You make me feel brand new
(Originally posted on Ao3 for Fandom Stocking)
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Word count: 2,006
Genre: established relationship, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
Rating: T
Tony and Steve watch the last car drive away from their wedding reception.
The law banning same-sex marriage had just been abolished, and Tony has friends with enough influence to allow them a semi-formal ceremony, resembling a proper wedding even if it can’t be labeled as such, here in New York City.
It hadn’t been a big ceremony, with only their closest friends and Avengers teammates there, so they only have to gather a few things and settle a couple of others before they’re allowed to leave as well.
Soft music is still playing in the background, and it just lulls them both into a content, motionless adagio before they have to move and go home.
Steve brings his right arm around Tony’s waist and pulls him closer. He’s leaning on the open doorway, the night wind soothing their tuxedoed bodies with fresh air. Tony feels warm and happy right there at Steve’s side, as though his life couldn’t get better than this.
Steve is his husband now, and Tony knows he’s living on stolen time, but it’s the first day of said stolen time, so he feels even more justified than usual to turn his head a little and nuzzle Steve’s neck, before kissing it softly. Steve sighs a little at the touch and holds him closer still, tilting his head just so. Tony can feel the smile on the other man’s face as he gives him a soft, barely-there kiss.
Muffled piano notes mark the beginning of the new song, and Tony recognizes it after a couple of seconds. He smiles, heart warming up, and he’s filled with the sudden impulse to go along with the feeling and not squash it down, just this once.
He deserves some happiness at least on his wedding day, doesn’t he?
In all the years he’s known Steve, he’s never once thought he could be worthy of the other man – the amazing, splendid person that is now his husband. He didn’t think he was worthy of him back when Steve first kissed him. He didn’t think it when Steve fought alongside him, defended him and protected him. He didn’t think it when Steve first said he loved him.
He didn’t think it when Steve got on his knee and honest-to-god asked him to spend the rest of their lives together, because life – especially for them – was too unpredictable and risky not to live every single minute like their last.
He didn’t think he was worthy of Captain America’s love, but that was okay. It is okay.
The important thing had never been Tony’s happiness. He knows he has issues – who even knows how many – and being happy had always felt more like a dream rather than a real possibility. No, it’s always been about the perfect, idealistic, pure person that somehow chose to love the broken mess he is. It’s always been about Steve.
Steve chose to love him, and all Tony can do is never let him regret it.
All Tony can do is try to become a better person day after day, moment after moment. He never wants that sparkle in Steve’s eyes, the one he gets when he’s looking at Tony, to disappear. He never wants to crush Steve’s expectations or hurt his feelings, he never wants Steve to second-guess himself.
When Steve proposed to him, Tony had to go against all his rational thoughts telling him to say no – because, no matter how impossibly much he loved Steve, he couldn’t possibly deny him the chance of finding a person more worthy than he is of Steve’s love.
But then he saw Steve’s face, his earnest expression, his eyes bright with love and desire and burning hope, and Tony just couldn’t bring himself to crush all that.
So, he allowed himself to be selfish once again – nothing new there – and said yes.
Besides, saying no would only mean Tony didn’t believe in them enough to give it a proper chance, or, even worse, that he didn’t love Steve as much as Steve loved him.
And today has been the happiest day of his life, so he goes all-in.
“Mr. Stark, may I have this dance?”
For a second, Steve doesn’t turn. Then he does, eyes glimmering with affection, love and a tiny speck of amusement. He meets Tony’s eyes as he squeezes him just so. “It would be my pleasure, Mr. Rogers.”
