#marauders dynamics

[maxdibert]

I've been thinking about how people usually say that the reason Remus never stopped James and Sirius' bullying is because he was scared they would reveal his secret. And it's interesting because the maradeurs' fans use that as an angst thing in fanfiction. But I would like to ask: so they agree that James and Sirius were shitty friends, who would use Remus' secret against him? Or are they saying that Remus believed that, but James and Sirius wouldn't actually do it, because they did care deeply for him as a friend?

Honestly, I believe Sirius would be capable of doing it, if Remus was "getting in the way". I mean, Sirius would talk about how "he wishes it was full moon", because he saw it as just a fun activity, and used Remus to almost kill Severus as a "prank". So I don't think he would be above revealing that Remus is a werewolf.

So when I see someone saying that to defend Remus' actions, I want to ask: "so you agree? That the maradeurs were bad friends who shouldn't be trusted?"

What I believe —and it’s something I’ve said many times before —is that the real friendship in that group was between James and Sirius. They were the ones who shared a deep, genuine bond. Remus wasn’t stupid, he could see that, and he was fully aware that he was the third wheel in that dynamic that he was more of an outsider. And no matter how much James considered him a friend (and I do believe he did), when it came down to choosing between Sirius and Remus, James would always pick Sirius.

As for Sirius, I’ve always felt he was emotionally detached from both Remus and Peter. Sure, they hung out, and having a personal cheerleader like Peter stroking his ego was nice, and using Remus as an excuse to bend the rules or do dangerous stuff probably entertained him, but I think he mostly saw them as tools, not equals. And Remus was smart enough to see that.

He lived in constant fear of being left alone with his condition, of having to face rejection because of the emotional weight he carried as a werewolf. Clearly, his greatest fear was losing his friends, not just because they were his friends, but because they were strong, influential boys behind whom he could hide, a shield from the world. And deep down, he knew his bond with them wasn’t as solid. If he ever stood up to them or snitched, he could lose everything.

And he wasn’t wrong, because let’s not forget that when it really mattered, during the war, they considered him a potential traitor. They didn’t choose him as Secret Keeper for a reason.

So no, that friendship the fandom loves to romanticize so much was, at its core, a farce or at least not as strong or pure as people like to pretend it was.

[maxdibert]

The Maradeurs friendship confuses me a lot, because it's totally messy, toxic and codependent, even more than Severus and Lily's friendship. But I also don't think it was intentional? Like, the narrative still frames them as good and loyal, even though we are only shown the bad parts about how they treated other people, and each other, like crap.

Honestly, they feel like the kind of people who are like "I'd die for the people I love", and think that's enough to absolve them of any guilt. But they can't do the bare minimum of treating their friends well.

But the thing is, they wouldn’t actually die for the people they care about. I mean, I don’t doubt that Sirius would die for James, but James wouldn’t die for Sirius, not even drunk at four in the morning, anyway. Remus wouldn’t die for any of them, like, Remus wouldn’t even die for his own wife, because he literally abandons her while she’s pregnant, come on guys, please. And Peter well, we don’t even need to talk about Peter for obvious reasons. They’re just terrible friends.

Sirius and James loved each other a lot and had that “brothers-in-arms” thing going on, but that’s it, the dynamics with the others are awful. They weren’t real friends. A real friend doesn’t think you could be a traitor just because you’re a werewolf. A real friend doesn’t try to use you as a weapon to kill a fucking classmate. A real friend doesn’t treat you (in Peter’s case) like a personal jester whose only purpose is to cheer them up, as if he were some kind of fanboy, while throwing awful comments at him about how fat he is or whether he wets himself. That’s not friendship, that’s pure bullshit.

[maxdibert]

do you think sirius would hate lily once she started properly dating james?

I think at first he was probably jealous, like the loyal lapdog to his master that he was, maybe even a bit upset that James wasn’t spending as much time with him or paying him as much attention anymore. But over time, I think he accepted that Lily was in it for the long haul, and as a good little lapdog, he came to accept her and understand that she was James’s partner, and therefore someone he needed to appreciate by extension.

That said, I do firmly believe that if James and Lily had broken up, Sirius probably wouldn’t have spoken a word to her again or given her the slightest bit of attention, because, deep down, he didn’t actually value Lily as a person, but rather as James’s girlfriend/partner/wife. And those are two very different things.

[maxdibert]

Do you think Sirius and Lily were ever best friends, like it's often said in some fics or in the fandom?

Well… yes and no. Let me explain:

Sirius was absolutely loyal to James, like a dog is to its master. I mean, James was his point of reference, and I’d even say he was a bit obsessive about him. The thing is, I get the feeling that anything James liked, Sirius liked too, and he never contradicted him. It’s funny because Sirius accuses Severus of being Lucius Malfoy’s lapdog, but Sirius himself was James Potter’s lapdog, so I love that projection of his, because it’s as childish as he is (and I say that with affection, for the record).

But honestly, I think Sirius didn’t really care much about anything or anyone, and if he ever grew fond of someone, it was because James did first. I genuinely believe that if he was ever friends with Remus and Peter, it’s because James liked them first, otherwise he would’ve just ignored them. Similarly, I think Lily was always completely indifferent to him. When James started obsessing over her, the only attention Sirius paid to her was because his friend wanted to date her, end of story. And once they became a couple, she was just “the girlfriend.” I can even imagine him getting a bit jealous that James wasn’t spending as much time with him anymore, and maybe resenting Lily at first. I also think that over time, he learned to make peace with that envy/resentment and understood (on an unconscious level, don’t expect emotional maturity at that depth, please) that the best way to keep the same dynamic with James, or at least something close to it, was to accept Lily and treat her the way he treated James. But I don’t think he ever really saw her as her own person, just as the obsession, then girlfriend, then wife, then mother of James’s child.

Were they close? Of course, they were very close. And Lily probably considered him a very dear friend. But I think all the affection Sirius had for Lily would’ve vanished in a second if James had broken up with her, I believe that too.

It’s not the same with Harry, though. Harry is James’s son and, therefore, part of James. Harry is a part of James—so the affection there is genuine.