it's funny how you can go from feeling so elated, so filled with joy one moment and the next you feel crushed, alone, and lost.
I am madly in love with my fiance, who lives in Japan with a 14 hour time difference and a job that adds even more friction on our communication. You know, as if living apart wasn't hard enough. Seeing him for two weeks in this new country, that he had already lived in for seven months without me was erie. Seeing things that are so normal to him, knowing that he is really truly living out this once in a lifetime experience. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely spending two weeks with him. To feel his touch again after seven long months, to look into his big brown doe eyes, it was magical. It was the most incredible two weeks of my life. 16 days to be exact. Just being in his near him again, I felt whole and so did he. I longed for mornings with him, waking up late and cooking eggs together. It was beautiful. But now my fantasy is over and we are apart again, for nine months.
On that note, it really did not feel like a fantasy. It felt like home, because he is my home. Being on that base in Japan, exploring the surrounding cities with the most handsome man, I knew that was where I was supposed to be. Being away from him is like a dream, or more like a nightmare. That is what feels unreal. Josh is what feels real. Our love is real.
Now, instead of seven months apart, it is going to be at least nine months. We will (once again) be missing my birthday, another valentines day, and our five year anniversary. Within these nine months, I know we are going to face even harder struggles. This semester is going to rough, I'm going to be living on my own for the first time, without a roommate in a town I've never even visited for an internship over summer. Plus, he is deploying. But the worst part of all, is knowing that even after these nine months, we still won't be done with long distance. He will still be living in Japan and I will still be living in Virginia.
To say our love has been tested would be an understatement. We have faced a lot of hurt together. It feels like we are constantly on an uphill battle. The hill is steep and it's storming as we climb. However, never once have I, or he, considered giving up. That's the best part of it all. I love him unconditionally and I know he does as well. I trust him with my life and I will wait forever for him because I know no matter what, we will always find our way to each other.
So, to sum my rant up. True love exists and I believe we will have our happy ending. Now, life is not like all the fairy tales but that doesn't mean there is no such thing as a soul mate.