Chapter 26: Timey Wimey Time for a New Era
“Its not a damned crush. I swear you busybodies have nothing better to fuckin do. Get back to whatever the fuck you were doin!” M exploded, the faintest blush upon his cheeks as he stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Wally shrugged, “Ah he’ll get over it! Its not like its his first.” Daring and Kiros looked at each other with a questioning look, Daring asking, “Dad, has he done this with that other girl Molli?” He thought back for a bit, “My memory that far back is a bit fuzzy still but I think that was pure hook ups to appease her or using her as a vent for frustration. I dont remember him being that tender to anyone really. But then again like I said, my memory.. aint what it used to be.” Kiros hmmed a bit and shrugged, “I think I’ll see what he’s up to, maybe he just needs a bit of a chat and not bullying.”
Daring raised an eyebrow. “Like bro bonding time? You have already known him how long now?” Kiros chuckled, ruffling her bobbed hair, “Just because we’ve been teammates for a couple decades doesnt mean I cant check in on him. He’s usually a loner out of all of us. He probably feels a bit of pressure to get you up to speed on things.” Daring scowled, thinking. “I think you should let him cool off for a bit. I know you have some high security access, you could teach me a few things. Plus he still kinda creeps me out.” Kiros laughed, “Him? Other than the horror show wanna be vibe, he’s a big grumpy softie. Come on, I’ll tell you more while I show you more of the research lab and library. You’ll need to know how to access the good stuff.” They headed out and Wally sighed, scratching his head. “Well.. it sure is more quiet around here.. its like a mini vacation.”
It in fact was not quite like a mini vacation. That night Wally tried cooking a meal for everyone… which turned out completely inedible. And the cabinets above the stove also became a charred disaster. For the entire month, everyone had some sort of take out as the kitchen was slowly repaired like new. Daring was actually learning the ropes and liking it, as the month flew by, once planning a heist of her own and borrowing her mother’s coat and hat. As luck would have it, the TARDIS showed up shortly before and a blonde maned pink earth pony mare stepped out in a bit of a baggy coat one would see from a thrift store, with a mechanical component and an odd looking sonic screwdriver. “Right, hello. I’m the Doctor, I returned with that thing you needed for your portal door.” M, being skeptical, gruffed, “What the fuck happened to the older silver haired gent?” The mare chuckled, “Oh, thats me, new face. I was forced to regenerate but thats no big deal right now. Lets get you up and running finally, yeah?” M crossed his arms after showing her the way again, narrowing his eyes. “Bah.. too cheerful. I was amused by the bickering before.” The mare Doctor shrugs and begins to tinker about the console and installed the component, buzzing her screwdriver here and there. “Yeah well, times change and so do people. I bet you could change too. Always so angry and cold. You should find someone you like and I dunno. Have a date! Or just hang out. Something with someone you dont mind spending time with, doesnt have to be romantic.” M snuffed in silent retort, looking away as she mentions dates and such. “I have no use fer that fuckin stuff.” The Doctor got up from being on her back and under the console, dusting herself off. “Aahh, I see that eye avoidance though. You thought of at least one person you would consider. Obviously you dont have to, I’m not going to force you. You do what you want. You know you best.”
M rolled his eyes and went over to the console to inspect it, “So is this ready to go? We can open portals and not be fuckin flagged or seen? No beacons or flares or anything?” She shook her head, “Completely off the grid! Now when you see Carmen again, tell her that she owes me one. We aren’t even fully yet! She still owes me from stealing Sexy from me twice!” M scoffs, “Eehh you know Red, she keeps her word, but she is a bit of a weird monster fucker.. I suppose Police Boxes fit that category some fuckin how.” Daring walked into the mech lab with an oversized red trenchcoat and hat. “Are you sure I need to wear this? Didnt she have a smaller size?” She sees the Doctor and blinks, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didnt realize I was interrupting something.” The pink mare beamed, “Oh my gosh lookit you! You shrank! No. Not shrank. You’re not Carmen. Who are you?” Daring kept trying to adjust the hat, “I’m her daughter Daring Do. She calls me Adora.” The Doctor beamed more, “Oh that is stonkin!! A family heist then?? Is it your first one? Oh you’ll have fun! Ol Marehem here will keep you safe. I’ve heard a lot about you and your brother. I hope to see him someday! For now, I do have to run. Just call if you need me!” She had looked at her watch and was already half in the TARDIS before Daring got anything out to say.
M snorted a bit, “Liked the previous Doctor better. More realistic and not so… chipper.” Daring pointed to where the TARDIS was already faded away, “Did I just meet the Doctor? She’s kinda all over the place, isn’t she? Is she always that hyper?” M threw up his hands, “I don’t know, they’ve all had their fuckin hyper moments. Especially when they are fuckin easily excitable. Anyway, lets get this fuckin thing started up. You said you want a heist on a different Earth if we got this running before yer mom got back. Sooo.. Where the fuck you wanna go?” He took a closer look at her and gave a face. “What? Do I disgust you or something?” She huffed. He reached into the shadow and pulled out a fake horn and a brown wig. He fixed the horn to the hat and plopped the wig onto her head. “She hasnt been seen since the accident, so no one knows her change in appearance. She is fuckin self conscious of what the media says, so put this on and from security cameras, you should look spot on.” Daring scowled as she adjusted the wig, “Why would it matter if we’re going to another world? And where did you even get this stuff?” M planted the hat haphazardly onto her head, “Hey, I dont ask where you get your fucking audacity but here we are.. just fuckin use it, and we’ll go from there. Its all her fuckin image reputation shit.. Alright, call yer troops and let’s head out fer yer first heist.”
Daring smirked, “Right.. um.. Oh one more thing to bring.” She had him follow her to the loot storage and pulled out a rolled up tapestry from a museum from their world’s Italy. “I saw that Mom already nicked this one. What if I play a prank she may appreciate? What if we switch the tapestries? Another Earth is sure to have one like this as well? Right?” M took a look at the label Carmen had made for it and he chuckled. “Ya know, I think that would be rather hilarious. Probably against her wishes of letting this go to the hands of someone she doesnt know but, then again, we are fuckin providing her with a technically more rare one. I’ll run it through 079 and see if there is another one of these elsewhere in the fuckin multiverse.” He scanned the tag from his phone and shortly 079 brought up a result and even more information.
“So the tapestry you were seeking is from Earth N37FL1X, it was in display in Italy just a while ago. Mostly populated by animated beings called humans. Very basic species, not very colorful except in culture and language.. and there are reports of what looks to be a young Carmen in her 20’s running about, stealing from an Organization called VILE, oh what a coinkidink and is pursued by a policing agency called ACME. Sounds familiar. Currently if you leave now, I can set the date to when they are in pursuit in a place called Moscow, leaving this Italian museum open for your little field trip.” Daring smiled, “Sounds good! Wait.. why am I excited about that?” M puffed on his cigarette and grins, patting her head, smooshing the hat a little. “Because you just made a basic plan of action and its working in yer favor. Yer mom gets the same way, must run in the family. Now, next thing to do check what kind of other security is involved. Just because this ACME group is preoccupied, doesnt mean the rest of the world is unguarded. 079, can you get the layout deets fer that fuckin museum? A simple fuckin sneak and steal should be an easy first heist.”
Later that night, Blendin came in exhausted and covered in glitter. “Ugh.. I am never doing that again..” He paused as he closed the door, “Hello? Anybody here?” The house seemed very quiet. Asta and Ninoga were off for their anniversary, while Drake and Vasha were off on their own air pirate adventures, Molli was glued to her phone with earphones in, and Wally left a note saying he went shopping for snacks. Blendin had texted Daring and she hadnt responded back yet so he went to a wall display and checked the rosters, finding out Daring, M and Kiros went off world and Skyggja and Sigryn were in their lab. Blendin almost had the whole house to himself. He went to his room and flopped into his computer chair, turning on his gaming tower, and putting headphones on his head as he grabbed a game controller.
He was just about to start a game when a soft set of black pawhands covered his eyes. “Aah! You’re getting fingerprints all over my glasses!!” He exclaimed, hearing laughter from the young sphinx, “Ty! What are you doing here? Arent you in Guardian training?”
The sphinx teen hopped onto Blendin’s bed, his adult coloration coming in finally. He was a little more filled out muscle wise than slender Blendin, since he was part of the wrestling team. His fur becoming a soft midnight with a slightly lighter brown stomach, his humanistic parts were still a honey brown, his human features becoming more of that of a handsome middle eastern man, though still lingering in the awkward teen stage. His black hair was resembling more of black iridescent rooster feathers as was his chest fluff and tail tip. His eyes were a golden honey color, and he was wearing a simple blue tunic and khaki board shorts, sandals on his feetpaws. “I’m done with training, I graduated top of the class and was even given the choice of my Librarian to guard!” Blendin hung the bulky headphones around his neck and turned his chair to look at him, “Thats awesome, dude! Who are you thinking of picking? Is it Emily? Please dont say Emily.. she is sooo insufferable with the fairytale sector.” Ty laughed, shaking his head, “No, I think she’s allergic to cats anyway..” Blendin raised an eyebrow, “You sure she aint just sayin that because she’s a Mouskin?” The feline smirked, “She sneezes all the time around me, I’m not picking her. I was actually wondering.. if perhaps I could pick you.” The young stallion tilted his head curiously, “But I thought Guardians and Librarians often become lovers. At least I think they used to-“ Blendin blinked as Ty suddenly was pressing his lips to his, their first kiss.
After a moment the kiss broke and both boys blushed, Blendin smirking, “Wow. How am I going to refuse after that??” Ty laughed as he leaned on the headrest of the chair, “I was thinking of maybe having a code name Wonderland. You know, Lion and the Unicorn?” Blendin snickered, “Are you calling me fat? That unicorn eats all the sweets while the lion wins the fight.. if anything you have more meat on your bones than I do!” They laughed and Blendin rubs the back of his head a little, “So does this mean that we’re a couple now too?” Ty shrugged. “I was thinking about leaving that part up to you, if you’d have me.” Blendin felt his cheeks blush even brighter than before. “Hells yeah!! I mean..If you want to, I don’t mind..” Ty laughed and ruffled Blendin’s hair, “I wouldn’t be asking you out if I didnt want to!…is.. is that glitter? Why are you covered in glitter?” Blendin gulped and shrugged with a grin, “Fairies?” Ty raised an eyebrow, “As much as that tracks, try again. I know your recent missions were not involving fairies.” Blendin sighed defeatedly, “Okay, fine, but you can’t let anyone else know… its kinda embarrassing.” The Sphinx crossed his arms, “Dude, I’ve seen you after taco tuesday when experimenting with tofu and bean burritos. There ain’t nothing I haven’t seen you do for some fuckin toilet time.”
Soon the date came by that the wives were due to arrive back. A new tapestry hung in a display in the loot storage from Daring’s first heist and switch, the kitchen was restored to near mint condition, and M was relaxing by the pool, a large dunking device sitting next to him. The device’s long arm was dunked in the deep end, the subject tied to was bubbling and thrashing for a good few minutes. The changeling didn’t seem concerned at all for their breathing. He reclined, arms resting behind his head, eyes shut behind some sunglasses, yet he was still dressed in a full black and dark teal suit. He crossed his ankles, his fetlocked hoof tapping the air as if he had a song stuck in his head.
Kalai had wandered down the stairs from the main floor, since the pool was currently residing in the open basement looking out towards the ocean sunset. “I thought you were going to meet us at the entry point, Mr. Tall, Dark and Moody.” She shapeshifted her clothes to be more fitting for the poolside, a golden bikini with a sheer hip wrap. M raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You gave me a date. Not a time. Besides, I got… distracted.” He nodded towards the commotion under the water. He looked at his watch and stood up, “Pardon me a moment..” he grunted, stepping on a pedal that lifted the device’s arm, showing a very disgruntled and soaked red changeling girl, Molli. “Now what have we learned about putting C4 in Red’s room while she was gone??” Molli writhed against the ropes and spit out curses at him, “Fuck you! You’re an asshole! She’s no good for you and you know it!” He stepped off the pedal, careening her back into the water, “Correct observation, wrong fucking lesson..” he chuckled as he resumed his spot on the lounge chair. “Should I even ask?” Kalai chuckled. M lit a fresh cigarette and shrugged, “Neh, just a crazy jealous ex who thinks every woman is out fer my cock, which is fuckin hilarious since I haven’t fucked in like two hundred or so years. Just ain’t interested. And who told her it was only women? There’s other people out there who would love a piece of this.” He gestured to his crotch with a small hip-lift and took a slow draw from his cigarette, Kalai shifting her weight to one hip and curiously tapped her finger to her chin. “Well, is it just women for you?” He let out the smoke in a steady blow, shrugging. “Since forever and fer now, I guess. Never bothered to want to explore it. Broads feel comfortable fer now but what really tickles my fancy is seeing who is stronger. If I can overpower them, I can control them and break them, feed off them. If they are stronger, I respectfully know my place.” Kalai smirks, nudging his legs over so she can sit on the edge of the lounger, receiving an annoyed flash of a sneer before he readjusts himself to let her sit. “So whats the deal with your sister in law then? She’s obviously weaker, or was for as long as you’ve known her, yet you treat her as equal or higher.” M gives off this groan of uncertainty, “Neeehhh its.. complicated. We found common ground and common needs that we could help each other with at the time and it just went from there.”
“She outsmarted you with logic?” Kalai chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “What? Fuck no. It was just a deal to help each other out. And she just kinda grows on yeh. She’s very persuasive.” M grimaced and scoffed at the audacity of the notion that he could be outsmarted by a simple mortal unicorn. “Well then what about me? Where do I stand?” She leans closer to him, batting her eyelashes. He looked over his sunglasses at her, looking her up and down before leaning his head back. “Eh.. hard to say. I recognize your powers differ from mine, yet are extremely similar. Not quite eldritch as I like to describe it. You do surpass me in power levels, but that could be due to age and experience easily.” She cocks her head a bit, with a confused gaze, “Are you calling me old? I’m not even middle aged yet!” M smirks, “I call it how it is. Yer older than me and I’m fuckin old compared to the fuckin morons on this planet. To me, you don’t look a day over 1,000.” She smiles, “So what you’re saying is you like older women.” He sits up and looks over his sunglasses again, “What I’m sayin is that I know my place around you and I’m comfortable with that.”
She smirks with an upward chin tilt and stands up, stepping on the device so the arm lifts Molli out of the water, coughing and sputtering. “And you were comfortable with leaving her underwater for this long?” Kalai sends out her vines and unties Molli and holds her, wrapped up like a python. She brings the little changeling closer to try to soothe her, reaching out a hand to brush Molli’s face. Molli in return hissed and shifting into a viper and bared her venomous fangs and was about to strike Kalai. “You will never sssteal him from me!! I will make sssure you dont sssee another sssunrisse!!! DIE!!”
M ripped off his sunglasses, seeing the fangs and noticing her particular venom, he turned himself into shadow, within what seemed like milliseconds if not instantly, took hold of the captured viper from the vine’s grip and forced her to her true form as he solidified, slamming her against the wall by her throat. His body suddenly bigger, and more monstrous, almost hulking with multiple limbs, most thin and spindly like spider legs, caging around them. Tentacles swarming as three sets of insect wings splayed open, his face almost looking skeletal with multiple glowing eyes, green with shades of red, bared down upon the offending changeling who clutched to the claws holding her throat, her hooves kicking for some footing to stand on, her own segmented eyes filled with absolute terror, he slowly growled at her, threatening sounds of his chittering sounded in the back of his throat.
“DID YOU LEARN NOTHING WHEN I THREW YOU TO THE SIDE CENTURIES AGO? AND YOU DEIGN TO RETURN TO ME AND THREATEN WHAT I HAVE RIGHTFULLY EARNED ALL BECAUSE I DO NOT RETURN YOUR AFFECTIONS? LET THIS MOMENT SET THINGS CRYSTAL CLEAR. IF YOU REMAIN AT THIS DOMAIN, YOU WILL CARE AND PROTECT YOUR TEAMMATES AND HOUSEMATES AS FAMILY. GENUINELY AND WITHOUT SEEKING REWARD. I TIRE OF YOUR GAMES AND HAVE WORN OUT MY HOSPITALITY AND PATIENCE. CHOOSE YOUR PATH TONIGHT. IF YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE THESE GAMES, I WILL DEVOUR YOU COMPLETELY WITH NO REMORSE. YOU WILL BE SPARED WITH NO ILL WILL IF YOU STAY AND CHOOSE TO TRULY BECOME A VILE AGENT OR IF YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU WILL BE SPARED BUT NEVER ALLOWED TO RETURN. MAKE YOUR CHOICE BY DAY BREAK.” Molli nods panickedly as he lets her go, dropping her to the floor and turning back towards Kalai, almost instantly back to his normal form, straightening his tie and putting his sunglasses back on, striding towards her. Molli ran back upstairs into the rest of the house to think about what she needs to do next. Kalai, on the other hand, watched M with his hulking form while biting her knuckle, her legs crossed tight. She stands to meet him as he returned towards her, her tail swishing a bit excitedly. “I apologize that you had to see that. Are you alright? Did she bite you at all?” He took her hand, examining it. Kalai let him hold her hand, a deep blush spread over her face as she looked into his shaded eyes. “N-no. I’m very fine. She didn’t bite me. Even if she did, it wouldnt do anything to me. Hell, I’m still holding and processing your brother’s disease in my own body so I can cure it fully. That is proving difficult but its not impossible.” She shifts the shape of her own body, as if dropping an illusion, her body riddled with small crystals ripping through her flesh before putting the illusion back on. M frowns, shaking his head. “I know you are helping but endangering your own life like this, you’ll run out of time.” Kalai laughed, “No I won’t. I’m practically life and death incarnate. This cannot harm me like it does your brother. So be at ease. I have it handled. Just like how you handled that girl back there.” She looked past him at the partially cratered wall. “That was impressively sexy by the way.” She reached up and fondled his tie within her hands, looking up at him. “Wut, That back there? That’s not supposed to be fuckin sexy..” M gave a questioning look, before she pulled his tie, bringing him closer like a leash. “Shut up and take the compliment.” He growled close with a smirk. “How about you shut up?” She grins, daring him. “How about you make me-Mmmh!~” He didn’t let her finish her challenge before his lips locked with hers, his hands wrapping around her hips. She melted a little as they kissed, her hands on his tie still. She pulled away first, softly giggling. “Touché.” He smirked, “So, did I do it right?”
“You are how old and you forgot how to seduce?”
“You did! You totally forgot how to seduce a woman!”
M huffed. “I can seduce any woman I want!”
Kalai slid her neck to the side, “Then why did you ask?”
“I dunno, Red makes it look easy! And I tried being, I dunno, fuckin coy or something!”
“How can you forget how to seduce?! Its like forgetting how to eat!“
“Look, I don’t think you are aware, but I don’t like actual food.. like ever.”
“I can fuckin absorb emotions, why would I need food?!”
“I don’t need food for fun..”
“And this is why you didn’t get laid for the past 200 years.”
That night, everyone had sat down for a well deserved home cooked meal by Carmen and Lekir, and a few more settings were placed for the new visitors. A Dragon King named Anorath had joined Carmen and Lekir for dinner along with a Lizard woman named Celica and the black and green Vixen Kalai, who had chosen to sit next to M. A fourth individual was also welcomed to the table, sitting by Daring. A tall and slim Kirin teen with some wolf like features, about 18-19 years of age. His long mane was an arctic blue while his fur was white, a single blue curved horn jutted from his forehead as much smaller horns ran along his hairline. He was exceptionally pretty, as Daring couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of a normal Kirin tail, he had a canine one, yet still had the cloven hooves with long blue fetlocks. He smiled and joined in conversation, one would notice his teeth were also canine.
As Carmen stood to help serve the food, she clinked a glass for the undivided attention of the table. “All right, settle down, I know we’ve been gone a long while, longer for us than most you, but I wanted to say how glad we are to be back home! I wanted to thank Anorath, Celica and Kalai for helping us during this whole endeavor! And I wanted to formally introduce a new member to the family. Not new to me and Lekir but new to you all.. ya know.. time travel..” The table chuckled, and she continued, gesturing over to the Kirin teen, “I’d like you all to meet Aciano. He is our son. Lekir and I had a baby apparently. I have also updated my birth control to be strong enough for this demon Jirvi-Ketsru blood I have, since thats why this happened. My old birth control was not strong enough for my body anymore. So yeah. Thats fixed now. Um, so Aciano is going to be staying with us, he wanted to go see this world and see if he is interested in any special talents he may develop here. He’s a bit shy right now but I’m sure he’s grow into his place here with no issues.”
The table erupted into welcomes and laughter, Daring somewhat dropped her shoulders, “He’s my brother?! I got two brothers now? Dammit, I was hoping he wasn’t related!” Kiros nudged her with his elbow, chuckling. “That quick to change crushes?” Daring sputtered and glared at him, “What?! Psh.. No… what? Mm-mm nope. I have no idea what you’re on about.” Carmen smirked, “I just wish Blendin was here to meet you. He’s been rather busy with his Librarian duties. Oh! That reminds me, Adora, theres a magic show in town this weekend. Why not get aquatinted with Ace and show him around, you’ll have a blast! I just know it! Aaand I hear the magician has a new assistant you may like. I hear he’s your age and already has quite a following on Tik-Trot.” Daring blushed bright red and slouched, hiding in her wings. “Mother!! Stop trying to set me up with random boys! I’ll pick someone when I’m ready!” Carmen blinked, thinking she was mistaken, “So sorry, Would you rather me see if theres any girls you may like instead? Just let me know if thats what you prefer..” Daring hid more in her wings, groaning. “No Mom! I like boys but I don’t need any help finding anyone! Fuck!” Carmen raised an eyebrow, “Adora Knapsack Yearling! Language! We have guests!!”
M piped in “Oy, Red, give the kid a fuckin break, yeah? She pulled off a hell of a first heist while you were gone. Give her some slack. And mind you, she was the FIRST VILE agent to go across dimensions for yer precious loot. I’d say she deserves extra dessert or somethin!” Carmen beamed, “Thats absolutely wonderful news! Absolutely she can extra dessert! And You can help her write up the report after dinner.. which by the way, M. Hand me your plate, I’ll put it in the cupboard for you.” M scowled, in mid reach of a plate of stuffed artichoke. “Um why the fuck would I do that? I’m eating right here with the rest of yez.” Carmen smiled wide, motioning to Kalai, “Oh Kalai and I had a nice conversation about dinner and how you dont like food in general. So I’m not going to force you to eat if you don’t like my cooking..” M stood up, insectoid chittering could be heard faintly as his ears pinned back, “What the absolute fuck? I never fuckin said I didnt like your cooking! I just dont eat for fun! Appreciating the hard work of a home cooked meal is a whole ‘nother fuckin thing entirely!”
Carmen slow blinks at him, and gestures for his plate again, “And your appreciation is noted and welcomed, but I won’t force you to eat if you don’t like to eat. Now hand over your plate.” M scowls and keeps his hand on top of his plate. “Fer fuck sake, Red! I want this food! Yeah I can fuckin absorb all yer good feelings and shit but I like having fuckin solid food too even if I don’t need it to survive!”
Kalai smirked at him, “So what you’re saying is that you do like eating food for fun? You keep falling for her logic, I can see why you see her as an equal..” M glowered, “I will find where you fuckin sleep and I wont even bother making it look like an accident..” Kalai just leans towards him with a grin. “Mmm. Kinky.”
