John meets the "best boy" and words ensue
The Beatles are bored on the set of "A Hard Day's Night" and John is always a handful when he is bored. A short one-shot fiction based on the photo.
*** In short order, Paul was rolling his perfect eyes as Lennon found a way to harass Derek for fully ten minutes.
"You're the BEST Boy?" John had exclaimed, his eyes rounding in pretend shock. "How do you know? Who told you? You know, I've been asking around for years, 'Who's the best boy? Is it me? Is that bloke behind the bar giving a perfect head to a pint? Is it that artistic bloke from school giving a perfect head to a pinto?' I asked me mum -- 'Mummy,' I said, 'Am I the 'best boy'? -- She shrugged and admitted I was alright for a small pet but she didn't know who the 'best boy' was. My Auntie wouldn't say, either, but she is known for her lack of taste...what does a 'best boy' taste like, anyway, Derek?"
Paul had shaken his head with a theatrical sigh toward Derek. "Sorry. You've given him words to play with, Derek, and so play he must." Still, having made an excuse for him, he gave John a speaking look, meant to warn him off.
Lennon didn't take the hint. For one thing, he was a little annoyed at Paul. For another, he felt like he was on a roll, and yet again, he was feeling oddly compulsive in the way he sometimes would, when old insecurities were being triggered in his subconscious mind. He couldn't have stopped if he wanted to. He was like a radio set for the 'Scorn channel' and unable to be turned off. "Did your Mummy tell you that you were the 'best boy' Derek? I bet she did, dinn't she? I bet every night she'd put you to bed and say that you were the 'best boy, the loveliest nookem-snookem of a lad ever blew breath in England' before she kissed your chubby cheeks and cheeked your chubby chub. Can you imagine, Macca," he turned to Paul, "having to live up to that?"
The look he got back plainly said, "Stop it, now, John. Don't mock a working lad or I'll say something you won't like."
John smirked back at it. "Alright, Derek-the-Best-Boy, I can see Paulie doesn't like me teasing you, but let me ask, how does one get to be a 'best boy' anyway? Is there an audition? Do you get into a room with a lot of other boys and show what you can do? Do you wank off until someone decides whose 'best' at it? You know, I think I secretly always wanted to be a 'best boy...how 'bout you, Macca? Remember when we would all be in a circle with Bardot on our minds?'" *** READ THE REST OF IT HERE AT AO3
