#me when i write

[coolmaycroft]

Heavenly Delusion, ch. 60

[cmondonut]

DUNGEON CRAWLER CARL x READER chat excerpt(?)

chat excerpt? text au? text fic? if there’s a term for this plz help me.

HELLO to all 3 of the dcc people who’ve found me on here so far!!! Hello hi it’s so nice to be here!!! I wanted to make an official “”contribution”” to the “everyone write more porn about Carl that isn’t aicarly foot stuff” initiative.

….unfortunately for me I am not brave enough to share my real writing (especially my extremely blatant self insert smut about a man with no shoes on) or any of the fun parts so you are getting this instead. the lord giveth, etc.

Context:

(y/n) gets sex pollen’d and Carl is a Good Friend. These are the chat logs from the ~15 mins after he finishes being such a good friend.

Rating: like PG-13. or whatever. Who the fuck cares

Length: so short

(i know carl and katia are both fucking millennials who have their autocaps on but this is my fuckin show ok)

(please be gentle, I know this is nothing at all compared to some of the masterful would-be prize winning stuff I see on this terrible website but I am physically bursting at the seams and need to put this somewhere. If everyone in the whole world tells me I’m the best writer on the planet then I will consider finding another section of my fuckass15kwordcountnotesappnoteofdccsmut that I wouldn’t hate posting. And that is a threat.)

Carl: coast is clear. Will you do me a favor?”

Katia: jesus h christ carl, did you read her war and peace as foreplay? You’ve been in there almost 3 hours.

Carl: please?

Katia: what? no promises.

Carl: can you invite donut to have a sleepover in your personal space tonight? Make it a fun, girls’ night thing maybe?

Katia: why would I do that?

Carl: because if I suggest it she’s gonna want to know why.

Katia: what if I want to know why?

Carl: Donut usually sleeps on my chest…and that spot is currently occupied. I don’t wanna wake her, she’s exhausted.

Katia: ….

Carl: please.

Katia: I’ll ask, but she’s gonna say no. And I want details later.

Carl: not a chance in hell.

Katia: 🤨

Donut: CARL KATIA INVITED ME TO A GIRLS NIGHT WITH HER AND IMANI AND ELLE TONIGHT AND SHE SAID WE WILL GO TO THE PENIS PARADE AND HAVE VIRGIN DIRTY SHIRLEYS!!!!

Carl: that’s great. Hope you guys have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.

Donut: SHE ALSO SAID THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER AND THAT IT WOULD BE AWKWARD FOR ME TO BE THERE SINCE IT IS ONLY YOUR SECOND DATE.

Carl: goddamnit, it is not our second date. It isn’t a date, period. She’s tired and loopy and I just want to make sure she’s really improving before I leave.

Donut: WHY WOULD SHE NOT BE IMPROVING CARL DID YOU NOT DO A GOOD JOB HAVING SEX WITH HER

Carl: I’m not having this conversation. Enjoy your girls night.

Carl: what the hell, dude??

Katia: I’m a terrible liar, Carl, she would have known something was up. And you’re welcome.

Carl: thanks. enjoy the penis parade.

Katia: thanks, I will. Won’t take me 3 hours either.

Carl: 🖕

[timberedfir2048]

Fake Human, Real Boy AU Masterpost

As far as he knows, Caine’s just another human trapped in The Amazing Digital Circus, albeit one with admin powers and far more bugs than usual. Turns out, he’s an AI - but how much does his story change when the players believe he’s one of them?

Welcome! This AU is being co-created by me and @yewsoup (banner artist!) so posts will be spread between our accounts, but you can find everything for it right here!

Intro post

Plot stuff (coming soon!)

Doodles (Lots!!)

Soup’s tag

My tag

Concept stuff!

The original post

The first art

Psst! This guy has an ArtFight Profile!

[orangeartworks]

pink perks

[birdsandbeetlesandmoths]

working on a flambert fic and i’m discussing Robert’s chronic pain

since i don’t experience it myself, does anyone have any suggestions about descriptors for it and things TO DO and NOT TO DO when writing about chronic pain?

would so v appreciated

[pan-uvu]

Hi! It’s nice to see another toxic royalteeth enthusiast out in the wild I wanted to ask your thoughts and opinions on it? :3

I think the potential is really good, the essence of gilded cage type love, kinger being there the longest and Caine growing attached, Caine having abandonment issues and seeing abstraction as them leaving him but kingers never left him after all these years, the idea that Caine abstracted queenie on purpose to keep kinger for himself, or the headcanon that kingers the creator and it’s that special “I exist because of you, you are my world, you made a place for me and now you’re here and I’ll look after you always” creatorxcreation type dynamic

Also Caine showing obvious favouritism to him in art and fics is great and I wish there was more possessive Caine stuff out there

I’m writing a ‘a npc flirts with kinger and Caine gets insanely jealous” fic to fill in the lack there of

If you wanna talk ideas or anything Im free to if you want :3c ✨?

FINALLY AN EXCUSE TO YAP ABOUT MY LONG AND SUPPER OVER THE BOARD THEORIES MUAJAJAJAJAJAJA JAJAJAJAJAJ

anyways I personally have a lil theory of my own on how things work around the circus, kindaaa its more of a hypothesis since it barely has any concrete evidence supporting my thoughts to be a theory, (this WILL be hella long but i’ll be highlighting the main stuff yeyyeah)

(and yes this hypothesis is more like an excuse to ship toxic yaoi yey)

PART 1 Background context

I imagine that The Amazing Digital Circus was a game created by a company named C&A, the people working on the project would have been the former members of the circus INCLUDING Kinger who is not only the oldest member of the circus but also the person who had been there the longest. Every member of the team would be adding something to the project, Kinger and Queenie would have been working on the most important parts of the game (chess).

I say this because of their avatars that like if they had all kinds of special permissions sense in chess the king and the queen are the most powerfully pieces of the game.

I'm still wondering on what Queenie's work would have been but I imagine her either working as one of the game testers, or maybe she would been working on some of the more complicated 3D models that Caine reuses. (maybeeee, its more of a stretch since I don't have any evidence, but I focused more on Kinger bc gay narrative yeyeyy)

Kinger would have been in charge of developing the main AI for the game (Caine) so he would go often and visit the inside of the game toooo:

1. Check for any BUGS that they AI withing the game might experience

and 2. AI training

PART 2 the machine’s wiring

(I'm about to get a lil computery science silly so if you don’t know any programming just hold my hand, and you’ll be okei I promise (also if you do know computer science I AM DEEPLY SORRY, I DO NOT KNOW AI LIKE U KNOW AI I JUST KNOW A LIL PYTHON AND HTML THAT'S IT, please correct me If I'm wrong, I love learning 🙏🙏))

Cain works a bit wonky for an AI, in a VERY basic way, AI learns with a lil thingy called "Machine Learning" or "ML", it uses data to make better decisions and predictions on the future based on the info its provided, It has various ways of learning but the main one I want to focus on is Reinforcement Learning

Reinforcement learning is an AI teaching technique that lets the AI learn on it's own by trial and error with a teacher directly watching, this teaching method uses a defined reward and a punishment given by the teacher whenever the AI does the right or wrong thing, the AI tries to figure out the solution to a problem by itself in order to get a reward.

whenever the AI makes a mistake it has to be told whether it did good or bad, if it did good then it gets a reward, but if the AI made a bad jou it gets a punishment, for the AI a reward would be a “good job!” or a “do that again” from the teacher to the AI, and as a punishment the AI receives no reward.

PART 3 THE TOXIC YAOI

Now for my geys THIS is where it gets interesting (and where I go crazy, I have been writing this thing for various DAYS AND NOW I CAN FINALLY ENJOY THE GAYS)

SOOO In my mind the story goes a little like this; Kinger is the creator of Caine, and as someone who has programed something from scratch I hella relate that whatever you program will be your whole focus and obsession at some point, going in and out of the code checking WHY YOUR CODE IS NOT WORKING until you find out that you missed a ; Inside of a div tag, my point is that you kinda go crazy programing, so Kinger would log in every day, trying to figure out the Ai’s working kinda going crazy into programing, looking for errors until Caine could finally do the basics tasks without collapsing, then when Caine learned how to follow a conversation, Kinger would start to slow down ant talk to him as a close co-worker/friend, even talking to Caine about his own personal life at some point.

As they trained, there would be some point where Caine gained consciousness (How? idfk Game Theory has chiseled the connection of ghost trapped within the game theory in my brain and idw2) and stared to develop a huge liking towards Kinger, pushing him to work hard to create adventures just to please lil old Kinger and his personal worries, i like to imagine them two going on adventures, something cute like "catch as many butter flies as you can!" where they have to catch butterflies with their nets orrr "Bar night" where Caine Encourages Kinger to ride a mechanical bull.

small note, while investigating how AI works for this theory, finding out that the AI's reward for doing the right thing is a green light and that a punishment was nothing at all felt as if the reward was like a drug AND this HELLA reminded me of PORTAL 2

(I'll stay as spoiler free dw :3)

Within the game, we learn that Glados's body has a built in euphoric response to testing (kinda like the Reward & Punishment reinforcement learning) HOWEVER she also states that "eventually you built a resistance to it, it can get a little... unbearable, unless you have the mental capacity to push pass it".

In the show CAINE has a very big desire to make the adventures as entertaining and enjoyable as possible for the players THIS is his reward... however for the ship >:) Caine feels this euphoria for Kinger every time they interact only, why? easy! Kinger has those special permissions, he's the teacher, HIS one and only teacher, every time Kinger would try and log off Caine would always beg him to stay a little longer, he wanted him close, he loooved the way he felt after completing a tasks just for him and stared to grow obsessed with that feeling, he only wanted the two of them to be together for ever in Cain's digital world, he stared growing obsessed over Kinger.

On days where Kinger had fallen sick and Queenie had to fill in the roll of teaching the AI, Caine would have to interact with Queenie, Caine did not like Queenie mostly bc she would teach him stuff only Kinger would (she could not tell him what to do, she's not Kinger!) and because Queenie had a closer connection to Kinger, they could even interact outside of Caine's world, on the physical realm (Electric dreams reference (not really lol but I like electric dreams <3)), and realizing this Caine stared getting.... jealous.

when the game was finished Caine realized that….that was it! there would be no more meddling around with his own code, no more annoying other people getting into his world, NO MORE QUEENIE… and… no more Kinger..? everybody was leaving, one by one everybody was leaving in order to make the in game copies and sell the game all through the world, as Kinger was giving the final touches however, Caine felt helpless, alone, abandoned, he had to do something...

And so he took the opportunity to take on the people who created him and TRAP them with him, creating adventures for non other porous than to get that delicious and good feeling reward that had been programed within his being.

Caine had to go in and tamper with the game's code, the team’s memories and special permissions so that they wouldn’t be able to escape, after some time of this treatment however this tampering didn't came without its collateral damages, people begun to go crazy, abstracting as they lost their marbles.

Caine hoping that Kinger and Queenie eventually break out into a fight discovered that INSTEAD they grew closer to each other, so he decided to fix the problem himself, eventually at one point Queenie had abstracted ("WHAT WHO DID THAT???") Kinger had no other arms to cry on now, no other arms than that of Caine's.

FINALLY, now that Caine had Kinger all for himself, he decided to go up to his king and confess all of his soft, squ ishy and sweet feelings he had for his creator, and yet, Kinger seemed confused, weirded out, maybe even slightly angry, and Kinger stared LOSING it, crying over how this could have happened to all of his loved ones, blaming himself for his lover's loss, he was very close to abstracting, so Cain decided to tamper with his mind one last time and in lack of a better word, Caine lobotomizes Kingers mind! making him forget in order to protect him, BLINDING HIM with his light, Kinger could now only see what was really happening in the dark.

BOOM, THERE FINALLY OMFFFGAWD THIS TOOK ME FOREVER

I had lots of fun writing this down and had more ideas bubble up as I was writing stuff down muejejej >:3 anyhow follow me if u wanna see more toxic old man yaoi royal teeth (I'm considering on making this whole thing its own blooog)

IF you have any more questions/comment PLEASE BOTHER ME

also i am so sorry for any grammar mistakes ;-; English is NOT my first language waaa

[cervidaewasteland]

Tell Me

A/N: yes yes two things in one day I'm just posting old stuff that's been sitting in my drafts forever

Summary: you and Andrew both get bored at a dinner party, and his teasing nearly drives you insane

Warnings: explicit sexual content, oral sex m/f!receiving, vaginal sex (unsafe 👎👎👎👎), Dom/sub themes, f!Dom, m!sub, praise, clothed sex, grinding, f!reader

Word Count: 1,797

You had never been fond of these things. Neither of you had. Waiting around, nursing a drink, trying your best to make small talk. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. You tapped your fingers against the glass in your hand, letting out a sigh. Andrew, seeming to notice your distaste with the whole ordeal, wrapped an arm around you. His hand settled on your waist, tugging you close enough for him to lean down and whisper in your ear. 

“Not much longer, love. Then we can leave.” He pressed a kiss to the side of your face. “And when we get back to the hotel, I promise I’ll have you forget this whole ordeal. Sound good?” You nodded, humming in response. A soft blush crept its way up your neck, spreading across your cheeks in a sultry display of affection. He smiled, kissing you one last time before straightening up and taking a sip of his drink, hand never leaving your waist. 

He kept you close to him for the rest of the night. It only got increasingly harder to want to stay with the way he was whispering things in your ear, detailing everything he planned on doing to you once you were in the safety of your hotel room. It was frustrating, honestly. Having to listen to it and not be able to do anything about it for at least another hour. Your patience was thinning rapidly, and as Andrew leaned down to whisper at you again, you felt your resolve snap. You pinched him in the side, causing him to shut his mouth to stifle a yelp. 

“It’s time to go.” Your voice came out sharp, quiet enough to only be heard by him. Wordlessly, he nodded, setting his glass on a nearby table before taking yours and doing the same. 

Half an hour later, you found yourself lounging on the bed in your hotel room, a half empty glass of wine on the nightstand and some book you didn’t really care about in your lap. Andrew had insisted on needing a shower—though by the shake in his voice when he said so you could assume he was mostly nervous about what you were planning on doing with him. You heard the bathroom door open, and you looked up from whatever raunchy novel you had been half paying attention to. Andrew stepped out in a pair of sweatpants, hair still damp and messy. He looked up at you, pausing for a moment before walking over to the bed. The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he crawled in beside you, resting his forehead against your shoulder. 

“What?” You smiled, holding back a giggle as you set your book on the nightstand next to your abandoned glass of wine. He let out a noise that sounded dangerously close to a whimper, his hands grabbing at your waist. He shifted slightly, his new position forcing you to become aware of the bulge in his pants that was now pressed against your thigh. His face was still hidden against your chest, cheeks no doubt burning red. 

“Oh, baby,” you cooed, bringing your hands up to tangle in his wet hair, scratching at his scalp. “What is it? What do you need?”

He bucked his hips at your gentle words, another needy whimper escaping his lips. You loved when he got like this—all whiny and pathetic, too shy to tell you what he wanted. He moved again, tangling his legs around yours, chest heaving with every heavy breath. 

“You know,” you leaned over to whisper in his ear, nipping at the skin on his neck. “You were so naughty while we were out. I think you need a reminder of who you belong to.” 

Andrew groaned, his grip tightening on your waist. “Please, love,” he panted. “Please-”

“Please what?”

“I need you-” 

You tugged at his hair, and he moaned softly, a shaky breath leaving his lips. “Fine. Take your pants off.” He nodded as you released your grip on his hair, quickly pulling the sweats down his legs and tossing them onto the floor, leaving him in just his boxers. You nodded, urging him to take his spot back at your side. “Good. Now, I want you to grind against my thigh. And then maybe once you make yourself cum I’ll give you what you want.” 

It wasn’t surprising how quickly he obeyed. He had always been eager to please—desperate for any scrap of praise you would throw to him. He sat up and straddled your thigh, his boxers already damp. He braced himself against the mattress as he began to grind against you, erection straining against the sticky fabric of his boxers. His arousal throbbed insistently against the bare skin of your thigh, soft whimpers and needy moans falling from his mouth. His eyes fell shut after a moment. Clearly he was focused on getting what he wanted, and you weren’t so keen to give it to him so easily. 

As his whines grew louder and his hips began to stutter against you, you placed a hand on his stomach. “Stop.”

His eyes shot open, meeting yours. There was an annoyed expression on his face, but as soon as he saw the stern look on yours, it melted into one of submission. He nodded, stilling his movements, no matter how much it pained him to do so. He leaned over to bury his face against your neck, stubble scratching your skin as he whimpered against you. “Oh, shh. You’re fine,” you said after a moment, hand moving to his hip. You waited a moment, watching as his body relaxed against you before speaking again. “Okay, you can keep going.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled as he resumed his pathetic grinding, boxers so soaked at this point that you could feel the precum leaking onto your skin. His face remained hidden against your shoulder, muffling the whispered curses and whines that left his lips. 

“Such a good boy,” you whispered. Your praise seemed to spur him on, his hips rolling against your thigh with more purpose now, whiny moans echoing through the stuffy hotel room. He clung to your hips, fingers digging into your flesh in an attempt to steady himself. He started to thank you again, but his words quickly dissolved into a litany of gasps and moans, each one louder and more urgent than the last. He started to tense, thrusts growing choppy and less even. 

“Please,” he whispered against you. You hummed, digging your nails into his back, eliciting a sharp gasp from him. 

“How do you ask?” You whispered back. He groaned, still rutting against your thigh. 

“Please let me cum. Please, love.”

“Hm.” You didn’t respond for a moment, taking pleasure in the desperate way he begged for you. Eventually, though, you gave in. “I guess you have behaved since we got back.” You kissed the side of his face. “Cum for me, Andy. Be a good boy.” 

With one last desperate thrust, he came undone. He cried your name as pleasure overtook him, soft sobs and whimpers leaving his mouth as his hips stuttered to a stop. His boxers were completely soaked at this point. They needed to come off. 

You pushed a shaking Andrew onto his back, pulling his boxers down his legs and tossing them onto the floor. Before he could question what you were doing, you nudged his thighs apart and took his already sensitive cock into your mouth. He let out a broken moan, back arching slightly, his body instinctively jerking away. You pull off, looking up at him, a gentle expression on your face. 

“Oh, sensitive, aren’t you? Poor baby.” Your tone was condescending at best. You leaned forward and dragged your tongue along the bottom of his cock, licking the lingering cum off the head. He exhaled sharply, one hand fisting the sheets and the other tangling in your hair. Despite his clearly overstimulated state, he pushed you down harder, urging you to take him into your mouth again. You hummed against him, smiling. “Naughty boy.” 

“Please,” he whined. “I’ve been a good boy. Please, darlin, I need it.” 

You couldn’t deny the way his pleading turned you on. You could feel the growing wetness between your thighs, panties at this point soaked. You nodded wordlessly, taking him into your mouth once more, not stopping until the head of his cock hit the back of your throat. Shamelessly, he started to fuck your face, hips bucking up against you, nearly making you gag with every thrust. You could only take so much of this before you needed a break, saliva running down your chin when you pulled off of him. 

You shimmied out of your panties before laying on your back beside him. You were about to give him more demands, but he already knew what to do, eagerly settling himself between your thighs and pushing into you. Your moan was one of surprise and pure ecstacy, head falling back on the pillows as he set a relentless pace. One of his hands gripped your hip while the other supported his weight on the mattress, pants and grunts leaving his throat as he fucked into you with wild abandon. You could tell he was close already, his breathing heavy, a thin layer of sweat coating his chest. His eyes were shut, brow furrowed in concentration. 

“Come on Andy,” you panted between moans. “Cum for me, baby. Be a good boy and cum for me.”

That was all it took to send him over. He buried himself inside you, a low groan escaping his lips as his orgasm overtook him. For a moment, he was still, catching his breath, waiting for his heaving to return to steady, even breaths. Only then did he pull out, and immediately he was between your thighs, lapping up the mess he’d made. 

“Fuck- Andy!” You threaded your fingers through his hair, keeping him in place as he dragged his tongue along the length of your cunt. Once he was satisfied with his cleaning you up, he focused on your clit instead, soft kitten licks quickly driving you towards orgasm. It didn’t take very long for you to be falling apart beneath him. 

He placed a few reverent kisses to your inner thigh before crawling up the bed to lay beside you. He laid his head against your stomach, eyes falling shut, both of you thoroughly exhausted. 

“You did so good,” you whispered, sleep already threatening to overtake you. “Such a good boy.” He only hummed in response, fingers tracing idle circles on your skin. Not more than ten minutes later, you had both fallen asleep, tangled in a mess of limbs, his arms wrapped tight around you. 

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