#maven ff

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

All My Friends Are Heathens; Part 1

The 100 College text AU. 

Character List:

TheSuperiorBlake = Octavia

Trikru = Lincoln

Greenbean = Monty

Jaaaaaassssspppar = Jaspar

Illiad = Bellamy

NurseGriffin = Clarke

i-make-it-go-boom = Raven

TrashPrince = Murphy

-----------------------------------

TheSuperiorBlake:

Guyyyyyyyyyyysssssssss I did a bad thing

TriKru:

BABE!!!

Greenbean:

Again?!?!

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

OOHHHHHHHHHH DEATAILS!!!!!! ;)

Illiad:

O no!!! 

TheSuperiorBlake:

O YES! ;)

But seriously.... i MAY have hit an old lady with my car

Illiad:

0_0 I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS YOU ANIMAL!!!

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

How r u txting from jail?

Trikru:

Like RAN OVER an old lady, or like, I bumped her gently with the front of my car??? The distinction is important.

NurseGriffin:

Does she need a nurse? Did you call an ambulance? Is she dead? O god, I can’t have a repeat of Spring Break ‘12!!! 

Greenbean:

Great, u broke mom x_x

TrashPrince:

Mom was already broken

TheSuperiorBlake:

It wasn’t my fault tho

She just appeared out of nowhere like a ninja

I bet she did it on purpose for the life insurance smh

Illiad:

O U STILL RAN OVER A HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!

NurseGriffin:

BUT IS SHE OKAY????????

TheSuperiorBlake:

She flipped me off as the paramedics carted her away... I think she’s fine

i-make-it-go-boom: 

K but goals tho

I aspire to be that salty at 60 

TrashPrince:

UR that salty now

U told me to float myself for stealing 1 of ur fries

i-make-it-go-boom:

tHose were the best damn fries i’d ever had

u can STILL go float urself!

TrashPrince:

U guys see what I have to deal with?

Jaaaaasssspppar:

u signed up for it son

Trikru:

at least ur gf doesn’t run over the elderly

TheSuperiorBlake:

she’ll be fine! Old people have hip replacements all the time

Illiad:

DEAR GOD OCTAVIA!!!!!

NurseGriffin:

U guys I can’t deal with this stress!!! I got midterms this week.

Jaaaaaassssssspppar:

Just bullshit it

That’s what I do

Greenbean:

bro that’s why ur failing

TrashPrince:

even i study for midterms

& i’m only in class once a week

Illiad:

you’re an inspiration to us all murphy

TrashPrince:

DAD IS PROUD OF ME U GUYS!!! 

I’M THE FAVORITE NOW!!!

Illiad:

O I’m not done talking about this

TheSuperiorBlake:

Anybody want to offer their couch?? Papa bear is pissy.

Illaid:

Still in the group text

i-make-it-go-boom:

my couch is up for grabs

Jaaaaaasssspppar:

Monty’s is free

Trikru:

U always got a bed at my place baby

even if u do run over old ladies ;)

Illiad:

OVER MY DEAD BODY LINCOLN

COME FIGHT ME

I WILL GO DOWN TO YOUR HOUSE AND BURN IT TO THE GROUND

Greenbean:

careful fam dad’s about to have an aneurysm

TrashPrince:

ur pretty aggressive for a librarian

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

I miss high school bellamy

football helped his rage issues

i-make-it-go-boom:

football bellamy was dope

now he’s just a nerd with daddy issues

Illiad:

I DON’T HAVE DADDY ISSUES

& i’m still plenty cool

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

u gave us all a lecture about brushing r teeth last night

friday u were writing a paper IN A BAR

TrashPrince:

u offer to do my laundry regularly

TheSuperiorBlake:

u have more books in ur closet than clothes

Jaaaaaaaassssspppar:

#nerd

NurseGriffin:

I think ur fun bellamy

TrashPrince:

That means nothing from her

Trikru:

I love u clarke but ur kind of a #nerd 2

TheSuperiorBlake:

ur basically my Mom

i-make-it-go-boom:

what octavia said

NurseGriffin:

Bellamy tell them I can be fun!

I’m so much more fun than Bellamy!!

Illiad:

i feel so loved

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

she just destroyed ur entire life lmao

TrashPrince:

real talk tho

who’s the most fun out of the 2 of em?

Greenbean:

sorry mom

it’s bellamy

he can get us into senior parties

Trikru:

TRU TRU

TheSuperiorBlake:

if i say u do i get to sleep on ur couch mom?

i-make-it-go-boom:

mom... she get’s us free drinks at Dropship 

TrashPrince:

I’m the favorite son now I gotta say dad

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

dad for the win!

Illiad:

sorry princess the people have spoken

NurseGriffin:

I CAN BE FUN

I’LL PROVE IT!!!!

TOMORROW NIGHT PARTY AT MY PLACE!!!

Illiad:

Clarke no!

Jaaaaassssspppar:

CLARKE YES!!!

NurseGriffin:

Bring whoever u want

We’re gonna raise the roof

TheSuperiorBlake:

no one says that anymore

but I’M IN

gonna need a ride tho

bell just stormed in and stole my car keys

he’s lecturing me now

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!

Jaaaaaassssspppar:

would but can’t get my party privileges taken away

NurseGriffin:

See u all tomorrow

be prepared to bow to ur party queen!!!!!!!

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

All My Friends Are Heathens; Part 2

Summary: In an attempt to prove she’s more fun than Bellamy, Clarke’s throwing a party and Octavia is inviting everybody/attempting to get Clarke & Bellamy together. 

Previous Character List:

TheSuperiorBlake = Octavia

Trikru = Lincoln

Greenbean = Monty

Jaaaaaasssssppper = Jasper

Iliad = Bellamy

NurseGriffin = Clarke

i-make-it-go-boom = Raven

TrashPrince = Murphy

New Character List:

ICE-ICE-BABY = Roan

ILLian = Illian

HeadbandWonder = Harper

Guns&Roses = Monroe

WellWellWell = Wells

MillertheKiller = Miller

———————————

*TheSuperiorBlake added ICE-ICE-BABY, ILLian, HeadbandWonder, Guns&Roses, WellWellWell, and MillertheKiller to a new group chat* 

TheSuperiorBlake: IT’S PARTY TIME BITCHES!!

Griffin’s place @ 8

HeadbandWonder: Hell yeah!

Guns&Roses: What do we need to bring?

ICE-ICE-BABY: Yyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaa boi! I’m game!!!!! =) =) =)

MillertheKiller: + 1′s?

WellWellWell: Thanks O, but I’ve got debate club ‘til 6 and work ‘til 10. :(

ILLian: who’s all gonna be there?

TheSuperiorBlake: Bring ur party attitude Monroe

& maybe a cellphone charger

Mom said something about needing to designate drivers but we know that’s not happening. We’re probs just gonna crash wherever we land

TheSuperiorBlake: Roan r u drunk already?

ICE-ICE-BABY: U sweet summer child

How do u think i make it through school?

WellWellWell: It’s only noon!!!!

ICE-ICE-BABY: y wait til later when i can do it now?

Logic baby! Get some!

HeadnbandWonder: Frat boys at their finest

Guns&Roses: It’s a miracle he’s even awake at this hour

ILLian: That’s offensive and stereotypical

Guns&Roses: Who r u kidding illian???? We all saw you run across the soccer field in ur panties after Roan’s midterm bash last semester.

MillertheKiller: u the ultimate frat boy 

TheSuperiorBlake: Guys we can have the ultimate frat boy fight later

focus on the important stuff

LIKE USING THIS PARTY TO GET BELLAMY AND CLARKE TOGETHER

ILLian: who?

ICE-ICE-BABY: da cranky blonde chick and freckles the librarian

u met them @ my partaaaaayyyyyyy

MillertheKiller: petition to only refer to bellamy as freckles the librarian from here on out

Guns&Roses: dido

HeadbandWonder: yeeeeeeeessssssssss 

WellWellWell: guys I’m in the middle of a class!!!! please take me out of the group text!

TheSuperiorBlake: My bad boo

See ya’ll later!

———————

*TheSuperiorBlake added Trikru, TrashPrince, i-make-it-go-boom, jaaaaasssssssppper, MillertheKiller, Greenbean, Guns&Roses, and HeadbandWonder to the group chat OPERATION BELLARKE*

TheSuperiorBlake: listen up u trolls

We got 1 night to parent trap our idiot friends into a relationship

Jaaaaasssssppper: Ah skinny love!!!

It makes me sick

Greenbean: what’s the plan?

Guns&Roses: We could stage a kidnapping

TrashPrince: my specialty

i-make-it-go-boom: i’m not posting bail 4 u again murphy

not after u threw up in the back of my car

it still reeks of beer and tacos!

TrashPrince: I said I was sorry!!!

TheSuperiorBlake: this is why I’m in charge

u are idiots

Trikru: look at my baby taking charge <3

TheSuperiorBlake: thx boo <3

NOW we will arrive early

And i swear to god murphy if u get pissy i will pour whiskey up ur nose while u sleep!!

TrashPrince: wouldn’t be the first time

TheSuperiorBlake: once we all arrive, we will suddenly remember that we forgot to pick up cups

Clarke will be in a panic

Bell will lecture

Lincoln, u will suggest they run out together ‘cause Clarke’s car is the nicest and Bell is the fastest shopper

Jaaaaassssspper: Solid

TheSuperiorBlake: They will be forced to spend quality time together

Now, here’s the important part

Monroe & Harper, I need u to break into Clarke’s car before she leaves

Monty has made a special cd to set the mood

Greenbean: it’s a playlist of the most romantic songs ever made =)

Jaaaaaaaaassssppper: it’s just adele songs

Greenbean: quit it with the adele thing jasper! we’ve talked about this.

TheSuperiorBlake: ANYWAY!! 

u will slip it in the cd player and set it on low so it’s in the background when they start the car

The first 2 are Clarke’s favorite, she won’t notice what it is until it’s too late

This is Phase 1

TheSuperiorBlake: everybody got it so far?

TrashPrince: kinda boring tbh

MillertheKiller: i like it

Guns&Roses: harper and I will meet with monty in an hour to get the cd

HeadbandWonder: got the lock picks ready to go chief

TheSuperiorBlake: perfect

Now, Phase 2 begins with raven

i-make-it-go-boom: finally!

TheSuperiorBlake: raven while mom and dad are at the store u will call them crying

Finn has randomly crashed the party and is making a scene

Trikru: i texted him from Illian’s # 

told him there was a party tonight and convinced him to come

i-make-it-go-boom: REALLY GUYS?!!? FINN?? MY CHEATING EX BOYFRIEND GOT INVITED TO THIS?????

I <3 Bellarke, but really???

Can’t murphy take one for the team and have emori show up????

TrashPrince: I don’t cry

i-make-it-go-boom: stop lyin

u cried yesterday when we watched Me Before You

TheSuperiorBlake: the deed has already been done

u will call Clarke crying

murphy will be in the background screaming at Finn

TrashPrince: excellent

how physical do u want me to get?

I’m cool with a little jail time

the night shift cops are cool

1 just friended me on facebook 

Trikru: yeah, Kane's cool. We should call him beforehand to come break up the fight

TheSuperiorBlake: nothing physical

we don’t want to ruin the party

Jaaaasssppper: HERE HERE!!!

TheSuperiorBlake: when mom and dad kick into overprotective parent mode they will race home, bonding over their mutual desire to rip finn to shreds.

by this time miller will have removed finn from the party

we only need the guy there long enough to catch his voice on the phone while raven cries

MillertheKiller: i make no promises he won’t get dragged through the pool first

Jaaaassssppper: we should hang him from his boxers from the flagpole outside!!!!!!!!!

Greenbean: no atomic wedgies jasper

TheSuperiorBlake: Once he’s been removed mom and dad will split up

Clarke will console Raven, Bell will check on Murphy

Lincoln, here u will pass them each a beer so they calm down

Jasper will then play a copy of the cd Monty made

Jaaaaaaassssssppper: right on!

Trikru: excellent plan

TheSuperiorBlake: When the cd starts playing everybody scatters

In the privacy, Bell will ask Clarke to dance

determine to prove she’s fun, Clarke will except

FROM THIS POINT ON I WANT NO CONTACT WITH THEM FOR AT LEAST 3 SONGS, UNDERSTOOD?

i-make-it-go-boom: yes captain!

Trikru: ur doin great baby <3

TheSuperiorBlake: for the rest of the night have fun

BUT if u see Clarke or Bell start to drift away from each other STOP it

Offer more drinks

Bring em food

Bodily shove them into each other if u have to

This is our night fam!

Guns&Roses: FOR MOM AND DAD

Jaaaaassssppper: I’m tearing up u guys

this is actually happening!!

TheSuperiorBlake: keep it together 

—————-

*OPERATION BELLARKE GROUP CHAT*

Guns&Roses: we’re all set, captain

Jaaaaaasssssppper: our ship is about to sail!!!!

Trikru: Jasper play it cool bro

they’re gonna catch on if u keep grinning at them like that

Jaaaaassssppper: sorry

———

*Iliad started a direct message with NurseGriffin*

Iliad: they’re up to something

NurseGriffin: I know! Roan keeps texting me smiley faces

Iliad: u think they ran over another old lady?

NurseGriffin: i think we’d know about it

Or at least, be getting a call from the police station

Iliad: Maybe Jasper baked them his special brownies again?

NurseGriffin: They’re not high just… weird

Iliad: this isn’t going to end well, princess

NurseGriffin: It never does