#maya yapps

[velvetfangsx]

Me: you need to finish the fics you've already planned.

Also me: what if Bonnie was a heretic and Kai was involved?

Me: you haven't even finished The Vampire Diaries.

Also me: BONNIE HERETIC STORY!!!

The pile of fics I haven't started is now becoming a sentient being. Anyway, adding another one to the list. I clearly have no self-control. LOL.

[velvetfangsx]

I'm literally having the worst time of keeping track of all of my WIPs that I have posted on Tumblr I don't know how?!?. but I'm just having horrible time I feel like if I scroll through my tag I'm going to see so many stories that I have left unfinished that I completely forgot about (thank you adhd) get grossly irritated and absolutely shut down and not to do anything not write anything

I'm having the most crappiest week and it's barely even started!!!

[velvetfangsx]

yapping tag / tvd liveblog (season 2 up to episode 8)

okay so now I’ve watched from season 2 all the way into season 2 episode 8

Mason… so sad. I actually really liked Mason. his whole thing with Tyler was so good and then Damon killing him like that? and Tyler… I feel so bad for him. I didn’t really care about him like that before, but now I actually love Tyler.

and I don’t even know why but I’m so deep into Tyler and Elena as a concept and they haven’t even had real scenes yet 😭 it’s just the idea of it. the potential. the vibe.

but Elena, Stefan, and Damon as a whole. their storyline has just never really been my favorite. I get that the show revolves around them, but I’ve always been way more interested in the other characters. they just feel more compelling to me, like they have so much potential, and those are the characters I naturally gravitate toward more.

my favorites right now are Bonnie, Caroline, and Jeremy. especially in these early seasons.

Bonnie… she’s just sad. like everything about her storyline is sad.

Caroline though?? her transition into being a vampire??? why was she so good at it 😭 like she had that under control so fast compared to everyone else. yeah she had moments like with the nurse and the fair, but overall she handled it way better than expected. even learning compulsion on her own?? she’s actually kind of insane for that.

her relationship with Matt and Damon is also just sad in a different way. and her friendship with Bonnie hurts. because I understand both sides. Bonnie has every reason to feel the way she does, especially with everything she’s lost because of vampires. but at the same time, Caroline didn’t deserve to be treated like that. it’s just sad for both of them.

Katherine… she gets on my nerves but I also get it. what I like about her is that she just is. she does what she wants without restriction. it’s like the complete opposite of who I am, and that’s interesting to watch. I still stand by my no humanity theory about her. and now she’s in the tomb which is very satisfying.

I watched the masquerade ball episode too and now I understand why people talk about it so much.

Bonnie and Jeremy… I actually like the beginning of it. I don’t feel like it came out of nowhere. it feels like Jeremy notices her, like really notices her, and starts liking her from just being around her. like when he asked her to dance and she said no, I don’t know, it felt natural to me.

and I have to say this because it annoyed me: when people say Jeremy becoming a hunter came out of nowhere, I don’t see it. even now he already has that mindset. he wants to protect, he wants to fight vampires, he’s drawn to that world. it feels like the traits were already there before anything official happened.

Caroline and her mom though… that scene hurt so bad. like actually painful. her mom accepting her and then having to forget?? I hated that. it was so sad. I can’t even fully process it. but the fact that she tried to leave something behind for her… yeah, that was a lot.

Lucy Bennett!!! oh my god. I loved her immediately. she’s powerful, she’s confident, and I wanted her and Bonnie to actually have a relationship so badly. like does she even come back?? I don’t even remember. Bonnie deserves family and it feels like she never really gets that on screen the way she should.

and yeah, I’m gonna say it, the way Bonnie’s storyline is handled is frustrating. her grief, her losses, her family… it’s like it’s never given the same weight or space, and it’s noticeable.

also I do see the Bonnie and Damon underlines. like I see where that could go. enemies to lovers type energy building there, even if it’s not fully there yet.

Damon himself… I go back and forth. sometimes I love him, sometimes I don’t. he’s very intense in season 1 and early season 2 so it’s kind of hard to fully settle on him, but I get why I loved him before. it’s starting to come back.

overall though?? I’m having so much fun watching right now. I’m fully back in it.

anyway. excitement.

[velvetfangsx]

This is my yapping tag velvetfangsx tvd. I’m about to yap about what I’m learning while going through The Vampire Diaries. It’s basically me just talking it out as I watch, like a little brain dump in my socks.

If you don’t wanna read it, you can ignore it or block the tag. It’s all the same TVD content anyway, nothing separated or organized.

Anyway, just a quick warning, this is my long yap (not too long),

Hi guys, I'm watching The Vampire Diaries, and boy do I have some thoughts. So, I have a lot of thoughts. I don't really know what to say, but I do have lots of thoughts.

And first off, Damon, gonna like him, this thing with Caroline, I hated it, it was absolutely disgusting to me. I still don't like it. It takes me so long to get over the echohead to actually focus on my Bonnie and Damon, which I absolutely love. I see so much potential for them, I'm loving it.

But I don't understand this, like, Caroline though, like she switched up so fast. Like she used to be a jerk, and then now she's not a jerk, and then so that's kind of confusing.

And you know what hit me so hard was Vicky's death, it's so sad. I wish they could have helped Vicky in another different way, and I don't know why, but I will absolutely never forgive Stefan for Vicky's death. I mean, I guess it's not his fault, but still.

And oh my god, Lexi, amazing character. I loved Lexi. I have to write a fic about her. Loved her. I hated her death, and I hate Damon for that so, so frickin' much.

Also, all of Stefan's secrets against Elena were disgusting, like gave me the ick. I was like ugh, like why are you keeping so many secrets? Literally if you like her, just tell her the truth. And then he broke up with her just to get back with her just to break up with her again. That was so like, pick a side. I guess I get it, but still.

And oh my god, don't even get me started about Jeremy. I am so much on a Jeremy Gilbert kick right now, my god. I love his character, he's so fuckin' hot. So sexy. So nice. So much development. And I love a boy who gets into fights on TV because that is, for some reason, such a cake for me. It's a cake for me when a boy gets into a fight on TV like Jeremy does. Nobody does it better than him. Nobody does it better than him.

I didn't realize how much development he had. His death with Vicky's death was so sad. His relationship with Vicky was amazing. I feel like it needs to be talked about more. I love that relationship. Love that complex.

Currently I think I'm on episode 11 right now, so I'm getting into the Anna, Vicky, Anna, Jeremy stuff. I don't really know how I feel about the relationship yet. To be fair, I never really paid attention to it as I was watching that. Like at all. I didn't really pay attention to it. Like ever. I don't know, it was just never really my thing.

But I will tell you, now that I've started fanfics that I've had for inspiration because love watching, I’m definitely in a writing spiral.

So, Stelena. Definitely a Stelena. Oh my god. Can't even stop myself.

A fic about Damon and Bree's relationship in the past because that needed to be explored way more. A fic about Lexi and Stefan because oh my god that was amazing. They should have dated. Like that should have been his girl, are you kidding me? A fic about Lexi and Damon.

I'm just so irritated by Lexi's death, I don't know what to do.

Lots of Caroline and Jeremy fixes.

So if I'm taking a break, if it seems like I'm not writing like my originals fics or my Klaus and my Kol and my other fics, it's because right now I'm on a Vampire Diaries kick. So I probably won't be writing for The Originals, like the Michaelsons or anything, until I get to them in those seasons because my inspiration is coming as I'm watching the show.

[velvetfangsx]

tvd liveblog (episodes 16–17)

okay I am now on episode 16 and wow I have thoughts.

first off, my poor Matt. I am actually falling in love with his character. there’s something about him that’s just genuinely soft and kind and it’s making me way more invested in him than I expected. and him with Caroline. at least in the beginning it’s really cute.

but where the fuck is Bonnie? she basically disappeared after her grams’ death and nobody is checking on her or even really mentioning her and it’s honestly starting to frustrate me. it feels like she just got dropped from the group for no reason and it’s really noticeable.

I can kind of see hints of Delena building, but I’m not fully there yet. I know I’ll probably end up there eventually because it happened last time I watched, but right now I’m still kind of in that in-between stage.

Damon’s attitude, I do like it I guess. it’s very bad boy, very chaotic, but at the same time I feel like he still hasn’t really grown that much yet. he’s entertaining, but I’m not fully sold on him in a deeper way yet.

Stefan with human blood though… that’s just a little taste of the Ripper showing through, so yeah. people say that the Ripper storyline was meant to push Elena toward Damon and I get that, it definitely plays into it, but at the same time the subtext was always kind of there anyway.

a few thoughts on Anna and Jeremy: I don’t really like it. it feels more like Jeremy coping with Vicky’s death than actual love. his whole motivation still feels tied back to her and what happened to her. it doesn’t really feel like Anna is his soulmate or anything, more like a grief relationship than a real one.

Jeremy wanting to be turned because of his parents and Vicky… it just feels kind of self-destructive. like it’s coming more from depression and loss than actual desire or love.

and the end of episode 17 is actually so sad. finding out more about Vicky had me genuinely upset, like I was actually sitting there just feeling it. Jeremy’s whole situation with her just hurts more the further it goes on.

I also feel a bit weird about Matt and Elena. like it’s iffy for me because he’s with Caroline, so it just adds this awkward layer to it. it’s not that I hate it, it just feels complicated in a way I don’t fully know how to place yet.

overall I just feel really bad for Jeremy. like actually sad for him. everything he’s been going through is just loss after loss and it’s starting to hit me more than I expected.

and Matt… poor Matt too. he’s just kind of caught in everything and I feel like he’s always the one getting emotionally dragged through it all without anyone really noticing.

I hate that I kind of like Alaric because I don’t like the actor, but the character is actually good. I really like his dynamic with Jeremy though.

[velvetfangsx]

I was thinking about this today, and I realized I almost never make posts about the parents in TVD.

I don't really write about Esther. I don't really write about isobel. I don't really write about Lily tbh I don't write metas about almost any of the parents who caused massive harm to their kids.

Part of that is because I have such a fucked up relationship with both of my parents. I end up seeing so much of my own experiences reflected in those parent-child dynamics that it's hard for me to separate the characters from my own life. I'm still struggling to forgive my own parents, so when I watch these characters, I have a hard time understanding them or meeting them with sympathy, even when the story is trying to explain where they're coming from or show that, in their own minds, they cared.

I know I come into those discussions with a very biased lens, Whenever fandom starts talking about why they did what they did or tries to explain their motivations not there is anything wrong with that, I just... can't meet those characters halfway. My brain won't let me. Once I see a parent who hurt their child, I have a very hard time feeling sympathy for them, even if the writing wants me to. Because of that, I tend to avoid writing about them altogether. They rarely show up in my fanfics, I don't really write metas about them, and I usually steer clear of those discussions because I know my own experiences affect the way I read those characters.

It's something I've been thinking about today. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to recognize your own bias. If anything, I'd rather admit it tbh than pretend I'm looking at those characters objectively when I know I'm not at least for my sake

[velvetfangsx]

if I’m writing a female character paired with a Mikaelson she is slapping them at least once apparently it’s a constant theme in my fics and I only just vividly realized it. genuinely such a power move every single time

[velvetfangsx]

tvd liveblog (episodes 18–22 / season 1 finale)

okay so now I’ve finished the rest, like episode 18 through 22 (or 21, whatever it is), and I am upset. like actually upset.

first of all, I don’t really remember episode 18 that well, I’m gonna be honest but the Founders Ball / Miss Mystic stuff is where I started locking back in.

I love Jenna and Alaric’s relationship. it’s so cute, so romantic, and she deserved that. it actually makes me sad knowing what happens to her later because I remember that and I hate it.

and now I remember why I fell in love with Damon’s character. I am not just starting to like him, I love him again. when he apologized to Jeremy? that was so sweet. and when they were protecting him? also really sweet. it was sad too, but I actually loved seeing that side of him.

what I didn’t like about the Miss Mystic Falls episode was Stefan and that whole thing with that girl. it just felt like cheating. I know it technically wasn’t cheating, but it felt like cheating. the vibe was off.

and Damon with Elena, I didn’t really see any spark there in that moment. I could kind of see it from Damon’s side, like the “oh she’s beautiful” thing, but from Elena’s side it really just felt like she was worried about Stefan.

but what Stefan did with that girl was just weird. like we know blood is basically… yeah. even if it wasn’t fully consensual, it still felt uncomfortable and I did not like the vibe at all.

his recovery was good though. I guess it strengthened their relationship.

and now I’m at that point where I love Damon again. he’s still himself, still has that attitude, but now he’s more on the good side. like morally gray, but in a way I can actually enjoy.

also I love Pearl. I love her character. Anna’s mom is so good. she was a good mother and what she wanted made sense. I really liked her.

episode 21 with Isobel though… I didn’t really like it. it just felt kind of pointless to me. like whose fault even is that? she just left her daughter. I know she chose to turn, but it still feels messed up.

and now Bonnie.

I do not understand and I never have understood how Bonnie was treated like the bad guy here. she did what she was taught was right. her grandmother died helping vampires. she had every right to be angry.

and she literally said multiple times that she wasn’t mad at Elena, she just didn’t like Stefan and Damon. which is completely fair.

and then she’s barely shown in the Miss Mystic episode? that annoyed me so much. it feels like her grief is barely acknowledged at all. like not even surface level. it’s just brushed past.

she was gone for so many episodes and then she comes back and is just expected to be okay with everything? no. I agree with her. she had every right to want to take Damon down. and even then she still saved them because she knows Elena loves them. that whole situation just frustrates me every time.

also Jeremy. I don’t understand why people call him a brat for being upset. if someone took my memories of the person I loved, I would be mad too. he didn’t even get to properly mourn Vicky. repressing that kind of thing doesn’t help. it just makes everything worse later. and then Anna died. I didn’t really love their relationship, but that was still sad. and then he took the pills…

and at the Founders’ Day parade, I did not like how Damon went at Jeremy for feeling that way. he is literally entitled to his feelings.

like if he’s mad at Elena for taking something from him that was not hers to take in the first place, he has every right to be mad. Jeremy doesn’t owe Elena anything in that moment. I like her, but still, he didn’t owe her understanding or forgiveness right away.

Jeremy is just sad. like genuinely sad. his entire story is just loss after loss and it hurts to watch because I actually really like him.

okay and also I need to say this because Tyler with Matt’s mom is insane. like actually insane. I feel so bad for Matt. when they found out Vicky was dead that literally broke my heart. my poor Matt. I love him now, he is officially a new blorbo for me. I love Matt so much. everything that’s happened to him is just so sad. his sister, his own mom… it’s horrible. I hated it. I don’t even fully know how to feel about the mom because it’s like… I don’t know. but still. poor Vicky. poor Matt. poor Jeremy. all of it is just sad.

but there were actually some lighter moments in these episodes too and I don’t want to forget those because it wasn’t all just pain.

I’m at the end of the season now. Caroline’s in the hospital. Tyler is starting to change a bit.

I have to watch more tomorrow.

also the reason I made two blogs today is because it’s Sunday and I literally spent the whole day watching The Vampire Diaries and writing fanfic in between episodess