small animal bones lying just underneath certainly would.
As Fitzroy began to put the pieces together in his hungover delirium, he began to feel sick to his stomach. Surely he hadnât...done anything with Rainer Michelle? He didnât even think he liked that stuffâof course, it was possible that all rational thought had left him while he had been intoxicatedâhowever it was almost never something he thought about or considered. Everything about this odd situation seemed to suggest otherwise, though.
Rainer herself wasnât in the bed with him, he quickly noticed. Perhaps she had run to the restroom, or perhaps she had to leave her dorm room for something and didnât want to wake Fitzroy, or perhaps she had simply been so mortified at what sheâd done that sheâd simply run out with the hope that heâd be gone by the time she returned.
No, there were noises coming from elsewhere; she was definitely in her dorm, and she definitely knew that he was, too. For a reason Fitzroy couldnât identify, that made him feel worse.
Fitzroy knew that Rainer had no roommate, and based on prior experience he also knew that she had a meager kitchen between her bedroom and the front door.
He was half-tempted to gather his things and bolt out the door without a word to Rainer at all, but after a moment of contemplation he decided that wouldnât be gentlemanly in the slightest. After sheepishly pulling on his clothes that were scattered all over the floor (there came that regret-induced nausea again), he slowly opened the bedroom door and peeked out into the kitchenette.
Rainer was standing up (something Fitzroy had only seen her do once or twice before), poring over the stove with a spatula in one hand while quietly humming to herself. The room was filled with sweet aromas of cinnamon and coffee, and Fitzroy quickly realized he was starving.
At the sound of the door creaking open, Rainer turned and smiled. âWell good morning, Sir Fancy Pants,â she said with a curtsy. At the sight of her carefree smile, Fitzroy felt a bit better.
âHow do you do, Lady Lich?â he replied, trying to keep his voice steady. Rainer giggled and turned back to the food she was making. âRainer, um...â
âBreakfast is almost ready, why donât you take a seat?â She gestured toward the small table in the corner, which had two mugs of coffee and two place settings already prepared. âI made coffee for you, but I couldnât remember how much sugar you take, so I just left a bowl of sugar cubes out for you.â
âOh, erâthank you.â Fitzroy shuffled over to the table and sat down gingerly, as if he was scared that anything he touched would shatter. As he did so, Rainer shot a spell to his beverage, heating it back up and causing sweet-smelling steam to escape from the mug.
She added the finishing touches to the breakfast she was making while Fitzroy (after adding eight sugar cubes) wordlessly nursed his coffee. âBartholemew,â she said to seemingly nobody, âbe a dear and grab us some plates, please.â
At her command, a tiny rodent-shaped skeleton scattered up the counter, weaseled its way into a cupboard and opened it from the inside, carrying one small plate in each paw. Apparently, they were a lot stronger than they looked.
âThey have names?â Fitzroy asked.
âWell, of course they have names,â Rainer replied, sliding the contents of the pan into both plates. âIt would be rude to just say, âhey youâ.â
âAre any of them named Fitzroy Junior?â
âNo, not yet,â she replied, grinning. âNext one I meet, though. Promise.â She took the plates from the rodent skeleton and brought them to the table, placing one in front of Fitzroy.
âCrĂŞpes!â he exclaimed upon seeing the breakfast that had been placed in front of him.
âWell, what else?â Rainer replied, sitting down across from him. âI was experimenting a little with the flavor. Theyâre cinnamon, chocolate, and pear, which I know sounds weird, but actually makes for a very good combination.â
She was right. They were the best crĂŞpes Fitzroy had ever tasted, or maybe he was just hungry. He couldnât remember what his last meal had been last night, before... well, before everything happened.
âRainer, can I ask you something?â Fitzroy asked, his voice a notch quieter.
âSure.â
âDid we, um...â he swallowed nervously, putting down his fork. Rainer furrowed her eyebrows, concerned. âLast night. Did we, like...do anything? Together?â
She thought it over for a moment. âWell, we both went to that party at Springs Eternalââ
âNo, thatâs not what I mean. Like, did we...uh...sleep...together? Well, obviously, we were in the same bed, so we did sleep together, like, next to each other, but...did we like...â
âDid we hook up, you mean?â Rainer asked. Fitzroy envied the steadiness in her voice.
âYeah,â he said sheepishly.
She smiled and shook her head. âNo, nothing like that.â A wave of relief washed over Fitzroy. âYou did kiss me a few times, which was nice,â she continued, fiddling with her fork as her cheeks turned a bit pink, âbut that was as far as it went. Why, is that...something you want to do?â
âNo!â Fitzroy said, rather more quickly than was probably appropriate.
Rainerâs eyebrows shot up.
âI mean, not with you,â Fitzroy corrected. Rainer crossed her arms and eyed him suspiciously. âNo! Shit, thatâs not what I mean, I...â
He put his head in his hands, hoping that Rainer would somehow read his mind and say something that would fix everything. After a long moment, it was clear that she wasnât going to.
âItâs...â he sighed, looking at Rainer again. âI donât like that stuff. At all. I donât ever want to do it with anyone.âÂ
She looked concerned for a moment, and then Fitzroy saw a wave of understanding cross her face. âOh,â she said with a small smile.Â
âYeah.â
âYou know you could have just told me, right?â Rainer asked.
âYeah, I...I know.â
She took his hand in hers from across the table. âIâm sorry that I made you feel like you couldnât.â
âIt wasnât your fault,â he replied, running his thumb over hers absentmindedly, which made Rainer smile. âI was just worried youâd think Iâm weird or...broken, or something.â
âFitzroy Maplecourt,â Rainer said. âI know youâre weird. Why do you think I like you so much?â
He chuckled at that.
âBut donât worry, Lord Fancy Lad. Youâre not weird because of what you like or donât like. And youâre sure as hell not broken.â
They held hands across the table for a moment, drinking in the silence that was filled to the brim with understanding and affection. Fitzroy tried to keep tears of relief and happiness from welling up inside of his ducts, but imagined that he was failing rather miserably.
âHey, why did you bring me back here, anyway?â Fitzroy asked, sniffling a bit.
Rainer laughed. âYou were shitfaced. You kept saying that you didnât want Argo and the Firbolg to see you that way. You threw a hissy fit when I tried to bring you back to your room,â she said. âYouâre kind of a nightmare when youâre drunk.â
âYeah, that sounds like me. Iâm sorry,â he replied sheepishly. âAlso, why was I naked?â
Rainer rolled her eyes. âYou absolutely insisted that you sleep better in the nude.â
âWell...I do.â
âBut on someone elseâs bed?!â Rainer asked, feigning appalment but grinning widely. âYou are impossible. Now, hurry up and eat your breakfast. Itâs getting cold, and I only have so many spell slots.â