#mash igor

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M*A*S*H Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 Results!

Hello everyone! Thanks so much for participating in the first round of M*A*S*H Cards Against Humanity!! Sorry that the last few rounds took forever to come out, school got super busy.

Here are the winners from each question:

Q1. Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children _______.

Read by: Hawkeye

Winner: A big, sloppy blowjob from a mean, tired cowboy

Given by: Colonel Potter

Q2. What sounds great after four margaritas?

Read by: BJ

Winner: Creamy slices of real, California avocado

Given by: Klinger

Q3. Why are you so short?

Read by: Radar

Winner: The government 

Given by: Charles

Q4. What totally destroyed my asshole?

Read by: Charles

Winner: Women in positions of power

Given by: Margaret

Q5. Unfortunately, no one can be told what ___________ is. You have to experience it for yourself. 

Read by: Klinger

Winner: The cutest fucking shoes I’ve ever seen

Given by: Margaret

Q6. Here’s a little something I learned in business school- The customer is always ___________.

Read by: Colonel Potter

Winner: A real job with insurance and your taxes taken out and everything

Given by: Father Mulcahy

Q7. What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?

Read by: Kellye

Winner: A tiny, gay guitar called a ukulele

Given by: BJ

Q8. It’s late at night. You’re in bed with your lover, Patrick Stewart. He leans over with a twinkle in his eye and asks “How about ______?”

Read by: Margaret

Winner: Setting boundaries with co-workers

Given by: Charles

Q9. I so drunk I __________.

Read by: Father Mulcahy

Winner: Repression

Given by: Hawkeye

Q10. This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with ____________.

Read by: Igor

Winner: Hot Lettuce

Given by: Hawkeye

Honourable mention to the runner up for Q10, losing by 1%...

2nd Place: Meatloaf, the man

Given by: Father Mulcahy

Tally:

Hawkeye: 2 BJ: 1 Radar: 0 Charles: 2 Klinger: 1 Colonel Potter: 1 Kellye: 0 Margaret: 2 Father Mulcahy: 1 Igor: 0

For Round 2... I'd like to add another character...

Who should I add in the next round?

Sidney

Della (my OC)

Colonel Flagg

Voting ended onMay 13, 2024

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Back to my M*A*S*H texting au bs… here’s whatever this is.

Hawkeye’s Contacts:

Beej 🤨

Brother in Crime 🤝🏻

Major Baby 🫡

Worm Eater 🪱

Charles Emerson Winchester III 🧐

Dad 🩺

Dad II 🎣

Dad III 🐴

My Son 📡

Shnozz 👃🏼

The Good Father ✝️

Sidney 🧠

Cute As Hell 👩🏻‍⚕️

Dysentery on Legs 🤮

Colonel Crazy 👁️👄👁️

Keeper of the Alcohol 🍸

In order of appearance we have: BJ, Trapper, Margaret, Frank, Charles, Daniel Pierce, Henry, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Father Mulcahy, Sidney Freedman, Nurse Kellye, Igor, Colonel Flagg, and Rosie

I may change some of these as I do more if the cast and as I rewatch the show.

If you have other ideas for Hawkeye’s contacts please let me know as I’m not 100% happy with them yet (mainly Margaret, BJ, Sidney, and Trapper).

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MASH Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 8

Hey all! Sorry for the long absence! Uni was absolutely kicking my ass but I finally handed in my last assignment for my Bachelor's degree yesterday so I'm hoping to be able to post more now :)

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 8...

It’s late at night. You’re in bed with your lover, Patrick Stewart. He leans over with a twinkle in his eye and asks “How about ______?”

Reader: Margaret

Margaret Would Pick...

The Rwandan Genocide

GoGurt

Setting boundaries with co-workers

Yo stanky ass

Getting half-hard and trying to smoosh it in

A powerful philosopher named Brainhead

Voter suppression

Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my pubes

Letting that pussy breathe

Voting ended onApr 16, 2024

One week for this poll, but I might post the last question for this round early to make up for lost time, haha! Reblogs are appreciated :)

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MASH Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 3

Thanks again for participating in the last round!! Here's question 3!

For context, I have an expansion pack where you can make your own questions and answers... so this question just so happens to be one of those but I kept it because I thought it was funny.

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Why are you so short?

Reader: Radar

Radar would pick...

Destroying a pair of underwear 

Tearing that ass up like wrapping paper on Christmas morning

Not giving a shit about the Third World

Being inside me

The government 

An ass like a bag of pool balls 

Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle

Two shitty kids and a garbage husband 

Pulling a sick, shit-covered raccoon out of the toilet and nursing it back to he

Voting ended onNov 15, 2023

Thanks for participating!! Reblogs are appreciated! I'd also love to see your guesses on who said what, haha. Also feel free to drop asks or headcanon/fic requests in my ask box! Also, I was thinking of starting a series of "MASH Characters as things I've heard people say." Would anyone be interested? I've tested some on some discord friends and they get a laugh out of them so I hope y'all will, too!

Alright, that's it for now, thanks everyone!

-Em :)

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M*A*S*H Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 9

Hello, hello, I am back with another one of these! Finally moved home from uni yesterday and will be graduating in June! I'm freeeee!!

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 9...

I so drunk I __________.

Reader: Father Mulcahy

Father Mulcahy would pick...

Repression

An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children

Joyless, wooden Soviet toys

The pelican that will one day eat Scarlett Johansson’s baby

My son’s husband’s huge cock

The bond between a woman and her horse

Masturbating with a Sonicare

Violating the Geneva Convention

The full-blown marginalization of ugly people

Voting ended onApr 29, 2024

Only one more question left in this round. Reblogs are appreciated! :)

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M*A*S*H Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 10

Final question of this round!!

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 10...

This is the way the world ends. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with ____________.

Reader: Igor

Igor would pick...

All manner of horrors

Meatloaf, the man

Hot lettuce

Late-stage dementia

Making direct eye contact with a horse’s asshole

Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide

Yummy yummy yummy yummy rat pussy

Magnets

(in Borat voice) My wife

Voting ended onMay 5, 2024

Next post will be for this round's winners!! Reblogs are appreciated! :)

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MASH Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 7

I'm sorry this has taken me so long, y'all. Here's the next poll!

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 7...

What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?

Reader: Kellye

Kellye would pick...

A tiny, gay guitar called a ukulele

Permanent orgasm face disorder

Hiding from border patrol

Huffing spray paint

Finger painting

Catching a whiff of my vag

Corn 

Eating three sleeves of Chips Ahoy!

Auschwitz 

Voting ended onJan 25, 2024

One week for this poll! I look forward to seeing the results :) Reblogs are appreciated! :)

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MASH Cards Against Humanity - Round 1 - Question 5

The last poll had a lot more variation than I thought it would! I was pleasantly surprised! Please keep reblogging these :)

Players are: Hawkeye, BJ, Margaret, Charles, Father Mulcahy, Potter, Radar, Klinger, Kellye, and Igor

Here's question 5...

Unfortunately, no one can be told what ___________ is. You have to experience it for yourself. 

Reader: Klinger

Klinger would pick...

The full force of the American military

The cutest fucking shoes I’ve ever seen

The current political climate

Pissin’ me pants

Drake

Smashing my balls at the moment of climax

Giving birth to the Antichrist

An older man

Preparing my asshole for sex

Voting ended onDec 2, 2023

I look forward to seeing the results!!

Question: Should I keep holding the winners back and do one post after round is done? Or should I just include it in the next poll and summarize after the round is done?

Thanks!

-Em :)