The Comfort of Light
caretaker!Markus x chronically ill reader
fluff, hurt comfort, protective Markus, mentions of depression
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Your eyes fluttered open to the warm, intrusive sunlight as your android caretaker drew the curtains. His rigid form traveled to the dresser, where he picked a suitable outfit for the outside temperature. You tried to sit up, and his sharp eyes immediately darted to your fatigued body as a silent warning.
"Don't try to sit up, y/n," he told you. "I'll assist you in one moment." He looked down at the outfit in his hands and held up the items, asking, "Are these to your liking? It's fifty-six degrees outside, but the humidity and sunlight make it feel more like sixty-four. I can find something different if you'd like."
You shook your head and said, "No, it's okay."
He nodded, stepping over to your bed and setting the neatly folded clothes on the edge. Then, he placed his hands on either side of your torso beneath your arms to help you up. Once you were situated, he reached for one of the various bottles of medication you were prescribed.
"Two of these big ones," he murmured, placing them in your hand and giving you a glass of water. "One of these tiny ones... and one of these medium-sized ones."
After you reluctantly took all of your medication, you attempted to slide your legs off the side of the bed, but of course, he stopped you, making sure to gently adjust you himself.
"Be careful now. How are you feeling? Are you still aching?" He knelt before you, gripping your calves and giving them a little squeeze.
"A little. Mostly really tired."
The new medication you started the day prior really threw you off balance, but Markus was always there to catch you because you were his to care for. All his.
Markus hummed thoughtfully, then rose to his feet and nodded. "I see. We will minimize the physical activity as much as possible, then. For now, let's get you dressed."
You straightened up and lifted your arms, allowing him to slip your shirt off. Then, he removed your pants and fully redressed you. To ensure your comfort, he also made sure to cover your feet with the fluffiest socks you had. When he was satisfied with his work, he gripped both your hands tightly and helped you up.
You stumbled a bit, but he wrapped an arm around you and cooed, "There we go. I have you. Now, let's get you to the bathroom." When you arrived in the next room, he made sure to shower you with praise, still keeping a supportive hand on your back. "Do you need any more help?" he asked, helping you to lean against the counter.
When you shook your head, he let go of you and respectfully gave you your space, making sure to remain but a few steps away from the bathroom in case anything went awry.
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Your transition to the hall went relatively smoothly, and as Markus helped you through the house and to the back door, he kept you in the dark, never once telling you why he was taking you outside.
You winced with every step and whined, a bit irritated, "Why won't you tell me? What is it?"
"Well, you'll see," he replied, his tone as calm as ever.
"Please just tell me. I don't like it when you keep me waiting," you pressed a bit more. "If you don't tell me, I'll stay inside all day."
Markus rolled his eyes and adjusted his grip on you. "Oh, don't be like that," he said. "You'll like it. Just trust me."
Trusting his judgment, you held onto him tighter, allowing him to guide you to the door. The moment you stepped outside, the sunlight cradled your figure, feeling almost like a warm embrace. You hadn't been outside much since your condition worsened, and the doctors recommended limited movement. Being cooped up inside certainly took a toll on your psyche, and Markus noticed. It's precisely why he led you across the path and to the garden where the small table and chairs sat. Tall wildflowers acted as a divider between the sanctuary and the house, and when you stepped near, you noticed the breakfast Markus had dutifully prepared just for you.
Seeing how deliberately he arranged everything nearly made you shed a tear, but he comfortingly rubbed your lower back and pulled out a chair for you. He took his place across from you and scanned your expression, noting how your face contorted with emotions of all kinds.
Unsure of whether or not you were happy, he asked, "Is it a nice surprise?
You sniffled and nodded eagerly, wiping the tears from your eyes. "It's wonderful," you assured him. "I'm so grateful for you."
Not knowing how to react, he just smiled and gestured to your food. "Eat up. Your body needs strength."
Not wishing to seem ungrateful, you reached for the things that immediately caught your eye and began eating, even if you didn't feel hungry. Pleased, Markus leaned back and averted his gaze, admiring the scenery.
You managed to take only one bite before losing interest and feeling inexplicably sad. Finally deciding to speak up, you said, "Markus, I feel horrible."
"Why? What's wrong? Are you hurting?" he wondered, resting his elbows on the table and attentively leaning in.
"I've felt so depressed ever since my condition worsened."
He nodded, his expression displaying great concern.
"I never leave the house, and I just need some fresh air, and I want to get away from here. I feel like I'm going to die every time I'm alone. I feel like I'll spiral without you around... and I won't be able to come back."
Markus froze, taking in the implication of your words, and he carefully spoke up. "We've already taken the first steps, y/n. I've sensed it for months, but the doctor's words concerned me. I didn't wish to cause your body any more pain than necessary, so I kept you inside. But I broke my promise, and I brought you out here today."
You bowed your head, fiddling with the fabric of your pants, and Markus observed you for a moment, finding the right words to continue.
"We are only just beginning the path to recovery. The first step is acknowledgment, which you have done... and I am proud of you. So, now, I'll do my part to enrich you so you're not staring at the same wall all day. But we need to address your feelings completely." He paused, sliding a hand across the table to offer you a comforting touch. You accepted it and placed your hand in his, feeling him swipe his thumb across your knuckles. "You mentioned that you feel like you will spiral when I'm not around, and you're afraid that you 'won't be able to come back.' That is a very dangerous feeling, especially in this state. May I suggest talking to a professional?"
Your eyes locked on the way he caressed your hand, but you hesitated, uncertain of where it would lead you.
"No." He corrected himself. "It's not a suggestion. We will find somebody for you to talk to."
Feeling a bit of relief, you relaxed, and he moved his chair closer to yours so that he was beside you. From there, he asked, "Would you like a hug?"
You immediately accepted his offer and snuggled against his chest, making yourself as small as possible. Markus wrapped one arm around your shoulders and the other around the middle of your back, making sure to gently caress you with his thumbs. His body was remarkably warm, and you fit against his broad frame perfectly.
"I care for you," he whispered. "I care for you a lot, and I don't wish to see you suffer. We will get you through this, and you can always fall back on me. Every time you fall, I will be here to pick you up, and we will continue on. You're strong."
You felt your emotions overwhelm you again, so you clung to him by the fabric of his shirt and let your tears flow freely. In his arms, you were safe, you were free of judgment, you were warm, you were simply you.
"You are so strong. But it's okay to let go of that front every once in a while. What's life if you can't feel pain, fear, or hopefulness, or joy? It's nothing. It's shallow and, well, boring, to put it simply. Sadness is a part of life, but so is happiness, so there's always something for you to look forward to. But for now, allow yourself to be weak. Allow yourself to fall apart, because I will be here to put you back together," he whispered, pressing a firm kiss to the top of your head.
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