2010s Eurovision: 335 - 331
335. Maya Sar - “Korake ti znam” Bosnia & Herzegovina 2012
zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.
Another one of those boring Balkan ballads that takes it’s sweet fucking time to do absolutely nothing. 🙄 Yeah, sure, deep, moving ballad with meaning, I know. However, entertainment comes before any form of investment. Fail to capture my attention with the music / performance and I won’t care for your whatever emotion you’re slinging at me, it’s really that simple, sis!
However, fans of Maya Sar (the four in existence), despair not! she will make a cameo appearance as a whacky piano girl much later in this rankdown 🤗.
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334. Pollapönk - “No Prejudice” Iceland 2014
Damn’ I forgot how annoying Pollapönk were prior to this rewatch. They’re... almost admirably annoying? Sadly, it’s an “almost” for me, because “No prejudice” decided to delve in some really dumbed-down guidance lyrics that make me want to kill them and myself. 🙄 “everybody looks the same on the inside” stands out to me as an immensely stupid tagline for a pro-equality song. Diversity is celebrated by underlining the different, unique quirks every person possesses as strengths, not by erasing them. Politically Correct song FAILS at political correctness!!!
Having said that, this loud manifestation of leftist stupidity earns a few brownie points for me: it’s clearly aimed at children, not adults, which doesn’t excuse the stupidity, but at least explains the styling choices, which DO appeal to children. Also, that dance break is kind of lowkey epic, ngl. A damn’ shame it’s buried inside an entry this subpar 😭
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333. Anti-Social Media - “The way you are”. Denmark 2015
30 seconds of chipper energy, followed by 2.5 minutes of agonizing, life-ending tedium, kick started by terrible chorus that is repeated at least five times during the song. At least “Aina mun pittää” ended before the 90 second mark ,you know? ________________________________________________________________
332. ALEKSEEV - “Forever” Belarus 2018
[2018 Review here]
The premise of ALEKSEEV looked like it held a lot of promises for laughter, but in reality... 😬 It’s not that I dislike ALEKSEEV because I think he’s bad. I dislike him because I feel sorry for him. He clearly still has a few troubling childhood trauma’s he hasn’t fully digested yet, and it leaks into this performance, making it thoroughly unenjoyable for me. I hope he’s living a good life though. Be safe, my Hamletian prince~
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331. TWiiNS - “I’m still alive” Slovakia 2011
AAAAHHH A WILD SLOVAKIA HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING :swats with newspaper:
Nowadays, I mostly cackle when I see TWiiNS’s name, because it reminds me of that Apprentice UK episode where they had to manufacture craft gins and came up with this brand name: (seriously you should all watch TAUK, it’s the best competitive rtv show out there!!)
“It’s pronounced “zheen” because it’s a different type of gin experience :reads pitch off menu: <3”
So do the “Tuweens” provide a different kind of twinbeast experience? Well... sorta? Not a very good one though. 😬 How did this pass a soundmixing test? They sound terrible. Girls what you’re doing, this isn’t Baku. Anyway, if the song weren’t a repetitive ‘Halo’ rip off I might give them some brownie points for the ‘Slovakia in ESC’ factor, but it isn’t so I won’t :)
