The Financial Page: The Tale of Marky Z and the Major Tax-Deductible Donation
Look, we all love getting angry at Zucky. He represents the locus of so many anger-mongering things: wealth, youth, the nightmare acid trip that we call social media, a spergy personality. He brings out the evil that we each carry within ourselves as quickly as any Kardashian or GOP candidate. I know. BUT…
Guys, we have to kind of be nice when he gives away a ton of money. Is it right that the wealthy get to choose how their would-have-been-tax-dollars get spent, while we poor suckers are hunted down like dogs by the IRS so we can be forced to pay for corrupt politicians and dangerous schools? Maybe not. But this holiday season, let’s look on the bright side and practice gratitude, feel me? He’s pulling a Billy Gates and paying for, like, nets and stuff, or medicine, or getting Internet for everyone (though we scoff at this, we all wish for it desperately). Should that shit be our fucking lazy government’s job? Probably! But nobody else is paying for that shit because too many lobbyists are taking them on golf trips. So poor Zucks has to foot the bill – I mean, he doesn’t have to, of course. Would you rather he buy a bunch of boats? Or pay thousands of women to let him paint their toenails? (I can only assume that’s what he’s into.)
All I’m saying is, let’s choose to be proud of our nation’s billionaires when they do a good job, ok? It’s not Mark’s fault that this is the way things are.
And wow, James Surowiecki suggests that if we tax billionaires too much, a lot of these great social and medical programs will just get totally underfunded because the billionaires won’t be able to afford them anymore, and our good old boys in congress will probably mess them up anyway.
Finally, check out this sweet pic of Santa Claus “evolving” into a Zucky-esque young tech hoodie guy!