The way Sena is telling us that she’s serious about us as she’s serious about gymnastics WHICH could explain why she’s trying to be the perfect lover to us and hiding her true, honest self. The way she is so committed to gymnastics in a way that she must execute her routines and stunts perfectly all the time, practicing and training for hours because although she can manage to get the performance right, if it’s not perfect, it means nothing. If she’s not perfect, she means nothing.
And during our relationship with Sena, she’s constantly hiding things from us, even after we talked about her stalking tendencies. Whenever we’d ask about what she wants to do or where she wants to go for our next date, she always answers with what we like instead of her own ideas. She then goes on to say “what if you see something about me that you don’t like?” thinking we’d look at her differently or worse— leave. Because “They like Sena, the famous gymnast. Not Sena, the boring girl.”
Because that’s what everyone else in her life does. They see her calloused hands, they see her mistakes, her body, they see her, and pinpoint everything that’s “wrong” with her that she needs to “fix”, and now she’s scared that once we (the mc) see something in her that we wouldn’t like, we would leave and she’d feel the need to fix what’s wrong.
She also did say in one of her voice messages that even though she knows we’ll love her no matter what, she wants to stay “perfect and a little mysterious” for us, because she can’t shake the fear of us leaving her once we see all of her (like everybody does) away. She became obsessed with not only us, but also being perfect for us because that’s all she’s ever known. That’s all she knew. Her parents wanting a perfect child, her coaches wanting her to be this perfect athlete, and her teammates always having opinions about her body (that she definitely did not ask for). When she felt real unconditional love from us, she wasn’t ready to lose that. She can’t lose that, so she resulted to her obsession with becoming perfect. Following us around, knowing every detail about us, and keeping secrets. She only wants us to see what she’s presenting, not all of her.
She’s committed to us the same way as gymnastics in a way that she always feels the need to be perfect and make no mistakes. In a way that she absolutely cannot fail or even make a tiny slip because she feels like she’ll lose everything. She’ll lose us. Because she feels like she’ll never amount to anything if she’s anything but flawless.