There’s a white quill stuck in my hand
Through the middle of my palm—nailed
With blood slowly dripping whilst inked red
On my pale tattered skin—written and etched:
Words as to why I did,
And to how I did
Words of regret for why I killed
And how well this body is hid
Words for you not to grieve,
Along with my gentle goodbye
And finally, words of I—longing
For a grave you’ll never find
You never thought you’d see him again—
The little boy who had taken your happiness with him
When he left this earth and left you behind
But here he was in front of you, Halloween bucket in hand
And the biggest, most charming smile on his face
Thinking logically, it really couldn’t be
But you couldn’t help but ask
“Marcus? Is that you?”
The boy simply smiled again, shouting
“Trick or treat! Happy Halloween!”
You presented your candy bowl to the child
Wanting to find out how similar they could be
He picked out the Snickers, Marcus’s favorite
“Is it true? Could it really be you?”
He simply giggled, starting to turn away
“I love you, ate! It’s not gonna be
Ouchy anymore, promise! Don’t cry, okay?”
You heard him say as he walked away
And you remembered how Marcus had whispered
Those words just before his eyes closed
“I hope you rest in peace, Eri. I am never going to find a friend like you.” Aela whispered in her best friend’s grave before walking away.
They were best friends. They were inseparable.
Aela and Eri had been together since preschool. They grew up doing all things together. First heartbreak, first failed test, driving lessons, high school fights, name it. Each other’s ride or die, if that’s what you called it.
Whenever they fought, they always found a way to make up and talk it out because they both knew they could never survive life without each other. That was their routine until Theo came—the guy who ruined their almost perfect ten-year friendship.
Aela and Eri both liked Theo, but neither of them knew until Eri started acting differently towards Theo. Aela noticed that Eri had stopped joining her for lunch because she would go to the music room just to hear Theo play the guitar. Eri also stayed at school until 7pm just to keep him company because Theo’s mom picked him up late. The thing was, that had been Aela’s spot before—Eri’s lunch companion and “late night at school” buddy. But all of that was stolen from her, and many more.
“I can’t stand the two of them, I need to do something.” Aeri had this thought in her head while she was observing Eri and Theo inside the music room. “Seems like that guy caught feelings for her too, huh?”
After classes, she told Eri that she liked Theo. That day, Eri was also planning on telling her best friend about her feelings for Theo but Aela did it first. When she saw how her best friend’s eyes sparkled when she told her that she liked Theo, she decided to distance herself from Theo and let go so they wouldn't fight over it. But that’s where Eri was wrong. Theo liked her too, so much.
Days passed and Aela and Eri went back to their normal routine. Eating lunch together and staying at school until the sun was no longer up. They were inseparable again, until Theo decided to ask Eri why she was avoiding him. Aela was there, watching them. She saw how they cared for each other. “I lost, didn't I?” Aela thought and smirked.
“Aela I am really sorry, I really am, I tried to—” Aela stopped Eri from explaining everything that escalated in front of her and told Eri that it was okay, that it was not a big deal. “I want to assure you that it is fine with me, how about a picnic in the grounds just across our school like the old times, are you free?” Eri smiled genuinely and nodded her head, not knowing what was ahead.
After school, the two best friends really did go and have a picnic. They were laughing and telling each other stories about their day. Eri did not realize that the sun was already out until it started getting cold.
“Aela, I think we should go home, we can continue this in our house!”
Aela hummed in response, “How about we take a nap here first? I don’t really like going home. Everything in there stresses me out.” Eri knew. She knew “everything” Aela was carrying, so she said yes to her best friend’s idea and really took a nap.
Suffocated. Eri opened her eyes and felt the heavy weight on her chest. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. Everything was restricting her from doing so.
“I hope you rest in peace, Eri. I am never going to find a friend like you.” Aela whispered in her best friend’s grave before walking away.
The rain started falling and Aela heard small cries for help.
---------
“Aela! Are you there? What are you doing in the bathroom again? It’s been a year, please stop with this nonsense!” She is here. She is in the corner of my room again. Eri is here.
“Stop writing about your dead best friend and start moving on, it won’t get you anywhere.” My mom said, I cried not knowing what to do.
“She never leaves me alone. She’s here! Why won’t you believe me?” I desperately answered.
Rewriting our story was the least I could do. This was probably a punishment to me. I buried my soul with her.
It had been a year indeed. But she still followed me around. My best friend, Eri.
Still in the corner of my room.
Eri smiled and whispered, "Together forever, Aela."
Buong gabi akong nasa labas
Naghahanap-buhay para sa aking pamilya
Mula ala sais ng gabi,
Hanggang ala sais din ng umaga
Kauuwi ko lang mula sa aking pinanggalingan,
Nang dumating din ang aking asawang minamahal
Sa kamay niya’y isang baso ng paborito niyang inumin,
Strawberry juice na may ekstrang asukal
Nagkwentuhan kami saglit,
Hanggang oras na upang mag-almusal
Nagluto ako ng puto’t dinuguan
Nagtimpla rin ng kapeng ipapares sa pan de sal
Ngunit asa’n nga ba ang pan de sal?
Nakalimutan kong bumili!
Dali-dali akong lumabas
Magwawala ang aking mga anak ‘pag walang pan de sal.
Hindi ko napansin sa aking paglabas,
Naghihiyawan pala ang aking mga kapit-bahay
Dumiretso kasi ako sa panaderya,
Nagmamadaling bumili ng pan de sal na mainit-init pa
Pauwi na ako nang aking mahalata,
Bakit walang tao sa aming eskinita?
Mga mata ko’y nanlaki nang aking mapagtanto
Kalahati lang pala ako nang lumabas ng aming bahay
Kaya pala nanginginig ang kamay ng panadero
Habang iniaabot sa’kin ang supot ng tinapay
Kaya pala nag-iinit at parang nag-aapoy sa sakit ang aking likuran,
Isa nga pala akong manananggal.
Meandering the days on autopilot
Nothing is unique, consistently the equivalent of death
Being undead, never with inspiration
Feeling drowsy under the harsh glare of the sun
Longing for something to fulfill this specific craving of mine
Is it cerebrums? Or then again, is it tissue?
On the other hand, am I searching for something else?
Something to save me from these long stretches of meandering
In any case, there is not a thing to be found
Until the sun begins to go down the skyline
Thus, the scary night has begun
My mind awakens and comes to life
Turning out to be more vivacious and roused
To do something creative and bold during the night
Searching for a purpose for my existence
To leave something behind before I diminish
However, regardless of why
It occurs around evening time with next-to-no excuse
I become homicidal under the glow of the moon
Searching for my next prey
Quenching my thirst as thoughts race through my mind
Hoping this feeling will carry on to the next day
Though when the night ends and a new day begins
I'm back to autopilot again under the sun
Parating na naman ang dilim. Ayon sa mga matatanda, iba’t ibang nilalang ang naghahasik ng lagim sa ganitong oras. Bata, matanda, kahit na sino man ay hindi nangangahas na lumabas ’pag sumapit na ang gabi dahil ‘pag ika’y nahuli, baka iyon na raw ang huling araw mo.
Ilang taon nang paniniwala na sa tuwing lumalabas ang buwan, nagsisimula nang lumitaw ang mga engkanto’t aswang dito sa baryo. Kaya tuwing uuwi rito sa probinsya, palagi kong iniiwasang abutin ng dilim sa daan dahil sa panganib na nakaabang.
Ngunit isang gabi, nang pauwi na sana ako sa aming tahanan, ‘di ko namalayang napadpad na pala ako sa ibang baryo. Nadaanan ko pa rin naman ang palatandaan kong poste ng ilaw, kaso hindi ko napansing marami pa palang kamukha ang posteng iyon.
Hindi pamilyar ang mga kalsada at wala na rin namang mapagtatanungan dahil nasa loob na ng kanilang mga nakakandadong tahanan ang mga tao rito. Habang bumababa ang araw, lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Hindi ako mapakali. Parami na rin nang parami ang naririnig ko sa paligid. May alulong ng mga aso, mga kumakaluskos na kahoy, at tunog ng mga dahon na tinatangay ng hangin. Unti-unti ring lumalamig ang simoy ng hangin, kasabay ng pagtindig ng aking mga balahibo.
Patuloy lang akong naglakad, hinahanap ang daan pauwi, bumubulong sa sarili na hindi sana ako gulatin ng mga aswang o kung ano mang halimaw na nakatago sa dilim. Paminsan-minsa’y bumibigkas din ako ng “tabi-tabi po!” dahil dagdag proteksyon daw ito, ayon sa matatanda.
Pakiramdam ko’y ilang oras na akong naglalakad ngunit parehong daan pa rin ang aking natatanaw. ‘Di ko maaninag ang palatandaan kong poste ng ilaw. Tanging kalsada, at mga gubat sa paligid lang ang aking nakikita.
Hinahagilap ko pa rin ang aming baryo nang bigla akong nakarinig ng paghuni. Tila ba inaakit ako nito papalapit sa kanya.
Sinubukan kong hindi ito pansinin, ‘pagkat baka ito na nga ang sinasabi ng mga matatanda; baka ito na ang mga engkantong nakaabang sa mga gubat. Ngunit kahit anong pagpigil sa sarili, wala akong magawa kundi lumapit at alamin kung saan ito nanggagaling.
Sinundan ko lang ang tunog papunta sa gubat. Lalong lumakas ang kabog ng aking dibdib. Napadpad ako sa ilalim ng isang malaking puno, at dito, natagpuan ko ang nilalang na mukhang babae ngunit may nakasisilaw na liwanag. Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Kakaripas na sana ako ng takbo papalayo ngunit unang hakbang pa lang, bumagsak na agad ako sa lupa.
Nang tumingala ako, nakita kong palapit na nang palapit ang maliwanag na nilalang sa akin.
“Siguro ito na ang katapusan ko,” bulong ko sa aking sarili habang nakapikit.
Biglang tumigil ang nilalang at unti-unti kong naaninag ang kanyang itsura. Balat niya’y napakakinis at tila kumikinang. Ang mga mata niya’y nagniningning. Hindi naman pala katakot-takot ang itsura ng mga engkantong kinatatakutan ng lahat.
Matapos mamangha sa taglay niyang ganda, bumalik bigla ang takot sa akin, at nagmakaawang ‘wag niya sana akong saktan. ‘Di ko alam kung naiintindihan niya ako, ngunit bigla niya akong tinalikuran at nagsimula siyang maglakad patungo sa ibang direksyon.
Nakahinga ako bigla nang maluwag.
Lalayo na sana ako mula sa malaking puno nang makita ko ang dinaanan ng kumikinang na nilalang. Lahat ng mga patay na dahon dito ay nabuhay muli at bumalik sa mga puno. Ang mga bulaklak na lanta ay napuno ulit ng kulay.
Imbis na lumayo, lalo akong naintriga sa kakayahan ng nilalang na ito, at sinubukan ko siyang sundan. Sa patuloy niyang paglalakad sa gubat, patuloy ring nabubuhay ang mga patay at lantang halaman.
Wala pang isang oras, nakabalik na ako sa kalsada, nakita ko na rin ang poste ng ilaw na palatandaan ko pauwi sa aming tahanan. Paglingon kong muli sa engkanto, biglang nawala na lamang ito na parang bula.
“Tinulungan lang ba talaga ako ng engkantong iyon?” Tanong ko sa aking sarili.
Hindi ako makapaniwalang sa dami ng maaaring tumulong sa akin no’ng gabing iyon ay mahiwagang nilalang pa talaga. Akalain mo ‘yon? Ilang taon kong pilit na iniiwasan ang kadiliman dahil sa takot sa kung ano mang nagtatago rito, pero hindi naman pala lahat ng mga pananakot ng mga matatanda ay totoo.
Parating na naman ang dilim. Ayon sa mga matatanda, iba’t ibang nilalang ang naghahasik ng lagim, ngunit sa aking karanasan, ‘di naman pala lahat ay masama tulad ng iniisip natin.
