I have a love hate relationship with my body…

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I have a love hate relationship with my body…
damn
growing up in Thought Crime Christianity as someone with OCD then discovering the Buddhist teachings of "You are not your thoughts" kinda hits different
What my friend sent me
POV
When you're scrolling through your favorite characters tag and see all the amazing fanart:
small rant
I really want a relationship sometimes but also I don’t. I don’t have commitment issues, I’ve never have struggled with committing to things but sometimes I just want a friendship where we just kiss every now and then and flirt, no hard feelings or anything too crazy yk? I know a lot of people hate having casual situations-ships but it honestly doesn’t even seem that bad, or atleast the ones that I’ve been in the past weren’t horrible for me personally. I know it’s different for everyone and everyone has their different opinions and wants for relationships, but for me I don’t find it that horrible to put myself thru a situation-ship.
I just like the thought of being able to touch and flirt with someone romantically but not have to be too closed off? or be in a relationship. I don’t mean this in a way where “I don’t want a closed off relationship because I wanna talk to multiple people”, no. I just like the way I feel while flirting with anyone, that sounds easy but I promise I’m not.. I just wanna flirt with someone and not be on a leash for every little thing I do.
i be like a dragon hoarding a pile of golden dopamine the way i let my tumblr notifs build over the day without checking