Open Your Heart To Me • Jax
Jax had been going through a hard time since Tara left. It wasn’t the heart break anymore or even the disappointment he felt when he thought about his personal failures in the relationship, it was how completely and utterly alone he felt. On one hand, he felt it was for the best. Him being lonely meant no more disappointment, for him or his children. At this point he was so sick of seeing his kids hurt, like any father would be, but it hurt more knowing that it was his bad decision making when it came to women that was the root cause.
You and Jax were best friends when you two were in diapers together and as you got older not much had changed. You two always had feelings for one another but the issue was always timing. Whether it was Jax dating his bimbo of the week or chasing after Tara, it just never seemed like the right time for the two of you. For him, it had more to do with the fact that you were just so precious to him. Your friendship meant more to him than almost anything in the world so to put that in jeopardy for a relationship that had the possibility of ending in heartbreak was unconscionable.
It had become pretty normal for you to come over to Jax’s at night. You would leave work, go to your place, take a shower, grab your overnight bag, and head over to his house. It was almost like you guys were married without the sex (which you were a little disappointed about). It started as you volunteering your time to help Jax out with the boys. He had been relying heavily on Gemma but you knew she wanted to spend time with Nero and you understood her desire to spend time with a man she cared about. After all, thats how you were about Jax. You also felt that it was important for the boys to see a familiar face, Jax really dove in headfirst into club life when Tara left and he wasn’t home a lot, when he was he was physically there but his mind was on a million other things. The boys had really gotten attached to you and you enjoyed spending time with them.
You spent the night one night, much to the delight of the boys. Jax had called to say he wouldn’t be back home until later in the night and to make yourself at home. Which was pointless to say as it pretty much was your home at this point. You had just fallen asleep after watching TV on the couch when you felt a little hand on your cheek. You opened your tired eyes to see Thomas with tears in his.
“What’s wrong, baby?” You asked, opening your arms for him.
He climbed into your arms and snuggled into chest, “I had a bad dream.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked him, rubbing his back in the small circles that used to always soothe him when he was a tiny baby.
You felt him shake his head ‘no’.
“Well how about this, you lay down with me and let’s watch cartoons until you feel better.”
You waited for a response until you realize that Thomas had already fallen asleep. You smiled softly, kissing his forehead as you turned the TV back on and put on cartoons anyway. You settled back on the couch, still holding Thomas and allowing yourself to drift off again.
Jax opened the door after a long day. He saw your car in the driveway when he pulled up and it made his heart a little lighter to know you were there. As he stepped into the threshold he felt himself get a little weak. You holding Thomas, fast asleep. He slowly took of his shoes and set them by the door, padding over the sofa softly so he didn’t disturb either of you. Jax just watched you both for a moment, marveling at how natural this was, how comfortable this felt. You must have felt him watching you because you opened your eyes.
“Hey. Let me take him to bed.” Jax said, picking Thomas up without causing the boy to stir.
You rubbed your eyes, feeling a little delirious from being woken up by the second time by one of the Teller boys.
Jax came back into the room, a strange look on his face.
“Alright, I guess I’ll head out.” You said, standing to gather your things.
“Wait,” Jax said, looking unsure of himself. “Can I just hold you for a little while?”
You couldn’t find the words so you just nodded ‘yes’.
Jax came closer and enveloped you in his arms. You two had hugged before but this was different. It felt like you two weren’t just physically connected but connected on a level that hadn’t even been fully realized yet so there wasn’t even a name for it yet.
Jax presses his lips to the top of your head, inhaling the pure smell of you that lingered there, “I love you.”
Like the hug, the words had been said between the two of you before, the I love you that was shared between friends who had taken their first steps together in Gemma’s front yard. But you heard the deeper meaning in the words.
He moved back, capturing your hand in his, to sit on the couch. You sat as well, wrapping your arms around each other again.
As Jax held you, he knew that you two had things to discuss, but for the first time in a while he felt that he could open his heart again.
