WHOM DO YOU LOVE AND WHOM DO YOU NOT LOVE TELL ME
Jonas Kahnwald: 11/10, would hug, would wrap in a blanket, would adopt
Mikkel Nielsen: 11/10, a precious baby skeleton magician child
Michael Kahnwald: a cautious 8/10, I am Suspicious of your choices
Ulrich Nielsen: 4/10, lying fuckboy. makes some very bad decisions with large rocks. receives points only for loving his kids and being smart/motivated enough to Figure Shit Out. kind of handsome (weirdly? sometimes??); receives zero extra points for this due to previously mentioned fuckboy tendencies
Ines Kahnwald: 7/10, Mom Friend. Not a great sharer of information though
Katarina Nielsen: 5/10, do not love but do not hate. seems like a good mom though. was a shitty teenager, still deserves better than fuckboy Ulrich
Hannah Kahnwald: 0.5/10, total nightmare, chaotic evil. receives a single half point only in recognition of her role in creating Jonas
Charlotte Doppler: 9/10, trustworthy, dependable, has odd childhood tendencies re: birds
Elisabeth Doppler: 8/10, fabulous taste in hats, not super smart regarding impromptu forest wanderings and creepy strangers
Peter Doppler: 2/10, your internalized struggle does not excuse your choices
Helge Doppler: 1/10, “they’re so beautiful when they’re dead” Y I K E S. one point for attempt to correct past mistakes
Bartosz Tiedemann: 5/10, Bad Choice Maker, chaotic neutral. excellent haircut and cool name
Regina Tiedemann: 7/10, deserves better
Aleksander Tiedemann: 7/10, a good husband but who are you???????
Magnus and Martha Nielsen: 7/10, dumb kids trying their best
H.G. Tannhaus: 6/10, true neutral??
Noah: 2/10, fucking terrifying. A Problem To All. Receives points only for being an interesting character
Reserving judgement on or indifferent to: Jana Nielsen, Agnes Nielsen, Franziska Doppler, Bernd Doppler, Greta Doppler, Claudia Tiedemann, Egon Tiedemann, Doris Tiedemann, Tronte Nielsen