Penn's a schizoid narcissist and I don't care if this is getting repetitive he is my sweet sweet baby.
He doesn't act like the stereotypical "abuser narcissist" because that isn't what he is.
other headcanons under the cut (even excluding pa) | some "suggestive" topics are mentioned
I think he and Mass have a sort of issue where one decides everything and the other doesn't (but is completely fine with it; they're both in love and are very harsh towards each other.)
Nevada probably buys New York some.. interesting outfits. He finds it amusing personally, but New York finds it quite a nuisance having a wardrobe that'd probably belong to a hooker.
New Jersey has hit his head several times, and somehow he still has "no brain damage." (considerably, he does at this point.)
MassPenn is puppy and Kitty, I will die on this hill
They’re sillies
Further evidence, Penny is a Great Dane, big old kinda scary dog but is just a softie unless you hurt someone he cares about or something. He’d show up at your door all menacing then politely ask you whether Wawa or Sheetz is better (there’s a correct answer, but PA ain’t telling you).
Then Massachusetts is the little guy who’ll beat your ass no matter what, whether you only looked at him funny or if you slapped him across the face. You just disrupt him in any way he’s on his way to beat the shit outta you.
Idk what Ginny would be if I applied him to this, but MassPenn is cutie patooties :3
Too many ships are kitty and puppy, but I feel like this is one for me :3
I might as well dump some MassPenn interpretations because I love them (outside of corncheesesteak. you'll guys know what THAT is later).
cw. mentions/implications of (past) racism (op is native)
Mass was definitely 'head over heels' for him as colonies even pre-transition (for Penn), they so just wanted to kiss but their relationship was seen as 'taboo'. (Will get into this later on.)
Penn is a transgender man, and Mass, despite being the cisgender man he is, fucking loves him no matter what. More than likely he aided in Penn's top surgery and hormone replacement therapy. (Could've also taught Penn how to make his own packer back in the day.)
So married, so gay, so old. One is a huge major tech nerd who also knows a bunch of other sciences.. while the other can play the organ beautifully and is a huge music nerd.
Mass treated Penn's cannon-based wound back in the Civil War, not as bittersweet as for what he has seen (with ONLY the wound in particular... in all of the union he got messed up over the severity) but he sees it as disgustingly beautiful after it has healed.
When they were younger, their relationship had been viewed as 'taboo' as Mass (being born between an English man and an Irish woman) was in love with Penn (who is native Lenape, Erie, and Susquehannock; whilst being adopted by a Kanien'kehá:ka (Mohawk) woman) as of course.. at the time natives (my people. sigh) were seen as inferior and savage. Didn't exactly stop them, though, since they're still in mad love.
Despite how big of a dick both of them are, they're roughly sweet to each other.
Both of them are smokers, and they swap cigarette packs all the time.
Goddddd I need to find my list of headcanons for them in my notes, there's more 100%
