Discover Top Posts Tagged with #matchmakerstart

Someone asked me what my ideal future career would be, and I just replied, 'White Chicks'.

Yeah, yeah---- door's open! Come on in.

"I have a show tonight, if anyone is interested in coming up. There will be dancing, drinks, and perhaps strippers."

How the fuck is it almost 2015 already? It was 2007, like, a minute ago.

Hey! I didn't expect to se---- oh, okay. You can just... ignore me completely, alright. It's no big de--

... (1) new tweet!

@bjj_bennett: when u want to serenade a special someone but u sound like a dying walrus

"And apparently wanting your next tattoo to be of your own face is considered weird, so. My dreams are shattered."

I have been cuddled up by the fire all day. I am just too comfy to move.

#matchmakerstart