#may-hem

[sp00kybois]

y'all know it's true though

[callmesero]

Figured I’d contribute to the May-hem that’s happening, plus it’s been a hot minute since I’ve drawn this angry bastard. 

I honestly love drawing him.

@therealjacksepticeye

[spnfanatic4ever]

May-hem anniversary.

One year ago..we saw the REAL sad dad 😈 @therealjacksepticeye

[kagetsukai]

Drops of Satina: Day 12 - Winds of Change

This was a beast to write and took forever - I’m sorry. That being said, we are at a pivotal moment of the story and things are going to progress quickly from here ;) Hold on tight!

Raphael Trevelyan belongs to @out-of-the-embers

Words: 2,871 || Read on AO3

“What do you mean, you haven’t given it to her yet?”

Lily stood before him, arms crossed, clearly trying to stare him down while looking small next to his imposing height. It would have been adorable if his gut wasn’t already twisting with anxiety.

“I haven’t had the time, alright? We just returned from the Winter Palace, after all,” he retorted grumpily.

She huffed and narrowed her eyes.

“We came back yesterday afternoon. It’s already midday next day and you’ve had all morning to do it,” she pointed out. “Get your butt out there and give her the damn present, Raphael. If nothing else, she needs those tools to work efficiently.”

Raphael sighed heavily. He needed to admit to himself that he was scared to go up to the library, where Hannah worked, and give her the toolset he had purchased for her. He was downright terrified that she’d look at his offering and laugh him out of Skyhold.

“She’s going to hate it,” he said out loud.

A sharp smack landed on his upper arm that smarted more than it had any right.

“Oww!” he exclaimed. “What was that for?”

“You’re being a complete idiot!” Lily told him firmly. “I have a feeling that if she hated you, she would have told you already. So stop being so dumb, give her the present, and ask her out!”

Raphael glared down at her.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is. You’re going. Right now,” she said and placed her hands against body, pushing him out. “Don’t come back until you’ve asked her out.”

“What if--”

“Out!”

The door to Lily’s quarters closed in his face with an ominous thud and Raphael found himself at a loss for words. If he knew his cousin as well as he did, she would stubbornly refuse to speak to him until he did what she had told him to do. That thought alone made him bristle and want to buckle down in opposition, his pride dictating that he go against her wishes. On the other hand, he knew the longer he avoided the issue at hand, the more difficult it would be to face. He sighed from the bottom of his soul and chose to be reasonable.

With slow, heavy steps, Raphael went down the stairs to his own quarters, opened the door and stopped, his eyes quickly finding the hefty black box that sat on his table on the opposite side of the room. It had arrived while he was at the Winter Palace with Lily, but even after his return, he hadn’t had the courage to give it to Hannah. He felt depleted in every way and the thought of facing her scrutiny made him drag his feet.

Which meant he needed to get it over with.

Before his traitor mind could convince him to not do it, Raphael strolled up to the box, tucked it under his arm and left, determination hardening his steps. In all honesty, he took the longest path possible to walk towards the library and up the spiraling flight of stairs. His mind was a jumble of conflicting, confusing thoughts; it didn’t help that the Winter Palace had been more of an endeavor than anticipated and continued to weigh heavily on his heart; his hands still hurt, knuckles bruised and cracked from how much he had punched his father. The gloomy cloud continued to hover over his head as he turned a corner to what he assumed had to be Hannah’s office.

Once his eyes fell on Hannah sitting at her desk, Raphael realized he had been hoping she wouldn’t be there to begin with. It was midday - most people were in the mess hall for a meal. Still, she sat at a large desk, her face scrunched up in concentration and her hands busy sketching on a large piece of parchment, completely oblivious to being observed.

Raphael cleared his throat.

Hannah looked up at once and he watched as her expressions went from blank curiosity to surprised delight  to guarded confusion in a matter of seconds.

“Raphael?” she asked. She put down her pencil and stood up. “Wha-- what are you doing here?”

There was a weird kind of energy that surrounded her, complete with restless hands and shifting eyes that did nothing to calm or encourage Raphael on his little ‘errand’.

“Well,” he started and found himself needing to clear his throat again. “I hope this isn’t a bad time? I wasn’t expecting you to be here at this time - everybody seems to be in the mess hall.”

Hannah frowned and briefly looked out the nearest window as if checking the positioning of the sun in the sky, then around the empty room she was in.

“Did I miss the bell again?” she distractedly asked no one in particular and sighed. She turned back to Raphael and shrugged. “I do that a lot.”

Something was wrong, Raphael could tell just by how guarded and dispirited she was.

“Hannah?” he asked and moved to stand by her side. “Is everything alright? You seem… off.”

A smile that didn’t reach her eyes briefly lit up her face.

“I’m fine, if a little tired,” she said, while her smile slipped even more. “I’m piled under a lot of work at the moment.”

This was it, this was the opening Raphael needed, so he took a deep breath and went for it.

“Would this be a good time to give you something to help combat that?” he asked and placed the box on her desk.

Hannah looked at the plain box, uncertain and clearly suspicious, then glanced back at him.

“What is this?” she asked.

“A present?” he said and tried to give her a friendly smile. “You should open it; I wasn’t sure if I got you the right thing - it’s not my expertise, after all.”

A frown marred her face again, but she still reached for the box and carefully unlatched it. Once the lid fell open, a gasp dropped out of Hannah’s mouth and she looked at Raphael again, shocked.

“What the fuck?” she whispered. Her fingers automatically went to touch all of the instruments held within - Raphael recognized measuring tools, a caliper, and some items that were clearly enchanted with magic.

“I overheard you saying how you lost your tools in Haven and I thought I could help get you new ones?” he said sheepishly. “The merchant assured me they’re high quality and very useful to an engineer. There’s an entire booklet in there explaining what the enchanted ones do, because I spaced out when the man started talking about rock density and methods of finding structural weaknesses inside a wall.”

Hannah kept touching the tools, picking them up one by one with a lot more expertise than Raphael had when he had first saw them. She was still mostly silent, focused on her inspection, though Raphael had an impression she was trying to gather her thoughts. When she looked up again, her face still reflected disbelief and confusion.

“That’s-- that’s a really expensive gift,” she finally said. “Why would you give me something so… extravagant? It’s too much.”

She was staring at him, searching his face for whatever signs of deception she expected. For once in his life, Raphael forced himself to keep eye contact under scrutiny, to show her that he meant nothing nefarious by the gift, even if he could already feel heat climbing up his neck.

“I know you’ve had to deal with a lot of shit here, so when I had the opportunity to do something nice for you, I took it.” He paused and frowned. “Did I misstep? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to offend--”

“No, you’re fine,” Hannah interrupted him and finally smiled like she meant it. “I’m just not used to receiving such lavish gifts from men; usually it’s because they want something else from me.” She paused and gave him a shrewd, calculating look. “Unless, you do want something from me.”

The implication was blatant and it felt like a slap to Raphael’s face. His already short temper roared back to life and he replied without thinking.

“I don’t have a habit of buying my way into a woman’s bed, if that’s what you’re insinuating,” he said flatly. “I’m not that kind of a man.”

Hannah’s face first went really pale before turning a brilliant shade of red. It looked - and felt - like Raphael had slapped her in turn and she rubbed hands over her cheeks where the blush was the deepest. She took a few deep steadying breaths and looked him in the eye again, clearly contrite.

“Maker, you’re right, I’m sorry,” she said and stepped a little closer. “I didn’t mean to offend you, truly.” She paused. “I can see you’re a good man, which is not something I’ve seen often before and I’m not sure how to behave around you. Can you forgive me yet another misstep?”

Anger that had so easily lept to the forefront of his mind seemed to slowly dissipate the longer Hannah spoke. Raphael sighed and nodded, recognizing how easily he let his temper get the better of him

“Of course,” he said. “And I’m sorry for snapping at you. It was uncalled for.”

She shrugged and grimaced. “Considering I was being an asshole, I feel like I deserved that.”

“You did not,” he told her.

Without thinking, Raphael took one of her hands in his, gently raised it to his mouth, and placed one tender kiss onto her knuckles. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it, but there he was, his lips on her skin, reveling in the way her breath hitched in her throat. When he looked up, Hannah was staring at him with a slightly unfocused gaze and he wondered if he would ever get tired of being looked at like that.

Unfortunately for him, Hannah noticed his bruises and her eyes narrowed at once.

“What happened to your hands?” she asked sharply, staring at his battered knuckles.

Exhaustion and anger returned at once and Raphael quickly pulled away, hoping to conceal what he didn’t want to be seen. It had been bad enough that Lily’s Inner Circle bore witness to a moment of weakness on his part; he didn’t need Hannah to know as well.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “It’s fine.”

“Raphael, please,” Hannah pressed further and tried to reach for his hand again.

“Don’t touch me!”

The words left his mouth before he could stop them, tainted with fear and colored with embarrassment, growled like a caged animal he had been at the Winter Palace. He could still remember the soft give of cartilage beneath his knuckles as warm blood burst forth between his fingers. It had been both satisfying and disappointing to find out just how doughy his father had become.

For her part, Hannah immediately stepped back and made sure to keep her hands down and out of the way.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, once again repentant. “I didn’t mean to.”

This was all wrong, Raphael realized. He somehow went from having a tender moment with Hannah to watching her stare at him with hurt and beginnings of fear, just because he couldn’t keep his cool. He looked down at his knuckles, flexed them once or twice to make sure the wounds were still closed and healing, and went to card fingers through his hair. It only calmed him a little.

“It’s not your fault,” he said and huffed. “Winter Palace was rougher than I anticipated.”

Hannah continued to stand where she was, clearly not trusting him to not have another outburst. Raphael wanted to reassure her, to tell her that he would never actually hurt her, but no matter how hard he tried, the words wouldn’t come. All he could think of was what had happened back then. So he raised his hands and showed Hannah the full scope of his injuries.

“My Maker-forsaken father decided to show up on day two of the ball to try to gain influence with the Inquisition,” he said, sounding tired even to his own ears. “He had the gall to directly order me to return to Ostwick to reclaim my title and take my ‘rightful place’ as his heir. He made me so angry I blacked out for a moment and it wasn’t until Dorian and Bull were pulling me off that scum that I realized what I had done. That’s what happened to my hands.”

A part of him was horrified that he chose to share this much personal information with a woman who could use it all to her own benefit, but a larger part seemed to understand that if he truly wished to make Hannah trust him, he would have to open up - even if a little. So he stood there, hands in front of him, and watched as she absorbed it all and came to her own conclusion.

“You really hate your father, hmm?” she asked quietly.

“With a passion,” Raphael spat out. “He’s the most vile creature in the whole world.”

With a little tilt of her head and a slight nod, Hannah seemed to accept his reply. She continued to stare at his hands, clearly mesmerized by the bruises and lacerations there.

“May I touch your hands?” she asked.

The request caught him off-guard and Raphael wasn’t sure what to say. He opened his mouth several times, uncertain if it was appropriate to allow Hannah to touch places that had been defiled by his father’s blood, before he decided he was being silly. He nodded, “yes.”

What Raphael hadn’t expected was for Hannah to slowly step closer to him, wrap her soft fingers around his rough ones and gently graze a thumb over his messed up knuckles. The sensation of her skin on his made anger and discomfort melt away as if by magic, leaving him short of breath and slightly dizzy. He watched, amazed, as she brought lips to each hand and softly kissed them.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she told him with a tender, sad smile. “You deserve better.”

Speechless, Raphael watched as Hannah continued to gently trace her fingers over every single bruise, cut, and welt, taking great care to not cause him further pain. The soft touch brought back memories long forgotten, of another pair of hands that took care of him anytime he’d scrape a knee as a child. His aunt was an amazing woman and the fact that Hannah evoked similar feelings inside of him, made his chest hurt with longing.

“Thank you,” he said softly. He slowly shifted his hands so he was holding Hannah’s hands in turn. “You deserve better, too.”

Maker, he didn’t want to ask her out. He wanted to beg Hannah to let him court her, to worship the ground she walked upon, to speak words that brought her happiness, to protect her against anything that wished her ill. And above everything else, he wanted to always see her face look up at him with that same gentle expression he was seeing right now.

“Hannah. I was wondering--”

“I’m telling you! That was Orlesian cheese in our quiche and not Fereldan. Get your facts straight.”

Raphael closed his eyes and pressed his mouth closed, hoping to stop the string of expletives he was prepared to shout at the group of researchers that chose to loudly talk while walking up the stairs outside. Potential presence of other people made Hannah move back at once, her hands detangling from his; he felt almost cold without her close to him. Thankfully, the small group passed by and moved onto another part of the library.

An awkward sort of silence fell between them and Raphael racked his brain for something to say, for something to do. For her part, Hannah stood just a pace away, a soft blush still tinting her cheeks. It somehow reminded him of something Lily had said earlier.

“I was wondering if you were planning on coming to the tavern tonight?” he asked. It wasn’t the question he had had in mind, it was the only viable one anymore. “A whole lot of us are getting together for games and drinking and I’d love for you to be there.”

Hannah frowned, then glanced at her schematics, finally settling her eyes on the brand new box of tools. She smirked as she looked back at Raphael.

“How could I refuse?” she asked, then nodded. “I’ll come. I might be a little late, but I’ll be there.”

The grin that spread on Raphael’s face could probably rival the sun in how bright it was.

“Great! I’m glad,” he said. There were more people walking up the staircase, so he decided it was high time to leave Hannah to her work. “I’ll see you later, then?”

She chuckled. “Yes."

She seemed amused by his excitement, but Raphael didn’t care. He walked backwards for a little, watching Hannah smile back at him, before he turned around and stepped outside. For the first time in more than a week his heart felt light and happy, and if anybody caught him whistling to himself, they didn’t comment.

[kagetsukai]

Drops of Satina: Day 8 - Ice

Raphael Trevelyan belongs to @out-of-the-embers

Words: 1,185 || Read on AO3

Sleeping on a cold, hard ground with barely any bedroll to speak of was almost impossible, Hannah quickly found out. Supplies were minimal and whatever comforts they had went to those in greatest need - the elderly, the sick, the injured. With that in mind, she didn’t complain that she wasn’t getting more than a few hours a night because she knew others had it worse, and instead focused her remaining energy on making sure the kids in her care were warm and looked after.

As she laid down for the night and tiny bodies curled around her, she once again fought tears against memories of Haven and how many orphans were in this tent now. And how many more didn’t survive the dragon’s fire. The screams of death and destruction still rang in her ears - so reminiscent of her time in Amaranthine during the darkspawn attack almost ten years prior - and only got worse whenever sleep managed to claim her.

She was reliving yet another one of those nightmares, when she felt a gentle tug that pulled her out of the Fade and into the waking world. At first, she couldn’t figure out what was going on, but then she felt another, harder shake of her leg. Still disoriented, she raised onto an elbow and saw... Raphael Trevelyan at the entrance to the tent, his eyes worriedly looking back at her.

“What?” she asked blearily. Why was he here?

“You were having a nightmare,” he told her simply, then paused. “I’m sorry. Should I have not woken you up?”

Hannah shook her head and frowned; remnants of her nightmare still clung to her eyelids and she desperately wanted them gone. She rubbed at her face with her free hand and shot Raphael a grateful look.

“No, it’s alright,” she reassured him quietly. “My nightmares about the darkspawn returned.”

He frowned, clearly confused.

“Darkspawn? But there weren’t--”

“Amaranthine,” she said. The screams still lingered in her ears so she continued talking even though she didn’t feel like it was the time to share her story. “I was in Amaranthine during the Blight when a horde of darkspawn rolled through the city, and if not for the Grey Wardens and Commander Cousland, I would have died with the rest of the townspeople. I had nightmares about that attack for months, but that was almost ten years ago. They’re back, though they now feature a dragon and a whole lot more death.”

Raphael stared at her in shock. “I’m so sorry,” he said “That’s horrible.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” she told him, though the smile on her face felt strained and tired. “Besides, I have little ones to worry about, so I have no time to feel sorry for myself.”

As if on queue, one of the children closest to her moaned in his sleep and Hannah turned to the little boy to make sure he was still tucked in against the cold. It was difficult to keep these kids warm, but she would do her best to try. By the time she looked back at Raphael, he had a really strange expression on his face, one she could not decipher.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, suddenly worried. “Why are you here anyway?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to make a trip around the camp,” he said. “I tried to keep watch over Lily, but the healers kicked me out of her tent.”

Lily.

The Herald.

Raphael’s cousin.

Of course he seemed distracted when his only remaining family member had almost died in a massive avalanche and was currently recovering from her injuries

“How is she?” she asked softly, completely unsure what else to say.

He sighed, closed his eyes, and slowly rubbed at his face.

“She’s alive,” he said in a voice that was beyond tired. “Extensive hypothermia, multiple broken bones, and a face wound that will probably leave a nasty scar, but at least she’ll be alright. I don’t like that I can’t be by her side, but at least she’s resting.”

Hannah reached out and briefly covered his hands with hers, squeezing lightly; he gave her a smile in return, though it looked more like a humorless grimace. Then his eyes fell on the ground she had been sleeping on.

“Do you not have a bedroll?” he asked, frowning.

She shrugged. “There’s a shortage; I spread mine out so the kids would be more comfortable,” she said. “It’s fine, we’re all cuddling close for warmth and it’s almost cozy.”

The look Raphael gave her in turn spoke volumes about what he thought of such ‘comforts’. He stood up, unclasped his cloak and moved to spread it around her before she stopped him.

“What are you doing?” she demanded to know. “You need your cloak against the cold.”

“And you need all the extra warmth you can get, for yourself and the children,” he shot back. His eyes were determined and Hannah had a feeling she would not win this, even if she pushed further.

“But what about you?” she asked.

“My jacket is fur-lined. I’ll be fine.”

His tone brooked no argument and Hannah felt too exhausted to try. She let him spread the thick fabric over her body and the children that slept closest to her. A scent of nettle and clean, wet earth entered her nose, and she suddenly felt both warm and protected. She continued to stare at him as he smoothed out the cloak over the forms underneath it, and when his hand grazed over her shoulder, she felt a shiver run down her back that had nothing to do with the cold. Raphael was close to her now and she could see just how exhausted he was from the dark circles around his eyes.

“You should get some sleep, too,” she said softly. “There’s room next to Gordon, if you want.”

Raphael glanced to the spot she indicated and back to her; the smile he gave her was both sad and regretful. He shook his head.

“I snore like a fog horn,” he explained. “If you’re trying to keep these kids asleep, you want me far away from here.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she tried to reason with him.

“Yes, it’s that bad,” he said and stood up. He was towering over her now, his hair brushing the roof of the tent. “Get some sleep while there’s still time, alright? Good night, Hannah.”

“Good night,” she replied and watched him disappear behind the tent flap. The soft crunch of boots against the snow soon vanished among the noises of the night.

In the end, Hannah did manage to fall back asleep and not have another nightmare. Instead, she dreamt of the celebration at Haven, feeling the music flow through her veins again, speeding along with the mead she so enjoyed. And instead of a dragon, she dreamt of Raphael Trevelyan, the way he had looked at her when she had asked him to dance. In the Fade version of that night, she had danced with him until the morning, happy and carefree.

[kagetsukai]

Drops of Satina: Day 16 - Blessings

Raphael and Lily Trevelyan belong to @out-of-the-embers. Thank you so much for helping me with this prompt!!! The name of the nobleman was concocted by @shannaraisles, who is forever the best ever?

Words: 2,767 || Read on AO3

Summons to the Inquisitor’s quarters came as a surprise and put Hannah in a state of mild panic. She had never truly spoken with the Inquisitor - most of her communication being handled by either Commander Cullen or, occasionally, Lady Montilyet - so the fact that she was going to have a direct conversation made her worry. In her past job experience, any time The Big Boss wanted to chat with her, it meant immediate termination and a need to look for a new job. With a heavy dread in her heart, Hannah put away her work, locked everything up and slowly made her way towards the Inquisitor’s tower.

Whatever she had expected to find at the top of the seemingly endless staircase was not what she found; the room was as large and splendid as Hannah remembered, but instead of obvious opulence it was tastefully decorated with practical furniture and multiple bookshelves. A large desk sat on the opposite side of the room and the Inquisitor stood up and moved around it the moment Hannah stepped past the balustrade

“Hannah!” she exclaimed. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

Hannah dipped into a courtesy and frowned a little.

“You have formally summoned me, Inquisitor,” she pointed out. “I could not refuse.”

Lily frowned and hummed. “That… is a good point,” she said. “Either way, I’m happy to finally get to talk to you. And please, call me Lily. I don’t want to be so formal when we’re about to have tea.”

Hannah stared at the woman, confused.

“Tea?” she asked.

“Yes, tea,” Lily replied with a shaky grin and pointed to a fancy couch that Hannah hadn’t noticed before - there was a table before it, ladened with food and drink. “I was gifted some black currant tea and I thought that maybe you’d like to share it with me?”

A multitude of questions crowded in Hannah’s head, one more insistent than the other. While she no longer thought she wasn’t going to get fired from her position, she still had no idea what was going on. Just to be on the safe side, she decided to play along.

“I must admit, I’ve never had black currant in my tea,” Hannah said carefully. “But I’m always interested in new food experiences.”

“Excellent,” Lily said and directed Hannah to sit down. “Shall we get to it then?”

Once they sat down, Lily went about pouring out some tea into their two cups and offered sugar and milk to go with it. Then she offered the little sandwiches and scones and cookies that sat neatly arranged on fancy porcelain plates. Hannah was surprised, because those were the kinds of things that were left for servants to do and not the most powerful woman in Thedas. Still, she held her tongue. For her part, Lily looked extremely tense. Hannah noted the stiff posture, the fingers idly picking at the nails, and the slight frown between the brows that reminded her of Raphael. Something was going on, that was for sure.

“I guess I should tell you why I asked you here today,” Lily intoned. Hannah nodded, but said nothing. “For some time now I’ve been hearing rumors of how certain members of the Inquisitions treat you and I have to say that I never condoned it and I am sorry you had to put up with it.”

Hannah narrowed her eyes.

“I had sent Master Wardell to the Exalted Plains as a test,” Lily continued. “He was supposed to go on site and repair a bridge in the area. Not only he failed to give me anything beyond a few planks tossed across a gap, but he belittled my intelligence when I questioned his actions. When I asked why he couldn’t build me a bridge like the one in Emprise du Lion, he immediately got defensive and angry. Do you know why?”

Of course Hannah knew why Wardell would be unable to replicate the bridge in Emprise du Lion, but she also knew she could never say it out loud. She didn’t have to.

“I think he wasn’t the one who had designed that bridge,” Lily said and finally looked directly at Hannah. There was steel in those gentle brown eyes as she continued to speak. “I think it was you who did it, which is even more impressive because you had to have done it sight-unseen. Which means you should be the one who’s in charge of our engineering team.”

This was getting to be too much so Hannah set down her tea cup before she spilled any liquid.

“Inquisitor,” she said and paused. “Lily,” she corrected herself. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Master Wardell--”

“Is no longer employed by the Inquisition,” Lily finished.

A dragon could have landed between them and it would have shocked Hannah less than the words she just heard. She kept staring at Lily, her mouth slightly open.

“What?” she asked weakly.

“Master Wardell is gone. I have no patience for men who disrespect women just because they’re women,” Lily said evenly. “Which means the position of Chief Engineer is open and it would bring me great joy and satisfaction if you agreed to take it.”

Words formed at the tip of her tongue, but no matter how hard she tried, Hannah couldn’t make a sound. The fact that the bane of her existence would no longer make her life unbearable brought on such vivid relief, she actually felt her body uncoil from the stress she didn’t know she had been carrying. Then the full meaning of it all hit and her eyes widened.

“Wait, you mean--” She paused, suddenly overcome with emotions. “I’d be making all of the decisions? Officially?”

Lily smiled a little and nodded.

“Yes,” she simply said. “Will you accept the offer?”

“Yes!” Hannah immediately agreed before Lily changed her mind. She had worked her entire life to get to this point and she wasn’t going to let doubt get in her way. “I accept.”

It was such a happy feeling to know that for the first time in her life, Hannah was being recognized and rewarded for her hard work. Even when she had a commission with Queen Anora, her position was largely in name only and had been given to her as an appeasement to Warden Tara Cousland. If this thing with the Inquisition went well, Hannah would be able to finally have enough influence to force the College of Engineers to accept her among them and give her the title of “Master”.

“You’ll be taking over Wardell’s office, of course,” Lily continued. “His men arrived earlier today and have been packing everything, but once they’re done, the space is yours.”

No more crowded spaces with multiple people shuffling about and breaking her concentration, Hannah realized. She wouldn’t have to lock up her desk every time she had to step away, either. All of this information was so good, Hannah was having a hard time keeping her emotions contained.

“Thank you. You will not be disappointed,” she whispered. “This means so much to me. A lot more than you could ever imagine.”

A soft blush tinted Lily’s face as she smiled wider, clearly pleased with herself.

“I’m glad,” she said and her brows furrowed again. Something else was clearly on Lily’s mind, because she shifted in her seat and sighed deeply. “I am very sorry I didn’t realize what had been going on. If it hadn’t been for Raffy, I probably wouldn’t have known.”

Hannah blinked. “Raffy?” There were so many implications and her mind tried to consider all of them at once, creating a cacophony of thought that threatened to overwhelm her.

“He talks about you a lot, you know,” Lily offered and chuckled. “Won’t shut up, really. I feel like I already know you really well just by the stories he’s told me over the past few months.” She paused and looked down at her hands; the quiet guilt that radiated from her made Hannah frown even more. “He’s been through so much, so seeing him be so happy with you…” Lily looked up and smiled sadly. “I’m glad he’s found you, that is all.”

A familiar sort of pain swelled in Hannah’s chest as she tried to work through her emotions. It should have annoyed her that it took Raphael’s intervention to get others to respect her, but she felt grateful instead. She finally had someone in her life who was willing to fight for her and had her back - and that was invaluable. The fact he also made her incredibly happy was just a lovely side-effect.

“I’m glad, too,” she said and felt herself blush a little.

Lily kept looking at her, eyes slightly sad and distant, as if she was trying to figure out Hannah’s innermost thoughts.

“Can I ask you something?” she said.

Hannah nodded. “Of course.”

“What are your intentions towards Raffy?”

Perhaps she should have known this question would come up, since their conversation had turned to such personal topics, but it still made her gape at Lily in surprise. How could she answer when she didn’t understand her own feels just yet?

“Intentions?” she said slowly. “I don’t have intentions towards Raphael. If I’m to be honest, most days I’m surprised he wants to be around me to begin with.”

Lily nodded, though she didn’t seem convinced.

“I get it - I think,” she said, then frowned. “I’m sorry. I know I’m probably coming off rude, but I can’t help worry about his well-being. The last thing I want is to watch him get his heart broken.”

Oh. It all suddenly made sense and Hannah felt herself relax. She smiled a little and felt her cooling blush return in full force.

“If that’s the case,” she said, “I can tell you one thing for sure: I don’t know what the future holds, or if we’re meant to stay together, but it’s not my intent to hurt Raphael in any way, shape, or form. I care about him very much.”

The words felt like a love confession in Hannah’s mouth, and she felt terribly embarrassed that she let herself speak so freely, but it seemed to have the desired effect: Lily’s body relaxed visibly and a small smile graced her face.

“And I’m glad to hear that,” Lily said.

Silence returned between them. It felt a little awkward to sit with Raphael’s cousin and discuss Hannah’s feelings for him, so to cover her embarrassment she reached for her tea cup again and grabbed a plate with sandwiches. Lily followed suit and they were soon engrossed in their own thoughts.

The first one to break their silence was Lily.

“So I heard you had a bit of trouble with a nobleman the other day,” she said in a casual tone. “Does that happen often?”

Hannah scowled into her tea cup at the memory.

“Not so much anymore,” she said, trying to keep a growl out of her voice. “Usually it’s enough when I glare at any idiots who feel entitled to demand things from me.”

Lily nodded along.

“Makes sense,” she said. “Still, I will not tolerate such horrible behavior within the walls of Skyhold - no matter if they are high-born or a commoner. I permanently banned him from Skyhold; Lord Bruic Scheissehausen will not bother you anymore.”

Hannah had been in the middle of a sip of tea when she heard the name of the nobleman who had accosted her and it took all of her willpower not to spit take everywhere. She coughed several times, trying to clear her airways, while Lily stared at her in confusion.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asked and frowned. “I don’t actually speak Fereldan so I wasn’t sure if I got the pronunciation right.”

Once Hannah collected herself again she waved off Lily’s concerns.

“No, no, you’re quite fine in your pronunciation,” she said around a grin. “I just wasn’t prepared for the man’s name. Did Lady Montilyet not translate it for you?”

Lily’s frown deepened. “Now that you mention it, her face was unusually amused when we talked about it, but I didn’t think anything of it. What does it mean?”

Hannah snorted and broke into a new bout of laughter. “His name--- his name is Brick Shithouse,” she finally managed to get out and dissolved into unrestrained giggles.

Lily’s eyes bugged out at once as an undignified snort issued from her mouth - which she promptly covered with her hand.

“Oh Maker, that’s horrible,” she said softly.

Hannah couldn’t help herself. “A horrible name for a really… crappy man,” she said and snorted as well.

Lily groaned at the terrible pun. “That was an awful joke.”

“Not as awful as that name, though!” Hannah managed to wheeze out. She was crying-laughing at this point and Lily was having a hard time keeping things together as well. “His parents really had to hate him.”

A new thought brightened Lily’s face in delight. “No wonder he’s unmarried! Who would want to be called ‘Lady Shithouse’?”

Hannah’s brain immediately provided an answer: “Perhaps a woman named Latrine?”

That was the last straw for Lily and she burst out laughing at full volume. It further triggered Hannah and they were soon howling together while trying to stay upright on the couch. Any time either of them tried to collect themselves into a semblance of calm, she would look at the other and start laughing again. There seemed to be no end in sight.

“What’s so funny?”

Raphael’s raspy voice washed over Hannah like a blanket and made her sober up significantly. There were still tears in her eyes so she tried to wipe them off as she turned to face him - and Lily did the same. He stood there, at the top of the stairs, staring at them with curious suspicion.

“I’m not sure how to say this--” Lily started, but Hannah waved her off.

“You saved me from the shittiest man in Ferelden,” she said and burst out laughing again. Lily followed suit.

Not being in on the joke, Raphael seemed a little annoyed at the little display before him, though he did his best to play along. He moved to sit down on the couch next to Hannah and gently put his arm around her waist.

“I already knew that,” he pointed out. “That doesn’t make it so funny that the two of you are crying into your teacups.”

Once again Hannah tried to contain her mirth; she took several deep breaths and fanned her face to help dry out the tears that kept streaming down her cheeks. She pointedly avoided looking at Lily in case her amusement triggered her - this had to be said quickly.

“Apparently the nobleman who accosted me was called Lord Bruic Scheissehausen,” she said and choked on a laugh. “Which in Fereldan means Brick Shithouse!”

Both Lily and Hannah dissolved into giggles again at the way Raphael’s eyes turned into saucers in shock.

“What the fuck,” he swore. “That can’t be real.”

“Oh, it’s real alright,” Lily chimed in. “Lady Montilyet was the one to tell me his name.”

Raphael stared at Lily for a moment before his face broke into a grin.

“That’s amazing,” he said. “He’s an ass, so he deserves an asshole name.”

Another bout of laughter bubbled up in Hannah’s lungs, though it simmered down the moment she got to look into Raphael’s smiling eyes. The funny name quickly drifted out of her mind, instead replaced by a steady heartbeat of Raphael’s name her body called out any time he was near. She could feel the small circles he was rubbing into her lower back and it made her melt under his ministrations.

“Anyway,” she heard Lily say. “Now that we got our silliness out, perhaps we should finish the tea service?”

Hannah turned back to Lily in time to see the other woman smile softly in her direction. It made Hannah blush in embarrassment for getting caught in such an intimate embrace.

“Can I join you?” Raphael asked.

“Of course,” Lily replied. “Grab a cup. There should be more than enough for everybody.”

As they busied themselves with food and drink, Hannah couldn’t help but marvel at how different her life had become in a span of just few weeks. Not only she found a man who cared about her in ways she never knew possible, but she also got a promotion and gained a female friend who didn’t seem threatened by her existence. Somehow, life became good.

[kagetsukai]

Drop of Satina: Day 2 - Misunderstandings

Raphael Trevelyan belongs to @out-of-the-embers

1476 Words || Read on AO3

His name was Raphael Trevelyan, a fact that made Hannah incredibly irritable and prone to grumbling. She hated pretty noblemen on the best of days, so the fact that the entire village would not shut up about him made the past week particularly annoying.

“He’s so dreamy,” Flissa sighed with a slightly far-off look as she took away the last of the dishes from the midday rush. “And so tall… And have you seen him smile? So handsome.”

Hannah tried really hard not to roll her eyes so she focused on her cup of mead instead. This wasn’t the first time, nor the first woman, to wax poetic about the newly-arrived cousin to the Herald. There were plenty of rumors flying about, but outside of the Chantry the most popular topic of conversation was the man’s relationship status. Or lack thereof.

“I’m sure he enjoys using that smile to seduce many women willing to spread their legs for him,” she said with a shrug.

Flissa grimaced. “You don’t have to be so crude.”

“I’m surrounded by assholes all day. I call it self-defense,” Hannah ground out. She leaned in and lowered her voice, “You want to know what that swine Wardell said to me today? He had the gall to tell me that I got an Inquisition post because I did sexual favors for the Commander. On my knees, to be specific.”

Flissa gasped. “He did not!”

“And when I loudly protested, he pretended like I’m an emotional female who’s being terribly dramatic. I had to leave before I jabbed him with my caliper.”

Master Wardell had become a pain in Hannah’s ass the moment he got hired by the Inquisition to help with the workload and lend his reputation to the engineers already working there. Unfortunately, he was an older man who didn’t see women as equally capable creatures and his continuous harassment made working a real chore some days. On those days, Hannah started drinking early.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” Flissa said sympathetically. “More mead?”

“Yes, please.”

The alcohol hummed pleasantly in her veins, though it did little to improve her mood. Flissa was not the greatest conversationalist available, but none of the usual crew was free to keep her company. Perhaps once she finished her cup, she could go bother Krem or Rylen.

The door on the other side of the tavern opened and in came Raphael Trevelyan, caring a dead ram on his shoulders while a large bunch of herbs swung from his belt at the hip. Flissa immediately lit up and turned to attend to him, ignoring Hannah and her quiet groan of annoyance.

“Raphael!” she exclaimed. “How was the hunt?”

The tops of his ears colored a little, but the smile he gave Flissa was radiant. Suddenly Hannah understood why this man had become so popular with the ladies and vowed to herself not to fall for his charms. It would help if she could continue to avoid him, but her cup was nowhere near empty so she couldn’t leave just yet.

“I’m surprised how plentiful the game is in these parts,” he explained in his pleasantly raspy voice. “I had no trouble tracking or killing the ram. I can definitely continue providing you with meat, if you need it. I also found some rosemary and thyme to season your meals.”

“Thank you. You are Maker-sent,” Flissa said and pointed him towards the door behind the bar. “Just take it to the back room and leave it on the kitchen table. Me and my staff will take care of everything else.”

“Of course,” he replied.

Hannah tried her best not to stare after him, but he must have felt her eyes, because he turned in the door frame at the last second and immediately recognized her, his dark eyes brightening with a smile.

 Shit.

As he vanished in the back room, Hannah felt panic settle in her stomach - she somehow knew he’d soon return. Ever since she had learned who he was, she did her best to avoid him, because she also knew she had a weakness for men like Raphael Trevelyan: attractive, attentive, exciting - and willing to move on at a drop of a hat. She could tell he was interested in her, so she had made sure to stay as far away as possible. Unfortunately, she was still trying to down a cup of mead when he returned to the main bar area and moved to lean against the counter next to her.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he intoned while wearing single most approachable expression ever invented. “I’ve been meaning to properly introduce myself. I’m Raphael.”

Hannah pondered the merits of ignoring the outstretched hand and just running away, but the sheer rudeness of such an act went against her upbringing. She grasped his hand and briefly shook it.

“Hannah,” she said with a nod. “I remember you. Last time we met, you were casually lounging on some potatoes.”

The brilliant blush that rapidly painted his face shocked Hannah into staring at him. She wasn’t used to men who blushed. The last time she saw a blushing man she accidentally overheard the Herald inquire about Commander Cullen’s potential vows of chastity, and that was months ago.

“Not my finest moment,” Raphael admitted. “That’s what I get for trying to avoid a stampede of unruly children.”

Hannah chuckled.

“Yeah, they can be a handful sometimes. But they’re good kids, if you properly direct their energy.”

“I’m sure they’re learning loads of fun things, with a teacher like yourself,” he said with a grin.

Hannah frowned. “A teacher?” she asked and then the thought clarified in her head. “Oh! No no no. Teaching children is not my responsibility; that’s Sister Hilda’s job. I occasionally babysit them when there’s nobody else available to make sure nothing horrible happens to them. It usually involves snowball fights and endless games of tag.”

It was his turn to frown. “Oh, I didn’t realize… Sorry! What do you do, then?”

“I’m a part of the engineering team. I design bridges, watchtowers, and the like.”

And the moment of truth had arrived. Hannah watched as Raphael’s brain computed the information she had given him, only to reach a conclusion she knew was coming. When the words finally came out of his mouth, it was almost a relief to hear them.

“I didn’t know women did engineering work.”

To his credit, at least he wasn’t belligerent towards her and didn’t immediately try to invalidate her existence the way Master Wardell usually did. Still, she lost any remaining desire to finish her cup of mead, so she hopped off her stool and gathered her things.

“And yet here I am, defying all expectation,” she bit out. “Pissing off men who feel like I don’t belong.”

He became defensive at once. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Sure you didn’t,” she deadpanned. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Flissa silently signalling her to stop talking, but Hannah had had enough for the day. Perhaps she shouldn’t have chugged all that mead this early in the day, but either way she looked at it, she was done with men and their shenanigans. “Sorry, I’m suddenly not in the mood for a casual conversation. Perhaps you should find Lady Montilyet - she’s much better at appealing to the whimsies of big lords like yourself.”

Raphael’s entire countenance shifted at once, a flash of hurt brightening his eyes before cold fury transformed his handsome features into an angry mask; he was no longer leaning or acting casual.

“I’m not a lord,” he bit out slowly. “Or a part of nobility. I’m simply a man and you’re being unfair to me.”

"Oh, but you are a lord,” she said. “The name 'Trevelyan' trails after you like a particularly bad fart, making it miserable for the rest of us. The Chantry already educated the entire village on how lovely your family is. You won’t fool me.”

She stopped, feeling dizzy. The mead had been stronger than she anticipated and it hit her harder than it should have. The entire situation was getting ridiculous anyway, and beyond saving, so she quickly swiped a hand over her face and turned to go.

“You know what? Forget it,” she said. “I’ll leave before I get in trouble for sassing a noble and you can go on and have yourself a fantastic rest of the day.”

If Raphael had anything else to say, it stayed firmly shut behind his clenched jaw as he glared at Hannah with intense anger. She briefly wondered if she should stay and rile him up into arguing more, but she promptly abandoned the thought. This just wasn’t her day. She left the tavern, hoping to get as far away from the man as she could.

[kagetsukai]

Drops of Satina: Day 3 - Conflicting

Raphael Trevelyan belongs to @out-of-the-embers

Words: 1204 || Read on AO3

Knight-Captain Rylen turned out to be an invaluable source of information.

“The morning drills start at half an hour after the sixth bell - everybody runs a lap around the lake as a warm up. We’re usually back by the time breakfast is ready and we resume afterwards with weapons training until the midday meal. Afternoons are spent in more specialized training or any additional drills that need to be refreshed with new recruits,” he explained, then paused. “Are you sure you’re up for it? You still seem a little malnourished.”

Raphael frowned.

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “I may not be up for a full day of training, but starting with a morning run would do me a world of good.”

“Does the Herald know about this plan of yours?” Rylen asked with a smirk.

Raphael rolled his eyes. “Lily can’t keep me confined forever. I’m not made of glass, I’ll be fine.”

Rylen chuckled. “If you say so! But if she comes after me for this, I’ll send her straight to you.”

“Please do. I’m not exactly afraid of her,” Raphael said with a smirk.

He was going to carry on questioning Rylen, when out of the corner of his eye he noticed movement around the trebuchets. On a closer inspection, he recognized Hannah and Commander Cullen, walking around the equipment and animatedly discussing something, and his mood soured at once.

It pissed him off that even after the unfair berating Hannah had given him at the tavern, he still couldn’t stop thinking about her. In his head he would replay their conversation and come up with new and increasingly more scathing replies to her comments, secretly hoping he would have a future opportunity to use them. Her assumptions had cut him to the core and he wanted her to know how wrong she was. Then he would have a peace of mind and he’d be able to forget her completely.

“Should I leave you to stare after the pretty girl?” Rylen asked with a knowing grin.

Caught doing exactly that, Raphael felt his face warm with embarrassment.

“I’m not staring. I’m just curious what’s happening over there,” he said and tried for a nonchalant shrug.

Rylen raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying the misdirection.

“Well, our dear Hannah is helping Commander Cullen calibrate the trebuchets,” he explained. “It usually ends with them shouting at each other because Cullen likes to do things by the book, while Hannah likes to use some engineering tricks she knows to speed up the process. Nobody likes to be in their immediate vicinity when it all goes down, but it sure makes for a good show.”

Raphael frowned. “Why would she be dealing with military equipment? Isn’t her job to design bridges and watch towers?”

“Because she’s really smart?” Rylen replied, as if that was obvious. “She’s talented with the numbers and knows the kinds of maths I only vaguely heard about. Cullen tries his best not to admit that having her around has cut a lot of his paperwork in half, but she’s been invaluable. Yes, she does design bridges and watch towers, but she’s so much more than that.”

This explanation was a lot more complimentary than Raphael had expected, so he continued glaring in Hannah’s general direction, willing her to do something heinous that would expose the rest of the world to her vile disposition.

“You have something against Hannah?” Rylen asked.

Raphael forced himself to look back at Rylen, though his scowl refused to go away. “She’s a prideful woman filled with prejudices. I can’t say I enjoy her presence,” he said, his tone sour.

Rylen’s eyebrows vanished into his helmet in surprise, closely followed by an outburst of mirth.

“Well, that’s interesting. Let me guess: you said something unsavory towards the lass and she gave you such a thorough what-for that your ancestors felt it,” he said with a wide grin. “What was it? Did you try flirting with her? Or did you discount her work? That tends to get her going pretty quickly.”

The fact that Rylen had such a ready-made comment blew wind out of Raphael’s puffed up sails, his bubbling anger simmering down to a mere annoyance under his skin. He frowned.

“Wait, that happens often?”

A long-suffering sigh escaped Rylen’s mouth as he nodded.

“A lot more than you think,” he said. “You have a young, pretty woman who is sharp as a whip, who works in a field that is still very much dominated by men. I’ve heard plenty of stories of what she had to put up with in the months since she joined the Inquisition. I shudder to think what she dealt with before.”

Raphael crossed his arms and continued glaring. “Maybe if she tried being nicer she wouldn’t have to deal with bullshit,” he quipped, willing himself to stay angry.

“Lad, let me put it to you plain,” Rylen said, his voice going hard. “The first Orlesian noble to show up to ask for help with his roads saw Hannah and decided she’d be perfect as his concubine. He actually tried to buy her from the Inquisition! Then there was some burly asshole from the Bannorn who straight up propositioned her, and when she rebuked him, he threatened to take her by force so he could, and I quote, break her spirit. And I’m sure there are others who made comments that I don’t know about. Frankly, I’m shocked she interacts with any men to begin with; I’d castrate them all on sight.”

No amount of previous hurt or anger could have prepared Raphael for this information. He stared at Rylen for what felt like an eternity, completely gobsmacked, before his mouth regained its function again.

“That’s awful,” he whispered. “I had no idea.”

Rylen shrugged again, though his countenance seemed to soften a little.

“Most people don’t,” he continued. “If she complains, it’s usually to Krem or myself. Flissa from the tavern also gets to hear some of the stories by the fact she provides the alcohol. We try to protect Hannah from the assholes who would mean her harm, but sometimes the only defense she has is that sharp tongue of hers. So if that bothers you so much, don’t tease or taunt her and your pride will remain intact.”

Her heated words rang through Raphael’s head once again, but this time he remembered the tired timbre of her voice and the almost-empty cup of mead that sat on the bar counter next to her. If she had started drinking just past midday, it meant that she had had a terrible day already and his carelessly phrased questions only added fuel to the fire. It still didn’t excuse her biting words, but he now had a better understanding of what had happened that day.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he told Rylen. “It’s not like I plan on being in her path anytime soon.”

Rylen snorted in reply. “It’s a small village, lad. You’ll have to try really hard.”

As Raphael once again glanced towards Hannah, their eyes briefly met and she looked away with a sharp turn of her head, making him feel like the biggest asshole in the world.