#mcevilspawn

[surgeonsoath]

GEORGE O’MALLEY paged @mcevilspawn

His eyes felt heavy despite his eyes being shut. His whole body ached and gradually as he became more aware, the pain increased. His face felt swollen and bruised but he recognised that it felt less so than straight after his accident. He frowned a little, although his face barely moved. He was shocked he could remember that feeling. But he had remembered his name, his nickname more specifically. He had written it in Meredith’s hand. He mentally began to check in with his body. Each limb felt bruised, broken, painful. As he focused on his hand he could feel warmth there. 

He wondered how long he had been asleep for. His eyes opened slowly, bleary eyed as he looked around the room. His eyes settled on a figure by his bed, the source of the warmth in his hand because said person was holding his, their head bowed. George swallowed thickly and smacked his lips together a bit before he tried to speak. 

All that came out of his mouth was a groan. His mouth was too dry to be able to talk. He needed water. He hoped that his noises would alert his visitor. 

[mctwcsty]

[continued from here]

@mcevilspawn

Alex sat at the fire legs crossed with his joggers and hoodie as the crackles from the fire was enough to keep him warm. As he heard the words that she had said so often since the accident, he sighed and lifted his arm up to put around her shoulder and spoke softly. "Then..." He let out another sigh. He was always careful what he answered with since he knew he could come off as harsh. "You will be strong for Zola and Bailey, and I will be there for you when you aren't strong" he stated. The words caught Alex off guard. Of course he already saw the signs- you did when you worked in Peds, but hearing her say it was still a surprise right now. His head turned to look at Meredith and he stayed quiet for a moment as their gazes locked before she looked back to the fire. "Right.." he said before turning back to look at the flames again. Under different circumstances his response would have been 'about time you told me..' but he knew he was not the person she wanted to be telling.

     MEREDITH WAS AWARE THAT SHE JUST kept repeating herself, and Alex was kind and patient enough to always come up with a response. It did not make her feel better, nothing could about thinking of Derek never waking up. But having Alex by her side and knowing she and the kids could count on him was everything. She was so very grateful for his presence and help. But it was not just about Zola and Bailey. It was about the unborn child currently growing inside her uterus, that might never get to meet their father. And that left Meredith completely paralyzed and freaked out. And broken. 

     Feeling Alex’s grip around her shoulders loosen as he turned to look at her, their gaze meeting for a moment, Meredith felt her stomach flip. She looked back at the fire after a moment, feeling like now that Alex knew, it was all too real. It could never go normal. Her first pregnancy, she had miscarried after Derek had been shot and she had told the shooter to shoot her instead of her best friend operating on her husband. Then a hostile uterus leading to adopting Zola. Then surprise pregnancy with Bailey, ending up with her nearly dying from a c-section in the dark with a post-fall internal bleed. And now she was pregnant again, and Derek might never wake up from coma after a bad car accident. Why couldn’t their lives just be normal for once? Stupid dark and twisty karma.

     Alex’s short one word response left Meredith glancing his way again. “I’m serious, Alex,” she said. “I’m pregnant. 10 weeks.” She stared at him, her voice a little snappy, as though annoyed that he did not seem to take her seriously, until she read his response differently. “Oh,” she muttered, leaning back slightly. “You knew it already, didn’t you.” And that realization left her even more paralyzed. 

[mctwcsty]

"I've never seen you like this before... You know I'm here for you right?" Alex ❤️

@mcevilspawn:

“YOU KNOW,” MEREDITH SIGHED, falling into her seat before looking up to Alex, eyebrow raised. “I held an explosive bomb, I drowned, I was in a plane crash, I got beat up, and a stupid virus has me hardly making it from the kitchen to the backyard without being completely out of breath.” Meredith shook her head, sighing. 

[mctwcsty]

🎵

@mcevilspawn requested 🎵  : “You just learn how to let go” ( Broken - Patrick Watson )

     “WHAT IF HE NEVER WAKES UP,” Meredith muttered, sitting on the floor by the fireplace, staring at the flames. She remembered years ago, laying in that very spot, in a bed Derek had thrown together on the floor for their honeymoon after their supposed wedding that they had ended up giving to Alex and Izzie instead. It felt like a lifetime ago now. She swallowed thickly, the words burning her lips. She could not look him in the eyes, her gaze was stuck on those flames. But the words needed to come out. “I’m pregnant.” A silence followed, and Meredith felt a weight in her stomach as the words echoed, her arms wrapping tighter around herself, around that heavy blanket she had wrapped around her. That heavy, ugly blanket that happened to be Derek’s favorite and without whom she could not sleep anymore, even though she absolutely hated that blanket. It had been their honeymoon bed by the fire blanket, actually. After a moment, Meredith’s head turned away from the flames in Alex’s direction and she looked at him sitting beside her, and she gulped thickly as their gaze locked. And then she turned her head back towards the fire and stared at the flames again, remaining silent. Her heart feeling so heavy.