#medieval lent

[hospodipomiluj]

I think, if anything, I’m going to go the extra mile these next three days. I’m so tired, so exhausted, so hungry, but it’s almost over. 

So, a few additives to my medieval lent. 

Once the sun sets, no electric lights unless absolutely necessary. 

Maundy Thursday & Good Friday nights I’m going to sleep on my floor with the window open. 

I have to finish Pope Benedict’s second Jesus of Nazareth book by Saturday afternoon. 

No idle Tumblr or internet. I can post things, but no reblogs (so what you’ll all see is my queue). 

Only focus on the things of God -- only music that brings Him glory, only read things about Him, only draw things about Him. 

Prayer. Fasting. Penance. 

[hospodipomiluj]

Topic of the day: apparently the conversion of sinners???? 

[hospodipomiluj]

Also, more proof that my “medieval lent” is working out: 

I went to Adoration yesterday, mostly because I was pissed off and just needed to be with Jesus. I get there, go over to the corner and kneel to pray my daily Divine Mercy chaplet. Then I finished. But I wasn’t finished being with Jesus. I literally looked down at my rosary and thought “wait....but...I’m not done yet. Would it be strange to pray a second one?” I really struggled with going back to my day, I just didn’t want to leave! That’s....really not ever happened before. 

Then, after dinner and this common tea, I went to light some candles before my icons and little statues of Our Lady. Then suddenly, I was like “WAIT I WANNA WORK ON LEARNING MARIAN PRAYERS”. So then, I did. 

Then I said St. Alphonsus’ evening prayer. 

Then...when I woke up....I actually prayed the Morning Offering. I’ve never voluntarily done that. 

PARACLEEEEEEETE! 

[hospodipomiluj]

Ok so, you know how the Holy Spirit likes to work in the weirdest ways?

After my last class today, my friend needed to go to the library to ask about work hours. She asked if I wanted to come along and, being that I was literally frozen (an icicle of my former self), I was like “YES. LIBRARY = WARM. Y E S.” 

So I followed her and while she was waiting to talk to the librarian I just decided to browse through the books near her desk. I look over toward one wall and I see a book, bright red cover, sticking out and calling my attention. 

“Spiritual Writers of the Middle Ages”. Welp. WELP. 

So I checked that out. And I even found some great Lent material “Jesus in Gethsemane” welp. I’ve been looking for some good Lenten reading...thanks a lot, PARACLETE. 

[hospodipomiluj]

More signs of a productive Lent! 

I started a conversation with someone that started as angry gossip, but turned into discussing how to help the person in question, how to get them out of the slump that they have now found themselves in. I've never had such charitable, kind hearted, loving gossip before. I like these new fundamental changes. 

It literally went from being REALLY MAD, to being really concerned (for the person we were formerly mad at). Hello Holy Spirit, nice to see you. 

[hospodipomiluj]

Someone just showed me Mary's Way of the Cross. 

I know what I'llll be doooooing on Friday! 

[hospodipomiluj]

An update? Kinda? 

So far, my Lent is going well....if not insanely challenging. Never have I checked the ingredients on packaging so thoroughly, never have I denied free food, or missed a party, or any of that. Now I'm mostly in my room, praying, cooking, cleaning, and etc. I can't go to parties, because I know I won't be able to eat the food there...because I would be too tempted to take it and just say "whatever". 

I'm noticing a profound change in myself, though. I've been a lot sadder lately, which ok, whatever, that's not such a strange occurrence. What is strange about it, though, is that I can't stop smiling. Mind, it's not my usual overly enthusiastic smile, but it's more of a sad smile. But it's a smile. 

I've been angry a lot lately, but I've been dealing with things in a totally different way than I used to. Rather than gossiping or trying to find a way to get back at the person, I'm just sighing (loudly, albeit) and moving on with my life. 

I've noticed, also, that I don't mind suffering as much. I haven't been overly reclusive due to headaches, I haven't complained as much as I would have. 

There's this strange overwhelming inner peace that I'm feeling, even when I am distressed about serious issues in my life. Also, whenever the topic of martyrdom comes up, I start to smile and tear up and become very energetic. For instance, I was talking last night with a group of women about visiting the Holy Land for the Triduum, one of them reminded me "oh, but that would totally be an ISIS target..." and I slammed my hand down on the table.  "So what? To be martyred while following the path Christ took to the Cross would be the most wonderful martyrdom. Why should I use ISIS as an excuse not to go? What a beautiful joyous way to die!! I'm not afraid of ISIS at all, if anything they are a motivation to go. Maybe my martyrdom could convert them!" and saying even more things along those lines. 

So......pretty good Lent so far. 

[hospodipomiluj]

Sorry for the serious lack of posting and updates. I'll write a more serious post with more details this evening, but before then let me share that I spoke with my spiritual director last week and he is supportive of my medieval lent. He even said it was inspiring in a way. Also, I'll start posting some of my recipes. They aren't totally period accurate, but they could have been. They would have had access to all the ingredients, maybe they just didn't think of the combinations. Either way!