“What a waste,” Bunty muttered, shaking her head as she looked through her cards. “And after I went through all that trouble to get that chicken. And I plucked it myself, too!”
She gave a gusty, heartfelt sigh, and Erminhilt was very nearly tempted to let her win this round, just to make her feel better. Still, no doubt Bunty would take such pity as a personal insult against her card-playing abilities, so she didn’t. However, she did share a commiserating glance with her Italian colleague before they both turned their gazes to the stares, up which Erminhilt had sent the girls not an hour ago, Felisa still sobbing onto an exasperated Livinia’s shoulder.
“I mean, what did she think we had the chicken for?” Bunty went on, frowning at her cards. “A pet?”
“Knowing Feli, that’s exactly what she thought,” murmured Erminhilt. “Any fives?”
“Go fish,” replied Bunty moodily, “I mean, I was rather hoping that Livinia would set her straight, or at least that she wouldn’t go along with Feli’s nonsense.”
Erminhilt smiled slightly. “Well, Felisa was very upset. Much more upset than Livinia expected, I think. You can hardly blame her.”
“No,” said Bunty, “But it’s such a waste of perfectly good food. Aces?”
Erminhilt shook her head, and Bunty retrieved her card from the pile. Upstairs, all was silent and as it should be, despite the ruckus that had occurred over dinner earlier on. Granted, Erminhilt had expected some kind of upset from the moment Bunty had brought back a live chicken and let the girls – in particular Felisa – see it, but she hadn’t foreseen quite that level of meltdown. She could still hear Felisa’s wails of grief for ‘Luigi’ echoing around the dining room. Her proposal that they all convert to vegetarianism was perhaps understandable, if a touch melodramatic.
Livinia had tried to calm her sister, of course, in her usual gruff and heavy-handed manner, but once confronted with the full force of just how stricken Felisa was, she’d relented and agreed to join her in giving up meat. And of course, Amelia had been ready to agree (she was always up for joining all of the latest causes and societies), and Maud was dragged in as usual. Then Luitgard had agreed, if only to cheer up Felisa, and had strong-armed Gertraud into it also. The other girls had been less keen – Kuniko, Mathilde, Eha and Suyumbike had gone along with it, but Erminhilt had definitely seen all of them sneaking mouthfuls of chicken when Felisa wasn’t watching. Alice and Irina had both refused, Alice because she was contrary and Irina because she wanted to get on Amelia’s nerves.
“Tens,” she asked distractedly, when Bunty cleared her throat impatiently. Bunty huffed, and handed a pair over. With a hum of satisfaction, Erminhilt laid down her third set.
“Even when you aren’t paying attention you’re better than I am,” she grumbled, before glancing up at the ceiling. “All quiet. You know, I was sure the little blighters would be down here after five minutes after some more food. Threes.”
“Just the one,” yawned Erminhilt, handing it over, careful to keep the card up her sleeve well hidden. It was probably blasphemy or something, to hide a card up her nun’s uniform, but then again, Bunty’s expression of baffled confusion when she inevitably lost was worth it.
So focused was Erminhilt on the card game that she didn’t even spot several small figures darting past the open dining room doors.
“I can’t believe we made it!” hissed Suyumbike gleefully, beckoning the other girls forward. “Thank goodness for Go Fish, eh?”
Felisa gave her a watery smile, still clutching Luitgard’s hand. Livinia cast her a bitter look, and stormed off ahead. Alice rolled her eyes. This was all ridiculous, but she didn’t bother saying so – she’d already said it, after all, several times, and it hadn’t done any good then and she didn’t think it would do any good now. Besides, she enjoyed a good caper every now and again.
As soon as they’d reached the relative safety of the kitchen, the girls split up. Alice, who hadn’t got to eat as much dinner as she’d have liked, even if she had refused to give up meat, headed straight for the biscuit cupboard, but alas, it was empty. Perhaps Bunty had needed the sugar ration for something else this week.
Still, there was always bread. Boring, perhaps, but Alice was hungry.
“Hey, guys!” Suyumbike called suddenly.
Alice turned, and was immediately struck with the urge to roll her eyes. Suyumbike had climbed onto the table, and was mucking about with a bra that Bunty had obviously hung up to dry. Naturally Gertraud, Mathilde and Amelia thought it was hilarious – because they were morons with the mental capacity of cabbages. Even Maud and Felisa giggled, and Eha grinned. Livinia and Luitgard, because Alice would grudgingly admit that they had some taste, just rolled their eyes.
“We could bake something!” piped up Irina from where she’d been peeking into some of the books on Bunty’s shelves, “I’ve found a recipe!”
There were gasps of delight – even Alice found herself smiling, and had to force herself to stop, in case Amelia saw and told everyone. Maud scurried over to the cupboard and after a fearful glance towards the door to check for Bunty and Frau Vogel, pulled out a box.
“Flour!” she called. Well, Maud’s version of a call, anyway. More like normal speech volume for any other person. Whispering volume for Amelia. Meanwhile, Eha had thrown open the doors to the larder, ignoring Luitgard’s frantic calls for order. Mathilde clumsily climbed onto the table with Suyumbike and – with a cry of delight – managed to find another bra. Alice watched them dancing about for a minute, unsure of whether this was funny or pathetic. She was leaning more towards the latter, to be honest, but that could just be her.
“Oh, hey, a box!” Eha stepped out of the cupboard with a box, before prising it open. Immediately, a horrendous smell began spreading into the room. Alice gagged, her hands shooting up to cover her nose in horror.
“Bunty-sensei’s cheese!” wheezed Kuniko, who didn’t like cheese at the best of times.
“Gorgonzola!” agreed Livinia, from where she and Felisa had been stood in the corner, apparently having another argument judging by the pout on Felisa’s face and the scowl on Livinia’s. “Close the box, Eha!”
Eha did so, looking moments from keeling over, and hurried back to the cupboard, past Gertraud who was making fake retching noises and Luitgard, who was rubbing her temples like Frau Vogel did when she was stressed.
BANG BANG BANG!
Alice jumped out of her skin – an air raid? She hadn’t heard a siren – and whirled around to look out of the window, just in time to hear the Vargas twins give piercing screams. In the window were two devils, fearsome and red-faced and wearing billowing black capes that faded into the darkness outside, banging and clawing at the glass. Gertraud bellowed something in German and leapt towards an alarmed Luitgard and dragged her backwards. An almighty crash sounded from the larder and Eha sprang backwards into Irina. Mathilde yelled and staggered backwards, grabbing at Suyumbike’s arm and dragging them both down off the table, still wearing bras, and right on top of Kuniko. Amelia screamed also, almost matching Livinia and Felisa for volume, and launched herself at Maud, who had jumped so badly she threw the box of flour. As Alice watched, frozen, the cloud of flour coated Maud and Amelia, whilst a finer dust settled slowly on everyone else in the room.
The devils continued to wail and bang on the window, and then – one of their cloaks slipped. It was just for a second, but it flapped open to reveal a rather pretty periwinkle dress. A periwinkle dress that Alice recognised.
With a snarl, she leapt forward, causing the devils to scarper. She scrabbled at the window, throwing it open, and yelled:
“I KNOW IT’S YOU, FROG! GO AWAY AND DON’T COME BACK!” she paused to sneeze, which probably didn’t do much for her threatening image, before continuing, “AND IF YOU DO COME BACK, I’LL-”
“You’ll what, Alice Kirkland?”
Alice cringed, closed the window, brushed off her dress, and finally turned around. Frau Vogel was stood over her, her habit somewhat askew and her hands on her hips, looking distinctly unimpressed. Alice swallowed. She was already in disgrace for yelling when Lord Cuckoo-Face had arrived earlier, and Frau Vogel was already irritated because of both that and the little display at dinner the night before.
“They scared the others,” Alice said weakly, “I was just making them go away.”
Frau Vogel turned to look at the others. Amelia was still clutching Maud, breathing hard, her glasses wonky on her face, and Gertraud was still stood in front of Luitgard, her arms slightly spread and her face even paler than usual. Livinia and Felisa, still sniffling slightly, were clinging to Abundantia as she checked over Kuniko, Mathilde, Suyumbike, Irina and Eha for any injuries.
“Anything serious?” asked Frau Vogel. Abundantia shook her head with a laugh.
“A few cuts and bruises, on trodden-on toe for Irina, a slightly squashed Kuniko, and Eha was hit on the head with a tin of spam,” she answered, “I think they’ll live.”
Frau Vogel nodded, and turned back to Alice, frowning severely. However, before she could so much as open her mouth, Amelia spoke up, her voice a little higher than usual.
“She’s telling the truth!” she said breathlessly, “Alice scared them off – we were all too scared.”
Warmth blossomed in Alice’s chest, and she looked past Frau Vogel to give Amelia a small smile. Frau Vogel began to speak, paused, tried again, and then gave a deep sigh and rubbed her face tiredly. When Alice dared to look up, however, she wasn’t angry anymore – she was smiling.
“Bunty,” she said, “I suppose we’d better get these young ladies something to eat, if that’s okay with you. I don’t think they’ll be sleeping anytime soon.”
