I literally can’t stop writing angst. I’m such a sucker for pain. 🙃
Warning(s): angst, language
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“Please don’t do this.” Angel grip on her shoulders tightened, any attempt to pull her from the shell she retreated into. He worked years to decimate those walls and it only took mere minutes to rebuild stronger than ever. She was shutting him out. Her eyes glazed over, the usual sparkle absent, the permanent crease held in her frown. Angel wasn’t ready for the talk that lied ahead of them.
“Please don’t cry. I hate to see you cry.” His voice shook knowing what was to come.
She couldn’t breathe, his proximity left her claustrophobic. She closed her eyes and sighed,
“All I wanted was for you to be happy.” Pulling away from his grasp, she couldn’t think straight when he was touching her. This man made her heart race and relax all in the same heartbeat, but at this particular moment, dread began to weasel its way under her skin, embedded into her veins.
“I just didn’t realize I wasn’t the girl for the job. How long did you think she would remain your little side secret, huh?’ Angel knew he was in for it now.
“Let’s start simple, what’s her name?” Fresh tears pooled in her eyes as she finally brought herself to meet his. She was asking questions unsure if she was really ready to accept the consequences.
“Adelita, I met her through club business. She’s the leader of a rebel organization, Los Olvidados. They’re rebelling against the Galindo Cartel, I can’t explain much further, unfortunately.” Angel wanted her to have full control of this conversation, so he decided to only answer what was asked of him, for the first time in his life. He would live to regret this memory with her, tainting not only this night, but their entire relationship.
“Do you have feelings for her?”
He paused, hesitant on how to proceed. This was his defining point. “It’s complicated, Y/N. I’m attracted to her, yes, but nothing happened.” She released a dry chuckle, rolling her eyes in the process. This would have brought her much needed comfort if she hadn’t spoken to his brother, EZ about the recent changes in Angel’s behavior. EZ tried to cover for his brother but in the end, he wasn’t known to be an excellent liar.
“So, just to clear this up, you didn’t kiss her the other day on your mystery run?”
Shit, he prepared himself to come clean but not for Y/N to already be aware of how deep the situation was. There was no use in lying to her anymore.
“But it was enough to leave you wanting more, right?”
“I don’t know, baby. I’m so confused. My heart chooses you, but my mind wanders back to her.”
Fresh tears cascaded down, she wasn’t well equipped with how to handle the gaping hole enveloping her chest, metaphorically speaking. Y/N craved to be alone, to disappear, and just process.
“Please- just go. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear from you, just please leave me alone. At least for the time being.”
Angel wasn’t sure if four years of his life had finally slipped from his reach. After all, this was a sheer reminder of his many fuck-ups, the infamous troubled Reyes. Angel agreed, approaching her slowly placing a quick kiss to her forehead. He couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the last time. Just as he reached the door, Angel turned her direction; “I wish I didn’t have these feelings, but I do. No matter what happens, you’ve always felt like home to me.” She kept her stare anywhere but on Angel, crumbling into a million tiny pieces. As Y/N walked back to their shared bedroom, she momentarily forgot about the little blue stick sitting on the counter. Positive. This must had been the universe’s idea of a fucked-up joke except there was no laughter. Y/N fell to the ground, sitting on the cold tile floor. She just needed time to think, she chanted repeatedly. Clutching her lower stomach and looking down at her belly, she softly whispered;” I won’t lose you, too.” Though she might have lost Angel’s affections, she smiled for the first time all evening thinking of the tiny life growing inside her. She needed to keep fighting.
