#max the bully

[madamesoup16]

Just realized I can post these here

If anybody has any suggestions for more things like these let me know <33

[tomcrowsex]

i'm the dirt under your nails.

or wjatever caitvi was sayin i never watched arcane

[madamesoup16]

ummmmm hi guys I wrote a poem about. Those two mean guys from that show I Guess. Normal about them

What Happened at the Party

You’re awkwardly holding him on the bathroom floor

In a stranger’s house 

At a party you hate

Why did you even come here?

He’s gone. You weren’t invited, you’re too stupid, too ugly, too poor, and now he’s gone and you can’t protect him. You start pacing.

“And…who’s this?”

“This is my bodyguard. He’s my plus one, to make sure nothing…unfortunate befalls me. I’m sure you understand.”

“Mhm.”

You’re grumpily holding him on the bathroom floor

As he vomits into the toilet

Trying to keep it off of his suit and bow tie

Uncaring if it gets on you

You’re pacing. You don’t know what to do, you’re alone, and then the door opens. You scramble towards it, falling to your knees.

“Did you see that horrid little rat of a man he brought along with him?”

“Looks more like a rabid dog, if you ask me.”

“You don’t suppose he actually cares for the wretched thing, do you?”

You’re defensively holding him on the bathroom floor 

As a stranger knocks

And you growl at them to screw off

As he throws up again

You’re kneeling. He stumbles in, lays a dismissive hand on your head, and falls onto the bed. You run over and stare at him.

“Oh, but his idiocy is half the fun of it!!”

“How do you mean?”

“I’ve trained him very well, I pay him peanuts and he’s still practically begging at my feet to guard me!”

You’re confusedly holding him on the bathroom floor

He buries his face in your shoulder and begins sobbing out apologies 

You’ve never seen him like this 

You don’t know what to do

You’re staring at him. He looks green and disheveled and passed out drunk; must’ve been one hell of a party. You take off his shoes and drape the comforter over him.

“You’re so good to me, my dear Maximillian, you’ve always been so good to me, I’m sorry for being so dreadful—“

“Hey, it’s, uh, it’s okay. Don’t…hey, don’t do that.”

“Don’t leave me, please. Just don’t leave me.”

You’re awkwardly holding him on the bathroom floor.

All you’ve ever known is violence, throwing and taking punches

You don’t know how to protect, to shield, to care

But now your master is ordering you to.

You’re tucking him in. It’s a clumsy, unpracticed attempt at gentleness, but he needs you to protect him, just as you need him to provide for you. That must be what friendship is, you suppose.

“You got it, boss.”

And you are his guard dog, after all.

[madamesoup16]

Chat I think I need to start selfshipping with Max The Bully. What are you gonna do kill me

[madamesoup16]

34 from the writing prompts with Mitch and Max perchance?

Awesome I love these losers :33 warning for a bit of sexual innuendo. Winks

“HAH!!!” Max whooped and jumped off of his spot on the floor as his Fantastic Racer crossed the finish line onscreen. “Take that!! I told you the monster truck would be the fastest!!”

“It would seem so,” Mitch said tersely, letting his controller drop onto the plush velvet couch he sat on. 

“C’mon, admit it!!” Max jeered. “I won and you lost!!”

“I’ll be doing no such thing. I prefer Computer Fighters 2000, anyway.”

“You’re just saying that cause you’re a sore loser!!” He grabbed Mitch by the shoulder and shoved him with a laugh.

“Don’t touch me!!”

“C’mon, admit I won!!” He slung an arm tight around his shoulders and rubbed his knuckles roughly on the top of his head. 

“Maximillan—why, of all the—“

“Admit it, ya wimp!! You lost and I won!!”

“Why, you—the impertinence—Maximillan!!!” Mitch screeched, wrestling himself out of Max’s grip. “You foul little—“ 

He inhaled deeply to calm himself, then straightened his clothes and hair. 

“You forget yourself,” he said coldly.

“I do?” Max looked down at himself, then shrugged. “Nah, I’m still Max.”

“You forget your place,” Mitch hissed, stalking towards him with cold fury. “I am your employer, at any moment I could fire you and you’d be right back where I found you, on the streets, pickpocketing for petty cash.”

“Come on, Dollarton,” Max said playfully, although a hint of doubt creeped into the edges of his voice.“I thought we were through with that, I thought we were buddies now!!” He shrank into himself as Mitch backed him into the corner of the room. 

“You are no buddy of mine,” Mitch spat. “You’re beneath me, I only put up with you because of the services you provide. Make no mistake, Maximillian, I do not like you in the slightest.”

Despite being completely cornered by now, Max still grinned back at his boss.

“Yeah, well, ya might not like me, but you definitely want me!!”

For some reason, Mitch instantly went bright red and backed away. “Why, I—what??”

“What?” Max said, shrugging. “It’s true. You want me to stick around, cause you’re too much of a wimp to beat your enemies off yourself!! And you gotta treat me nice  with all your fancy stuff, cause if you don’t maybe you’ll be the one gettin’ beat off!!”

“Maximillan!!”

“What??” he whined at Mitch’s scandalized shriek. 

“Think of your phrasing!”

“I dunno what you’re talking about. All I’m saying is, if it was me against you, you’d be getting creamed!!”

Mitch turned completely around and buried his face in his hands. Max tilted his head to the side, confused and a bit concerned.

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed about it!! That’s why you hired me, right?” He came closer and clapped a hand on Mitch’s shoulder. “We need each other, you and me! Even you don’t like me, we’re still buddies. We gotta be!”

Mitch looked at him and tried to glare, but couldn’t seem to bring himself to. Max grinned at him with that half-toothless smile and the brown eyes of an overexcited dog, and he softened. 

“You’re even more of an imbecile than I ever imagined, Maximillian.” 

Then, he gave him a swift, decisive peck on the cheek, and strode quickly out of the gaming room.

Max stood, blinking in confusion after him.

[madamesoup16]

[madamesoup16]

i might be a little late but any max headcanons?

GRINS SO BIG AND WIDE. He and Maxwell (basically expy of Real Life Max Pacheco) are twins and Maxwell is a little bit in tune with the occult and was the one that raised him from the dead after he Sploded. He was also best friends with Julie-Kewlie as a little kid and she still likes him despite his Bullyness. She thinks he’s funny. They were a couple little Rapscallions together <3 they had a No Boys Allowed club up until Max was like Hey. I think I’m Boy Allowed. And then it became specifically a No Maxwell Allowed club because they liked being mean to him </3

After he throws Mitch into the pinball machine he feels inexplicably really bad and gets him out. And then their relationship becomes really fucked up and bad because Mitch is the one person in the world Max could never hurt and they have to kiss and be mean to each other about it. Not that I ever think about that

[normaltothemax]

"Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."

“Wait, you have friends?”