We were looking for you tomorrow. How did you get from Bright River?
I walked, dearest of Marillas. We left our luggage at the station. I got homesick all at once and I wanted to show Katherine all my old haunts.
I love how differently Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert love their adopted kid, Anne Shirley.
Matthew loves to listen to all her ramblings and does nothing but encourage her and gets her a dress with puffed sleeves because he notices she's the only girl in her group of friends without them.
Marilla tells him to stay out of the way of her parenting and is definitely the stricter of the two, but her restraint in praising or encouraging Anne was always with the aim of teaching her moderation and mistakenly thinks that any excess of emotion even for herself (Marilla) wasn't practical or appropriate. But she has a deep love for Anne as well, and it comes out in subtler ways like defending her to Mrs. Lynde at times or saying to Matthew privately that they were going to do whatever it takes to give Anne a good education, and finally towards the end of the book telling Anne frankly that she loved her as if she were her own flesh and blood.
Summary: Having Anne as your foster sister made many problems. But having Gilbert as your best friend made it worse.
As usual, you and Gilbert were walking home while he went on and on about your foster sister. It hurt your heart as he talked about his plans of making Anne agree to let him walk her home.
'What about me?' You thought, though you would never say it out loud.
Gilbert had been head over heels for your sister, and it killed you as his infatuation grew. However, the problem was that Anne never has him any signs that she was interested in his advances. All while you walk side-by-side with him, admiring his beauty as he talks about another girl.
"What if I invite her to join me at the carnival in Charlottetown?" He asks, his eyes hopeful as he glances down at you.
It was a lovely idea, but Anne wasn't entirely a fan of those types of things. She really cared more about studying, which was why to Anne, Gilbert was nothing but competition. However, to you, he was everything.
"Oh! Um, well, I'm not sure if she'd be interested in something like that. Those aren't really her thing, you know. but it is a good thought." You tried to let him down softly. "I mean you could always bring it up in conversation, I guess." You try not to look sad, but it seemed almost impossible as you glanced away sadly. The idea of going to the carnival in Charlottetown has always been one of your dreams. To wear a pretty dress, Gilbert by your side.
Little did you know, Gilbert had noticed as his excitement faded a bit when he noticed you weren't as positive as you normally were. His attention turned towards you as his eyes studied your face for any signs of discomfort or disappointment. As much as you loved being as close as can be with Gilbert, it also came with the fact that he could always tell when something is bothering you.
Raising an eyebrow, he steps in front of you, both of your movements stopping. His eyes catching yours as he asked that one dreadful question. "...Are you ok?"
"What?" Your eyebrows furrow, "Ya, I'm fine. Why?" You become slightly defensive without realizing it.
Narrowing his eyes slightly, arms crossing over his chest. That familiar stubborn look you know oh so well.
You name comes out of his mouth as he starts. "You've been quiet all the way from school. You only say 'um' and 'fine' when you're not find. Did Anne say something? Did someone at school bother you?"
Cursing his observant eyes, you glance away as he takes a step closer, his voice softening.
"Or... is it me?"
Your quick 'no' denies that as you just use the homework excuse. "No, no, of course not. I'm just behind on some of my work and I'm worrying about it."
His body relaxes a bit upon hearing your answer, but there's still aa hint of skepticism in his eyes. His gaze never wavering from your face. "You're worrying about the work?" His voice said with a tinge of disbelief, knowing you well enough to figure that your worry likely run deeper than just work.
His tone softens ever more, genuine concern in his voice. "That's not like you. You usually handle stress pretty well."
"Ya, well, everyone has a breaking point or a soft spot and today just isn't my day, I guess." I smile softly up at him to try and ease his worries.
However, Gilbert doesn't seem completely convinced; a crease forming in his brow as he watches the subtle change in your expression.
"It's not just school, is it?"
He takes another step, closing the distance between you two. His eyes locked intently on you. "I know you. You don't get stressed this easily. Not unless something else is bothering you."
Giggling you speak, "I promise it's just school." as you begin to walk home.
As you start walking, Gilbert follows alongside you, his eyes never leaving your face, still looking for any signs, any hint of doubt. He noticed the nervous giggle and the attempt to make light of the situation. He knows you too well. The concern etched into his features.
"You can try to pretend all you want, but I know you better than that." His voice was gentle yet firm. "So quit it. What are you really worried about, huh?"
"It's just school, Gilbert. God! why do you push!" You yell at him.
His brow furrows even more at the hint of defensiveness in your tone. He can see you closing up on him, and that's the last thing he wants.
"Because I care about you." He snapped back, his frustration evident. His footsteps stop as he turns to you, his gaze intense and serious.
"Dammit!" He curses your name. "You think I can stand seeing you like this and just ignore it? No way! You're clearly upset about something more than just some stupid schoolwork!"
Yelling back at him, "It is! So just drop it!" You roll your eyes and walk away, home, without him by your side.
Gilbert stands for a moment before catching up to you. His concern for you transforming into irritation. His hand reaching for your wrist as he turns you to look at him.
"Stop! Dammit, would you just stop and look at me?" He begs.
"Drop it, Gilbert." You state sternly, pulling your hand away and turning back to walk home.
He lets go but doesn't step back. His chest rising and falling quickly, not from angry, just hurt.
"...Fine." He says quietly, voice low and rough. "I'll drop it."
But then he takes one step closer, close enough that you can see the flicker of something fragile behind his eyes. "Just know this; what it is... I'm not pushing because I enjoy seeing you upset." He swallows hard. "I push because I hate seeing you carry things alone."
Dropping your head, you walk away silently.
"I don't need you to protect me!" His voice carries in the wind. "I just need you to let me in."
