#marlene angst

[an-anonimous-writer]

''TRUTH OR DARE?''

credits to the GIF creator and owner

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader and Platonic! Marlene x Fem!Reader

Summary: Marlene Mckinnon, your best friend of years invites you to a drinking night with the Marauders and half of Gryffindor’s Seventh Years. Your crush Remus is there, would heartbreaks unfold when Sirius asks him about the person that he likes?

Warnings: angst, language, underage drinking, insecure reader, unrequited love, Marlene being a bad friend (although I think she would be the greatest one), James being an idiot, the Marauders being a bit of assholes + my terrible English (once more I apologize beforehand for any errors)

A/N: hello, how are y’all? long time no see. i’ve been stuck on a writers block and it had all summed up to finishing my last year of high school, the summer after that and starting uni (which i’m very happy with) and so i had this idea stuck in my head for a while, i haven’t proofread so i don’t know the result of it, but as you know i’m a sucker for angst so, here it is ANGST. hope you enjoyed it, i’d love some feedback and corrections (if you had any). enjoy!! :D

remus lupin masterlist

marlene mckinnon masterlist

What could possibly go wrong with a bit of veritaserum, a few shots of firewhiskey and a truth or dare game? Everything and nothing at the same time, it is like flipping coin you can bet and win it all, however, at the same time there is uncertainty.

The Marauders were in the Gryffindor common room, you weren’t a part of their group, but your friend Marlene asked you to come with her, Lily and Dorcas to this ‘‘getting drunk because we don’t know what else to do on a Saturday night, although we would prefer to be partying’’. Marlene told you it was going to be a chill Saturday night, but half of Gryffindor’s Seventh Years were there too.

Marlene had always been your closest friend, she was your neighbour and she was rather an extrovert kid so you were quick to be friends. Since you were eight, you have considered Marls to be your best friend, you told her your deepest secrets, no other than your diary and yourself knew. Nonetheless, you felt as if you were drifting apart, she met Lily and they befriended the Marauders as quick as she befriended you when you were little. You thought she could sense it, that’s why you were here.

You refused at first, it wasn’t your scene, you preferred promenading through Hogsmeade and drinking a few butterbears, taking a few laughs and get back in touch, but she knew how to persuade you. You caught yourself reproducing last night interaction, your rommates let in Marlene because they knew you two were friends, though they thought of you as an alienesque pair. You were in the bathroom, prepping for bed time, when Marlene’s reflection, once you wiped your face, startled you. 

‘‘What are you doing here?’’ you asked, a hand holding your chest. ‘‘You scared me, you could’ve at least knocked’’.

You turn your whole body to see your best friend with a cheshire smile, she entered the small bathroom closing the door behind her.

‘‘Do you wanna hang out tomorrow night?’’ she started, smile still present on her features. As she saw your reaction she continued: ‘‘We haven’t seen each other for so long, please!’’ she pleaded, reaching for your hand and holding in between hers.

You looked down to where your bodys joined and sighed, that wasn’t your idea of reconnecting.

‘‘I don’t know Marls, you know I rather…’’. She cut you off.

‘‘Rems is going to be there, plus James had stolen a bit of veritaserum from Slughorn’s potion room, and I’ve seen his looks when he glance over you in the hallways’’ she explained to you, ‘‘Maybe he will confess, please come and bring your roommates, they are fun, even more than…’’

‘‘Me?’’ It was your time of cutting her off. ‘‘I’ll think of it, but my friends won’t come, they have plans for tomorrow night.’’ You crossed your arms over your chest, Marlene never lied, even when she needed to it was a blessing and a curse.

She grimaced, sensing she might had screwed it up. 

‘‘We’ll have a great time, think about it, please.’’ 

The trance was broken due to James calling your name and giggling at you. This is why it you were distancing yourself from Marls, you felt as if her friends were analyzing your every moves and when you did something out of what they were expecting, they laughed at you as if you were a monkey in a circus about to do its next trick. 

Marls looked at you and next to the object set in between the circle of people, almost everybody were drunk, your first and only glass of firewhikey sat in your hands half empty. The bottle was pointed at you, of all people. Even though Marlene promised they were only going to be the Marauders and you, almost half of the Gryffindor 7th Years were there too.

‘‘Your turn, pretty friend of Marls’’ a giggling and drunk James said, ‘‘truth or dare?’’ 

Your gaze fixated on Marlene, you inhaled deeply. Taking a sip of the glass you confidently said dare. A set of ‘‘ohs’’ was heard in the room, you gulped at the sound. Silently and in your head, you cursed Marlene and her stupid ‘‘Rem will be there’’. 

‘‘I dare you to…’’ James stood pensive his next words, he look over a boy who played in the Gryffinfor quidditch team ‘‘I dare you to lick Dean’s neck.’’

Evrybody started laughing, you wanted to minimize yourself to the sixe of a bacteria, but you were in the bravest house for a reason, and you stood up and went directly to the boy. Dean move her head so you could have access to his neck and you obeyed. They started cheering you as you licked his neck. Once you finished, embarrassed you went back to the seat next to Marlene, who was heavily drunk and was cheering on you.

‘‘That’s my friend, woohoo!’’ She extended her hand so you could give her a high five. ‘‘You should have seen Remus’ reaction, he was totally pissed off I tell you’’ she whispered as you sat down. You looked in Remus direction who was gazing at both of you and you gave him a smile, he turned quickly.

You thought nothing of it, or so you wanted to think because you were overanalyzing everything of that small and chaste interaction, he must be jealous. It was your turn of spinning the bottle and as if you manifest it just by thinking of him, it fell on Remus. You open your mouth, but you were cut off by the King Potter.

‘‘Truth or dare, mate?’’

Remus was holding your gaze as his mouth let out the word ‘‘truth’’. The coin was flipped in that exact moment and you felt the side you chose, believing Marlene, his looks over at your friend group, every small interaction, was going to win.

James gave him the veritaserum in a shot glass, he drank it still holding your gaze. The coin was high in the sky.

‘‘Well’’ Sirius was the one who spoke this time, a smirk present in his face ‘‘who is the person you can’t stop talking about? What’s their name, mate? If your drunk self hasn’t understood me, who do you like, Moony?’’ 

Slowly the coin fell, still confident in the choosing side. You were going to win this one time, you knew it.

‘‘You know Y/N, Marls’ friend.’’ Your heart fluttered, the coin was showing your side as it fell and you caught it. ‘‘Well, you know the girl she is always with, what’s her name? Oh yeah, Constance! Constance Hayes.’’

Your palm open, it showed a broken heart, you bet and lost. Still holding his gaze, Remus asked you:

‘‘You could set us up, right? You are practically together all of the time.’’

That was what pushed you over the edge, you saw Marlene’s face. You felt the tears, was this Marls idea of fun? She didn’t look surprised at his revelation, not a even a little bit, did she knew? Was that why she asked you to bring your friends?

You stood up, quickly, startling the people in the room. Marlene copied your every move and followed you, repeating your name over and over again. Everybody followed Marlene, it was the beginning of a fight and people were hungry for action. Your eyes were wet of holding back the tears and hearing the commotion wasn’t helping.

Once you enter your room, you let it all out. Marlene came in right behind you, she went to hug you, but you dismissed her.

‘‘Did you know?’’ you asked, tears flowing. ‘‘I know you can’t lie, so there’s no need to try now.’’

She shook her head at your words, looking hurt just by the accusation.

‘‘If I knew I’d never have encouraged you’’ she answer, her voice half broken and half in a scream.

‘‘I said don’t try to lie now!’’ you recriminated. You wanted to believe in her, but something in your brain just didn’t. ‘‘That’s why yesterday you asked me to bring my friends, so Constance could hear how Remus liked her, because you know both, her and I, like him. Did you wanted me to stop talking about him? What was it?’’

‘‘No! Of course not!’’ She shouted. Both of you could felt how its jab was scaleting quickly into a fight, and to worsen things up, both could hear James and Remus’ shocked expressions.

‘‘Then why!?’’ There was no use in keeping it a secret anymore, the whole school would know by tomorrow.

‘‘I wanted to spend time with you…’’

You cut her, pointing an angry finger towards her.

‘‘Don’t lie!’’

Exasperated, Marlene ran her hands through her hair dyed blonde hair, pulling some.

‘‘You want to know the truth?’’ you nodded. ‘‘Okay, I knew he liked Constance, but I couldn’t hurt you, we’ve been friends for so long… What I didn’t know is that Sirius would ask him that, Sirius knew about who you like-’’

‘‘Oh, so I can’t trust you now! Okay, why did Sirius know?’’ you asked her, angrily.

‘‘Because we can’t be best friend for our whole lifes, Y/N. Our paths have separated, we have different friends, we don’t hang out us much and to be honest, sometimes I feel like our relationship is a burden’’ she said, signaling the space between you.

That was what hurt you the most, you weren’t even thinking about Remus anymore. You knew Marlene was drifting apart, you tried to hang out with her as much as you could, but you never thought you were a burden to her, but that was reality, harsh as a sea storm.

‘‘If you aimed for us to stop being friends, I congratulate you.’’ You started applaudding. ‘‘You fucking did it, Marls! Oh, I almost forgot, you can tell your stupid friends, who I hope wont bother you as I did for all these years, their circus freak is out of shows.’’

‘‘You know I didn’t mean it like that…’’ she tried to fix it.

‘‘You meant it like that, Marls, that’s the worse part. So if you are so considerate of getting out of my room, thank you.’’ You forced a smile, tears streaming down your features.

Marlene obeyed, leaving you back and as she opened the door and displayed a childish James and an awful Remus, you open your mouth to say one last thing.

‘‘Oh, Remus’’ you started, making eye contact with him, just as he did the whole time downstairs ‘‘Constance will look forward on a date with you, how about next week?’’ You smiled falsely.

‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t want to…’’ he apologized.

‘‘Don’t worry Remus, I bet you don’t even feel as bad as you paint it to be. Fuck you all, Marauders!’’ You shouted, giving them all a middle finger.

That night, you drained yourself. You had no more water inside of you to form any more tear, the next morning Marlene and Remus watched you go into the Great Hall, Marlene knew she screwed up and there wasn’t anything she could do to patch up your heart, Remus, on the other hand, replayed the last words you would ever tell him, and you were right, he didn’t even feel as bad as he showed.

Truth or dare was like flipping a coin, you could win it all, however, that night you lost a friendship, but gained a heartbreak.

[wish-upon-a-sapphic-star]

Moments

A Dorlene fic

Part 1: Living in the Moment

Part 2: There in a Moment

Part 3: A Moment Together

or read it on ao3

[wish-upon-a-sapphic-star]

A Moment Together

An (unexpected) third and final part to the dorlene series I wrote: this could probably be read on its own too but here’s part 1 and part 2

~~~~~

The wind sweeps around me. At least, I think it’s wind. I’m never quite sure. How can you know what is wind and what isn’t wind when you don’t know if wind exists here? When you don’t know if anything exists here?

I don’t know where I am. I’ve been here for a while. I know that. Not much happens here, you know. Nothing much to see, only endless white, stretching on and on and on and on… 

There’s a bench here. I sit in it sometimes, but then I get bored and walk around again. The bench is real, that I’m sure of. If it weren’t real, how could it support my weight? I would just fall to the ground, wouldn’t I? The bench must be real, or at least as real as anything can be here.

I don’t know where here is, though. If I don’t know where here is, how do I know it exists? What if this is all in my head? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. After all, I used to create universes in my head all the time, from the strange castles and kind monsters I dreamt of as a child to the stories woven in my head from the songs you sang. Honestly, though, if this is a place I built in my head, I’m rather disappointed. You’d think someone with my imagination could come up with something far more interesting than a bench and endless white.

This place must be real. It must have been built by something else, because I could never think up something so dull. 

Where is everybody? I’m so tired of being alone. I have ways to entertain myself, sure, but the loneliness does creep in at times, just like it did on the nights when you were on missions and I had to stay home alone, surrounded only by the darkness and the fear that I wouldn’t see you again. Except it doesn’t get dark here. Time doesn’t seem to matter. There is only loneliness.

I’ve forgotten my name, you know. When there’s no one else here to use it, it loses its meaning. I am simply me now. It’s freeing, in a way. But also terribly confusing. I become terribly confused here quite often, actually. I couldn’t tell you how often that was, for I don’t know how long I’ve been here, but it is a significant portion of the time.

I never forgot your name, though. Dorcas Meadowes. The strongest woman in the world. You were my hero, my lover, my friend, my support, my person to tell stupid jokes to who would still laugh, my person to laugh and scream and cry and dance with, and the love of my life. I say all this in the past tense, not because they are no longer true, but because you generally talk about dead people in the past tense, and I am unfortunately dead. But even if I’m dead and have forgotten my own name, don’t worry, Baby. I’ll always remember your name.

I don’t know why I’m here. It feels like I’m waiting for something, but what is it? What’s keeping me here? What’s keeping me from moving on to whatever comes next?

~~~~~

The blinding light turns from green to a pure, calming white. 

I look around. This place, whatever it is, is almost barren. There’s just a never ending path made of pure white. Even the differences between the floor and walls and ceiling aren’t defined.

When I squint I can see something off in the distance. I start walking towards it, if only because I have nothing else to do. 

I’m dead now. I’ve accepted that. No real point in worrying about it, the way I see it. After all, I would have gone down eventually. At least I found a worthy opponent.

Marlene, Love, are you here? Please tell me you’re here. I died trying to avenge you. The least the world can do is let me see you again, right?

The object in the distance was a bench, it seems. It’s a nice enough bench, I suppose, but I am a little underwhelmed. One object in all this vastness after death, and whoever made this place chose a bench? It’s not even cushioned! It’s a regular, wooden-backed, uncomfortable bench and it looks like the only place around here to sit down. Honestly, you’d think the afterlife would have some better planning.

A breeze rushes past me. Wind after death. Not what I was expecting either, but it is a little more interesting than the bench, even if it is just as uncomfortable. This place isn’t exactly warm.

I fold my arms for heat. What is this place? Why am I here?

“D-Dorcas?”

My heart stops.

Well, my heart has already stopped, but that’s besides the point.

Baby, that’s your voice coming from behind me. You, saying me name… I missed that sound. I hated my name growing up, but you… you always made it sound like something to be proud of. If it was you saying my name I was never bothered.

You’re still here, right? Please don’t let this be a dream, please.

I turn around.

And there you are.

My love. You’re just standing here in front of me, beautiful as ever, no blood, no marks, no fears. Marlene. You’re really here.

“Marls?” My voice sounds broken.

You take a step forward and I close the gap between us, too lost in your eyes to say anything.

“You’re really here?” I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you so hopeful in your life.

“I’m here, Baby.” I’m right here. I’m finally here with you.

“But you shouldn’t be dead. Not yet. It’s too soon!”

“You shouldn’t be dead either.”

You don’t have a response to that.

“Neither of us should be dead, you’re right. But at least we get a moment together,” I say.

I reach my hand out and hesitantly brush my fingers along the side of your face, worried that if I move too quickly you’ll vanish, and everything I’ve done will have been for nothing.

You don’t vanish, which I will forever be thankful for. Instead you lean into the touch and tug me closer until you wrap your arms around me and I’m enveloped in your warmth. God, I missed this feeling.

“Do you know how long we have here?” you ask.

“No.”

“Do you think we’ll be together wherever we go next?”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I hope so.”

You bury your face in my neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper.

I swipe a kiss across your cheek and you lift your head so your lips meet mine. 

This moment is fleeting, I know. 

But if there was ever a Heaven, this would be it. Here with you I’m in Heaven.