He’d somehow managed to get caught with Ezreal under the mistletoe, not that it was necessarily a bad thing, just that it was…somewhat troublesome given their situation. It was tradition though, wasn’t it?
Mau was reaching out before he could fully process the thought, slender digits catching the green fabric of the blonde’s sweater and tugging him close. The man’s other hand would raise to cup the curve of the explorer’s jaw, thumb lightly stroking over soft skin as he tipped Ezreal’s head just a bit before leaning down to ghost his lips over the other male’s. The kiss was deepened with a light tilt of the soldier’s head, warmth rising into his cheeks with the rush that followed. It was soon broken though, a soft breath escaping the outlander as he eased back.
"Mm…."
---
He had been expecting to get caught at least once under the many mistletoe that now lined the streets of the City of Progress with someone, though the fact that it was with none other than the soldier was a pleasing turn of events, considering he'd have much rather preferred to kiss someone that he already knew and was familiar with rather than a complete stranger. His original plan was to greet the outlander before capturing his lips in his own in a physical display of affection, but it seemed Mau had other thoughts as Ezreal found himself suddenly, and quite passionately kissed, and the soft, muffled moan that had been absorbed in the other man's mouth was proof that he'd been taken by slight surprise.
"Mmn..." he mumbled, closing both eyes and leaning forward to press into the kiss before it was abruptly broken, leaving the explorer disappointed and craving for more as heat poured into his winter-stained cheeks. Knowing he wouldn't be able to stop himself from taking his physical need further if he leaned in for a second lip-lock, Ezreal eased back, stuffing his tingling hands in his pockets and giving the frosty ground below a stare-down.
"...after all this time. After a year and a half. After all the bad shit we've been through. I still get..." he mumbled, heart fluttering in his ears as a soft exhale split his lips, the taste of his former lover still lingering on the tender skin.
"...I still feel...electricity...when you kiss me."
It had been tense for awhile, he had been tense for awhile; burying his emotions only for them to come out all at once, resulting in a cruel outburst of sorts. For days after Mau had been pacing throughout the nights that followed, the rhythmic sound of his steps doing nothing to alleviate the growing guilt in his stomach. Silver hues flickered about, as though seeking some sort of guidance from the walls that seemed to be closing in with every passing second, strangling him, it felt like. Lips parted to let out a slow, steadying breath to the soldier’s weakened, shaking frame.
He desperately wanted things to work out and he could feel that they were close to the edge and just one more argument away from losing everything they had ever built with one another. Mau couldn’t let that happen, not after all this time and everything they had been through. The thought was too painful, too horrible to even consider and his gaze was drawn to the flicker of metal on his hand; the physical representation of the bond shared between the soldier and explorer. Another sigh, this one emptying every trace of breath from the man’s lungs.
And then he was walking again, but this time his graceful strides had purpose, taking him somewhere instead of just pulling him in a continuous loop with himself. Mau was hesitant as he approached the door, trembling fingers reaching out to take hold of the knob and gently ease it open. He was greeted with the sight of his beloved hunched over, the sounds of soft sobs filling the otherwise silent room. A careful movement had the door closed once more, the soldier’s heart pulsing loudly in his ears as he went over and sat next to Ezreal, feeling the bed yield a bit under his weight.
Immediately his strong but gentle arms reached out and pulled the explorer into him, defined jawline nuzzling into wild strands of silky blonde. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry…Shh…don’t cry…” he murmured soothingly, lips brushing over his lover’s ear.
"We can make it right….and we can make it, right?"
—-
If there was one thing the explorer hated, it was crying. Though the tears unfortunately came easily to him in times of pain or emotional turmoil, Ezreal absolutely loathed the weakness that accompanied the feeling of salty, wet streaks staining the curves of his cheeks, and he much preferred to be alone when the urge to physically outpour his sadness became too much to bear, which it had in the last few days. Though he hadn’t told anyone of the rift that had formed between he and his treasured lover, he had been finding it hard to maintain the forced lies to his trusted friends, and he knew that sooner or later, they’d realize the reasons for his absence.
I knew I wasn’t cut out for this. I knew I wasn’t good enough. I just…I knew.
The feeling of strong arms and soft, whispered apologies into his ear caused the explorer to audibly gasp as his muscles tensed and his nerves frayed, the pinpricks of discomfort and fear trickling into his chest and stomach. If Ezreal was being honest, he hadn’t even heard the man come in, and the fact he’d been caught sobbing into the cool, night air would have usually only served to embarrass him, but there were other, much more important things to tend to at the moment than that trivial feeling.
"You…you’re sorry?” the blonde asked, his voice hoarse and pained as he pulled away from the soldier’s gentle, comforting embrace, the smell of wood and incense never ceasing to relax him even in times of stress and acid-tipped words. Though he’d at least attempted to get a handle on his emotions, the flickering gold energy lighting up his ocean eyes would give away just how miserable he was feeling inside, and although the sting of the previous words still lingered in his head with the force of a branding iron, he wasn’t about to let the best thing that had ever happened to him walk away, and it seemed that, thankfully, Mau felt the same.
"…we just have to work on it. On us. We knew this was going to be hard, right? We…” Ezreal choked, shaking his head from side to side a few times as though the motions would force the words to come out. When they didn’t, he instead raised his small body upward to capture his spouse’s lips in his own, the act teeming with desperation and passion.
"…I love you, Mau. No more fighting, alright? Just…no more."
In some way it wasn’t entirely unexpected, it had always been known that Ezreal’s passion was dangerous and could potentially end him. And it had done just that, far too soon for the soldier’s liking, but then…it was always too soon when the love of your life went before you. A sigh parted lips that were flushed from the cold and silver eyes that matched the somber sky cast about the crowd that had gathered for what the man could fairly label as the worst day of his life. He was expected to speak, to give some closure, he supposed, to others also suffering from the loss yet, what was he to say?
Fingers pressed into a denim-covered thigh, noting the way the ring on his finger felt so much cooler…and he wasn’t completely certain it was purely the temperature outside. Yet hidden beneath the layers of clothing he wore to protect his muscular form from the harsh weather, was the matching half to the set, another ring draped on a fine chain of gold, resting just between his collarbones. Sentimental it may have been, but Mau couldn’t allow it to be buried with the body of his lover. A shift of his neck and jaw would have Mau nuzzling into a rather familiar emerald fabric that was carefully wrapped around his neck to stave off the brisk winter wind which lightly pulled at the edges of it.
It still smelled of the blonde and the soldier breathed deep to soothe the frayed nerves which had him trembling ever so slightly. Though he seemed stoic with how calm his features appeared, Mau was hurting in such a deep way that he couldn’t manage to even express it properly. He knew he must look cold an heartless to those around him but he hoped dearly that they would understand how broken he was inside. It was a pain that couldn’t be put into words but it stole the breath from his lungs and made it feel as though all of those bones encasing the tender pulsing organ within, were cracking and tightening to crush the life right from it.
Still he was silent, searching for words.
"Ezreal Forcher was a brilliant man. He lived for his work and his loved ones, though the former often had him away for months at a time. I was content to wait, to see him return to tell stories of the things he had witnessed and discovered. We’d never discussed it but I think we both knew the unspoken risk that he might leave and never come back…" A slight pause and silver eyes casting upwards to the clouded sky as if seeking strength to continue before they flickered back down.
"I loved him more than life itself and now that he is gone, it feels quite empty. But…I know that he would not want me—or any of you, to dwell on his passing. A time comes for all of us and he was no exception, even if it seemed and felt far sooner than it should have been. We must survive and move on because that is what he would want for all of you. Where something ends, a new beginning follows…" Mau’s voice, surprisingly firm and strong, though edged with an obvious hurt, trailed off into silence, his breath rising in pale washes as the warmth met with the coolness of the air. There was nothing else he could think of to say, nothing that was of any importance to anyone but himself.
They would never understand the way slender digits stroked his jawline or how soft lips brushed against his own in a way that was almost too feathery light, yet more than enough to make his pulse rise. None would understand how their bodies entangled so well as they slept together, running digits along one another’s curves and through each other’s hair. They wouldn’t know the burning passion and adoration shared between the two men. They wouldn’t understand or know the love. From a distance they could look in, but they could not feel, nor truly understand the depths of the soldier’s heartache. Likewise, Mau did not expect such a thing from anyone.
And he inwardly begged forgiveness for abruptly turning on his heel and walking away, leaving the burial to be done without him. Many times the outlander had seen others laid to rest and this was one time where he did not wish to watch the slow descent of a finely crafted box containing the remains of the person he loved the most, into the ground, never to be seen again. He did not wish to cast the first handful of dirt onto his lover’s coffin, nor did he wish to toss the first rose. That could be reserved for those who needed such a closer for he merely wanted to be left to heal, to be alone with his thoughts and memories for the time being.
The snow crunched under dark boots and not a soul dared to stop the soldier’s weighted steps. For this, the man could only manage a silent thanks in deep gratitude. Moments later would find him settled on his beloved motorcycle, using the method of transportation despite the bitter cold wind that followed the speed of it. The flowing waves of the green edges of the scarf contrasted starkly against the pale surroundings Mau traveled through and his thick outfit did little to truly halt the bite of the winter’s air. However, with a heavy heart and a full mind, it hardly was noticeable, let alone cared about. Only when he reached a very specific place, special to him and perhaps only him at this point, would this silent, yet desperate desire to escape finally be quelled.
Eyes of pure silver, jaded and tired fell upon the worn and abandoned building that had been the place of his first meeting with the explorer. It was a place they had both come to despise and yet, it was within this cage which had caused so much suffering, that they had met. The memories were still so crystalline, so perfectly clear as if it were merely yesterday instead of years. Dark tresses lifted with a breeze that brought with it the beginnings of a new snowfall, soft flakes of ice that danced about the air and brushed along his skin, only to get caught and melt. A longing sigh, resigned and melancholy emptied the soldier’s lungs as he turned his back to the broken down Institute that still held so many fond recollections.
"I suppose fate has its ways, though I wish you could have been with me us a little longer." Again Mau’s legs moved, careful steps bringing him back to the bike so he may mount it, not casting a single glance back to the place he had left behind so long ago. The past was the past, so they said but the past was also what shaped the personality of the present. The sound of the motor’s whir filled the dense silence and faded into the distance.
Some time later, the soldier would be tapping the snow from his boots before slipping back into the warmth of his home where two relatively young boys; one blonde and one dark-haired would run to meet him, small arms clinging to the edges of his coat and cheeks nuzzling against his hips. A smile tugged at the man’s lips as he dropped down and took both children into his arms, planting kisses atop each of their heads. Perhaps he was a terrible father for not telling them what had happened yet, but in truth, how was he to explain something he had not yet fully accepted himself?
These boys, his sons, their children, they were the reason he would keep fighting because even though Mau’s other half was gone, there was still those that needed him and among them the most great of these were his own babies. And they were babies to him, even despite their ages.
"What happened to other daddy? He was supposed to be back a week ago!" the blonde would pipe up, lips pursed in a familiar pout as he crossed his arms. His eyes though, were definitely Mau’s, brilliant shades of silver that reflected light so nicely.
"Simon…" Teeth met with the tender flesh of a lower lip as the soldier met the curious gazes, one blue and one a replica of his own. They were so innocent, so young still that it pained him to have to taint that. And then a flicker of an idea, a thought that would make it easier even when looking at the precious bundles of joy reminded him of another that used to be at his side. There was a shuffling of fabric as the heavy winter wear was removed and hung up in its proper place before Mau went over to seat himself on the couch, gesturing for the two young boys to join him. And they would, small forms nestling against each side as they looked up at him with wondering eyes that held the adoration typical of a child to a beloved parent.
His heart raced and even as it ached for the loss, it burned with love for the young lives he had been left to nurture on his own..
"Damian, Simon, let me tell you a story about your father’s last adventure…”
The sight of his lover’s partially bared form sprawled so comfortably on the couch was enough to give a twinge of desire and a flood of warm adoration. What an odd mixture of feelings, how they overlapped and melded with one another yet were so very different. With a soft chuckle the soldier would slip up to the sleeping blonde and lean over to ghost his lips along the curve of the explorer’s neck, trailing down to his clavicle. The raven-haired man’s teeth came into play then, grazing along the line and feeling the bone that lay just beneath the skin.
And then Mau would simply maneuver himself onto the furniture with Ezreal and nestle closely against him, enjoying how the smaller space forced them to be pressed so snugly together.
---
He didn't awake by any means, but somehow, the explorer knew that he wasn't alone anymore, and unconsciously began to press himself closer to his lover's form as though he'd been incredibly uncomfortable without him.
In a way, he had been. The increase in warmth was definitely and wholeheartedly appreciated, and although he remained asleep, a small smile stretched itself across Ezreal's lips, allowing Mau to see just how happy he was even when he couldn't outwardly speak.
It wasn’t unusual to have the explorer fall asleep in the silky red sheets of his bed, the brilliant gold contrasting brightly with the crimson that entangled his slender form. A soft smile, warm and loving, graced the soldier’s lips as he nestled in beside Ezreal, draping a well-muscled arm over his lover’s waist and tugging him flush against his larger frame. A small sigh spilled from parted lips, the rush of air shifting strands of flaxen as a defined jaw nuzzled into the soft locks.
"Rest well, baby." Mau murmured softly, brushing his lips gently along the explorer’s cheekbone. This time, he wasn’t saying that because Ezreal had been worn to the bone from summons. And that was perhaps the greatest gift of all to the argent-eyed outlander.
—-
The gentle brush of lips caused Ezreal to stir a bit before he opened one sleepy blue eye, milky film dulling the oceanic color a small bit. “…I…will.” he murmured, quickly closing it again and snuggling impossibly close to the outlander, enough to feel the flush of his skin and the steady beat of his heart. Though he hadn’t admitted it, the strong, rhythmic thudding of the slowly healing organ was his favorite lullaby, and each time Ezreal fell asleep to it, he could hear the inflicted wounds begin to solidify and heal.
He waited for the day when there were no cracks at all to impede its beating. It wasn’t today, and it wouldn’t be tomorrow, but it would happen.
It was unexpected, or perhaps not in the least. Mau did not ever really try to be surprising or extraordinary, he only attempted to do what he could to the best of his abilities. His graceful steps, perhaps the most telltale sign of his presence if not for how quiet they were, would precede his approach. Yet even so, it would probably still come as a bit of a start when the soldier’s powerful arms slipped around a slender waist from behind and the defined curve of his jaw nuzzled into soft, blonde strands.
"And how is my baby today?" The question came in a voice that was low and gentle, like the limbs that held the explorer’s form close. Lips soon traced along the tender shell of Ezreal’s ear, the action affectionate and careful. "Hopefully well because if not, I’m going to have to fix that. Can’t have you in a bad mood."
---
The name. Though he'd grown to enjoy it, Ezreal was certain he'd never truly get used to being called something of the sort, though his surprise at what he'd been referred to as was quickly overshadowed by the familiar feeling of strong arms and the scent of wood and inscence that was known to spark his very being to the core. Relaxing and closing one eye, the explorer reached up to cup his palms against the other man's large forearm, feeling the muscles beneath the soft fabric of his freshly-washed crimson sweater.
"I'm alright now." he whispered, nearly going limp as he backed up against his lover, enjoying the feeling of their melded forms. The tranquil feeling was reminiscent of sitting in front of a slowly rippling pond, and if he was being honest, he would love to bathe in the soldier's presence for eternity if it were possible.
His steps were fatigued and strained, but the sheer pride was evident with each stride. Dirt and determination gathered together on his face as though the former was an outward symbol of the latter, and the aged bag slung over his shoulders could very well have been a trophy if it was caked in glittering gold and not incredibly worn leather. As he gazed up toward the darkening sky, Ezreal at first wasn’t sure what had convinced him to make the journey over to the soldier’s residence instead of his own, but the realization that after an entire morning and afternoon of burrowing beneath Piltover’s underground, companionship and maybe a trace of explanation was necessary.
He knew I was gone. He always knows.
Walking up the steps and counting each one in the process, the explorer winced at the pain in his legs and quickly Shifted through the heavy door instead of bothering to continue abusing his limbs, and immediately after was met with one of the soldier’s mewing cats as it rubbed up against his leg as well as the comforting sound of running water in the distance. A shower. Mau was taking a shower. Due to the fact the feline had greeted him, Ezreal assumed the rest of the house was apparently empty, and even then, the only thing he could really focus on was the slow ‘hiss’ in the background, entranced.
Hot, running water. That would help remedy both the dirt and the pain.
“Hey.” The return greeting to the cat was a whisper as the blonde knelt down with a shudder, giving the animal a small pat on its black head before he righted himself and made his way toward the bathroom. Surely Mau was used to his unexpected appearances, and although showers were usually used as a small window of privacy, Ezreal was certain he wouldn’t mind his company by any means, and if he did, well…they’d work around it as they always had.
Shifting through the locked door and immediately dropping his pack to the tiled floor, the explorer began hastily stripping himself of his attire, suddenly made aware of just how filthy he’d gotten during his adventure. The sight would have honestly been revolting if it hadn’t originated from a reawakened passion, and as Ezreal slipped himself into the shower with an oddly graceful maneuver, he couldn’t help but smirk, wondering if the bared man had even noticed him.
[[ Currently and officially? They are in an open relationship. Obviously, they're seeing each other, but Ezreal tends to not commit to anything serious, so...it's open. ]]
