#marvelch: steve

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so “closer” is officially my theme for Steve and Rebecca

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How many Captain America movies do you think there are in the MCU? And no, I don’t mean the ones that we see; I mean the ones that the characters see.

How many movie premieres has Peggy Carter had to sit through for the sake of being polite? How many times did she have to watch herself be whittled down to a damsel in distress? Did she ever get to see one that was accurate? Or one about her instead of just using her as a prop?

What kind of agony did Steve and Bucky have to sit through on Avengers movie night when you know Tony has all the Cap movies queued, along with all the sequels and remakes? How many times do Steve and Bucky look at each other and ask “what the fuck?”

Did a new one come out after the 2012 attacks? OF COURSE ONE DID. Hell, three did. And Peggy shows up at the premiere with Steve and whispers to him, “this is for all the ones you missed.” The first one’s okay, the second one’s horrendous, and the third’s actually pretty damn good. The second one is the one that is played at least every other month at the Tower. We’re talking Sharknado levels of bad.

Just... in-universe Cap movies, guys.

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okay, so I’ve been having thoughts about Skinny!Steve’s height. Using the best screencap I could get with the least slouching, Bucky’s line is 410 pixels while Steve’s is 344.

72 inches (Seb’s height)/410=x/344 410x=24768 Steve is 60.4 inches tall, or 5 feet and half an inch tall.

Meanwhile...

Someone at the Smithsonian fucked up Skinny!Steve’s height.

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Beware the Shippers

Steve doesn’t ship it. Some people are not okay with that.

Mostly just me taking an opportunity to offer my views on people attacking people for not shipping their ships.

“You’re cringing,” Rebecca declared, not even looking up from her crossword puzzle.

Steve let out a frustrated huff of air. “Did you know that there are some people who ship me and Bucky?”

That got Rebecca’s attention. She looked up, eyebrows raised. “You’ve found tumblr, haven’t you?” she asked.

“No, it’s on Instagram,” Steve replied. “Darcy and Tony warned me not to touch tumblr with a ten-foot pole, and if they both said it, well…” He sighed and shook his head. “There are people commenting on a photo of us saying some… not nice things.”

That earned a snort from Rebecca. “Not nice?” she parroted. “How not nice?”

Steve winced. “You wanna hear it?”

Rebecca took in a deep breath and sat back in her chair. “Let me guess: people are saying I should die so you and my brother can screw each other?”

“That is the most polite version of it,” Steve confirmed. “They’re completely disregarding the fact that I’m with you and Bucky’s with Natasha, Clint, and Laura. Not to mention the fact that I’m demisexual and have only ever felt sexual attraction to you, and-”

“Babe,” Rebecca cut in. Steve paused. “You’re monologuing.” She let out a sigh and shook her head. “It’s something we’re both going to have to get used to. It’s not appropriate, and it’s not right, but even if you tell them to stop, there will be people who say things like this and fetishize a theoretical relationship between you Jamie. There are people who will claim that you, Jamie, and I are all homophobic for disavowing the ship and the people who are rude in supporting it. We’re public figures; for all some people are concerned, we’re public property.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Now who’s monologuing?”

Rebecca sighed. “What I’m trying to say is just block them and do your best not to let them get under your skin,” she said. “Some of them are perfectly benign and will leave you alone about it, but don’t get wrapped up in the bad ones.

That earned a small laugh from Steve. “I’ll do my best,” he promised, “though if I get one more dirty drawing in my inbox, I’m asking Darcy to hold a press conference.”

“Better go ahead and call her then,” Rebecca joked. “Cause I’ve got a feeling it’s not ending any time soon. We’re together, and a bunch of people who think it’s okay to harass us aren’t going to stop that. Or need I remind you of Mrs. Jones’s reaction when we adopted Philip?”

Steve snorted. “Oh, she did her best to get us evicted,” he mused. “I doubt Stark’s going to do that though.”

Rebecca grinned, a giggle escaping her as well. “Oh, you are such a nerd.”

“And you’re stuck with me.”

“Damn right I am.”

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Since Steve is practically canonically ace in AvAc, I thought I’d make him an icon.

@androgynousclintbarton​ @queerlaurabarton​ @moonlightmagnus @ringsaroundpluto @squaredoritos @darkthestars @queerseth @cptndorito @mitzismink

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I bet in the mcu there’s a post with a series of photos and gifs showing 1940s Steve progression of shows and how he gets more used to saying the lines.

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Steve: Hey Imma fight Tony and a Wakandan prince to protect Bucky instead of just talking it out

Nick Fury: read at 10:17pm

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Imagine Mindy McCready in the Avengers.

Steve: Seriously, guys, there's a kid on the team now. Watch your language.

Hit Girl: You're fucking kidding me, right?