#meepie

[shrimpbat]

collect my ocs

[froschshu]

love in tranquility

because i saw it in the j-drama Silent (2022)

review

(contains broad details from the show)

I love the j-drama Silent (2022). The main sets the characters frequently went to felt familiar, not out of place for the world they existed in. The characters were also all extremely patient with one another. And that’s where I saw the importance of time and maturity. Had they been younger, a bit earlier in their twenties rather than later in their twenties, they might have rushed their interpersonal conflicts and endeavors with love. A bit more impulsive, a bit more reckless. Luckily, the characters of Silent were respectful of boundaries and the line between jokes and insults. Them being quite thoughtful and empathetic also helps overcome miscommunication and conflict quickly too.

On another note, the show put me in a reality check of sorts, in terms of how I view love. Looking back, I realize that it was weird of me to expect a kiss scene at the very end because that is simply how everything in the mainstream romance genre seems to build up to. However, this show broke that for me; it made me find fondness and recognize intimacy in the actions of handholding and hugs, which I understand and also reserve for just a few people.

I know there’s the joke about how kissing and skinship in k-dramas and other shows will appear in the 13th hour-long episode of approximately 16-episode-long series, but this show isn’t too dramatic that it makes their moments of intimacy make you explode with giddiness; it’s more like the warm embrace from a blanket. Silent was a slow burn, and I liked that they used the episodes to showcase each character’s development and eventual support of Tsumugi (Haruna Kawaguchi) and Sou’s (Ren Meguro) relationship. Tsumugi and Sou are the power duo for communication, whether it was talking for hours on end in their high school days, or via sign language in their present timeline.

The time that Tsumugi and Sou spend together is as simple as visiting each other at work or eating at a cafe. As a result, their constant hangouts rekindle their friendship which blossoms into love. Their relationship isn’t bursting with fireworks, but it glows like soft embers lighting up your face in gentle quiet. I would like that with my future partner, though I hope I don’t become so painfully aware of my actions I can’t simply get absorbed in my partner’s presence.

I feel as though one of the toughest things for me in relationships, platonic or otherwise, is that I get so caught up in what we look like from an outside perspective. Zooming out, is this us savoring the mundane? Is the nature of our conversation super fulfilling and authentic? This is probably a sign to think less about the “look” of it all. Watching dramas, where we’re viewing in on conversations that are kind of private to have, has made me excessively self-conscious about the “look” of it all in my own life, when I should experience the moment when it happens.

What have I taken away from this all? Live, laugh, love. And pursue the ability to get through to people. ✨Communication✨

[shrimpbat]

umamusume if it was depressing

[froschshu]

The Game Is Afoot (spoilers!)

alice in borderland season 2, existentialism, interconnection

(i don’t know if this helps, but before any spoiler-specific parts i’ll asterisk it and block it :D)

informal

watching alice in borderland season 2 set my mind ablaze, and it didn’t help that i had a milk tea at like 12 am either. my mind was racing and raving over the contents of the show. and so, i feverishly typed into my notes app some interesting topics. fun fact, season 2 was released on my birthday!

season 2 of alice in borderland sets the adventure largely around the protagonists: arisu (kento yamazaki) and usagi (tao tsuchiya) facing new games and challenges, separating from differences in ideals, and coming back together to overcome the pains of their past and present in hopes of a better future. there’s also the story of the larger cast, but you can watch it and enjoy it on your own.

** quick summary of borderland, you play killer games to survive, categorized by the suits of the cards (referenced from hitc) and the higher up the value, the more challenging! **

1. clubs = cooperation, teamwork, trust

2. hearts = psychological, test mental resolve & preexisting trust

3. diamond = intellectual, critical thinking and analysis

4. spade = physical endurance

i loved seeing the themes of love and togetherness throughout the show. it seems cheesy, but since we, the audience, get to see love and togetherness in various forms through various relationships and dynamics, those themes feel more real and raw. in the world of borderland, you don’t just leave a game unscathed; the win can never just be a win for the tragedy of the losers is all too great. and thus, more themes are revealed.

one of the biggest questions in arisu’s journey is what does it mean to be alive? which then trails on to why are we alive? and why specifically did i live when people more deserving, like my friends, died? it’s clear that his mental health was left in shambles, but nonetheless he lives on and continues to build bridges with people, only to see them burned down from another game where life is at stake. arisu’s in a constant state of agony that it all just turns to mush. nothing matters.

this brings me to the film everything everywhere all at once. this feels like what goes on in season 2 of alice in borderland. evelyn (michelle yeoh) engages in the abusrdity of the multiverse with the perception that her life doesn’t amount to much despite her sacrifices in moving to america. arisu engages in the absurdity of the games with a similar perception inflicted by his life prior to borderland. and both characters become susceptible to the point of “nothing matters, what’s the point of living.”

** there's so much stimuli and conflict in the world of borderland. looming in the background is this killer mercenary -- the king of spades -- out to get arisu and his crew, he still has to clear games to elongate his time on his game visa, and he’s flirting it up with usagi? wow. **

and even in the breaks between games, the breaths that serve as relief, there lingers a fear of what’s worse to come. the chaos of borderland never ceases, and eventually nothing matters when there are no rules or morals to follow. negative nihilism takes over and eradicates your sense of purpose and hope in the world. arisu has some of the hardest decisions to make, all while motivating the people around him to want to get out. we see him internally wrestle with the nihilism that everyone around him has. it’s hard when someone you love decides that reality, the “real world”, is too painful to exist in. somehow death games are just a little better than reality.

what helps in the end, is patience, trust, optimism, love, togetherness. similar to everything everywhere all at once, you cross paths with people, and ultimately, it’s the shared moments with one another that make life worthwhile. it’s the sentiment of “i will always choose to spend this time, in this space, out all the universes, being with you.”

another thing to note: is there a definite reality? every character questions this at least once in their time in borderland; whether there’s a “real world” to return to after the games are over. who can they turn to and find comfort in once their proper timelines finally realign? do they go back to their regular lives working regular jobs or struggling through poverty or crime etc?

** the final queen of hearts game threw around so many potential (and kinda darkly humorous) explanations to borderland.

1. it’s a game simulation because we’re so technologically advanced and bored with our lives

2. we’re androids with implanted artificial memories serving as entertainment fodder for the rich who view it all from underground

3. every single experience was actually a coping mechanism for arisu to get through the trauma of his friends’ deaths as he battles the question of the worth of his existence

there’s also the ending, which feels uplifting because we’re watching all of our beloved characters (both new and old) turn a leaf. everything, even their memories of each other, has reset. cut to the final clip of the season -- a set of cards on a table, blown away by the wind, leaves a joker on the table. zoom in, more, just a little more, cut to black. we're back to eerie. so, have we really made it out? is this just another layer of the game? **

this game is like a thickly layered onion. finishing one layer of the game, first number cards then face cards, and yet after that, there’s more we’re not seeing. makes you wonder where you are, whether it’s worth going through all the tribulations for a peace that’s not guaranteed, and who’s behind all of this? what’s their motive? once we’ve reached the “light at the end of the tunnel” can we really say this is who we are as people?

what is life worth? (ooh existential transitional question that came out of nowhere-ish)

** there was a math game, where you guess the value of the average of every player’s guess multiplied by 0.8. you guess incorrectly, you lose a point (or 2) and once you reach -10 you burn in sulfuric acid. the game master was a lawyer who covered up a vaccine that could have saved so many lives had his company not be selfish and appease the rich who’d pay first for the treatment. he lost to chishiya (nijiro murakami) who was a doctor and had to prioritize children with parents in relation to directors and higher-ups in the hospital, leaving the poorer, helpless children behind. they both suffered with the burden of deciding who gets to live. they wonder why do they have to turn their backs on the people who need help the most? **

i think all i can say on the worth of life is that it blows and sucks to say that anyone’s life matters more than another. we can’t and shouldn’t dictate the importance of the lives of others. lowkey i find life inconsequential in the grand scheme of things since we exist and then we go. and yet we can immortalize ourselves (i wrote a paper on this) through our successes, our publications, our names scrawled in ink, the memories we’ve created with others. and yet there’s also so many ways to erase what should be immortal.

life is not simple, and there are too many discriminatory systems like capitalism, racism, colonialism, with a douse of corruption. at the end, in the face of death, we are all the same as we try to answer how we got to this point right before death, but in a snap, we are gone.

as i dwell on the meaning of life through this (from wiki) “Japanese dystopian science fiction thriller drama” via netflix, my reality check sets in. they’re actors, the plot isn’t real, we are not completely engulfed in a simulation of pure torture. if we are, then wow we are so self-aware of our suffering.

reminds me of buddhism, a topic my friend R talks about a lot. life is a cycle of suffering, it’s inescapable as much as i, or the characters of alice in borderland, try to overcome or weasel around it. i am just trying to cope and evade the pain of living.

in reality, whatever i can perceive of it, life is like a rollercoaster of highs and lows with crests that can peak higher than i’ve ever seen and troughts that plummet so far down i don’t even realize there’s a rise to come. and that’s okay. cliche ending i know. thank you for making it this far. i, as you might be, am very impressed with all that i’ve been able to say in the two-ish hours i spent typing this piece up.

i also learned some new vocabulary!

prevaricating: speak/act in an evasive way

repugnant: repulsive OR in contrast to

i love shows and theories, and although i didn’t explore every nook and cranny, although i may have not gone to levels as deep as i wanted to, i still wrote. i made something out of art. i appreciate the themes that foreign shows have to offer in a way american ones don’t. it makes me think more and appreciate art and life while i’m at it.

now here are some fun photos from alice in borderland:

[froschshu]

album review - dpr ian: moodswings in to order

definitely not everything that i have to say, but it’s a start!

splendid follow up to mito, it’s a growth of mito’s character, it’s an expansion of the groovy and moody vibes of the first album

the use of an orchestra(?) in seraph really highlights the new era/growing world of mito, like it calls for a “long ago, there was one. but the course of nature beckoned for two in severance. thus, mito and mr insanity spawned in the wake of the world.” — looking back on this now, i suppose mr insanity had always been there, as the observer(?)

the movie (part 1) was super interesting. the use of different sets kept my attention, and i enjoyed watching the choreography section too! it was gritty and dynamic

dpr ALWAYS kills it with color grading. that’s IT. i loved the warm tones of red and orange, and it clicks with his concept for the albums. based on genius lyrics’ analysis of seraph, first album is black, this ones red, and the third one is gonna be white?? i’m excited.

dpr ian is a spinner. from scaredy cat to this movie, he’s a spinner. and he eats it up every time.

[froschshu]

we as fools tread lightly, brushing the waters with open palms and sparkling fingertips.

your cheek is warm to the touch, i bring it close to mine. we are two noses apart, a blink and a kiss in distance. i’d never tell you that i’d leap to close the gap, but i’d tell you all about my world to keep you close by.

in the depths of silence we slice through it with the music of us. we swim through our improvised melodies and your smiles glisten in the moonlight. i hold my breath and dip my head to look for stars.

one day when the sky meets the sea we’ll meet again.

[froschshu]

i love kpop mood boards so much they’re always so pretty and suits the idols so well they bring me so much joy on my feed

[froschshu]

I once made a poem called “Existential Tread” and I thought it was so clever in the way it sounded similar to Existential Dread. And basically, it proposed taking things and addressing problems slowly rather than wallow in anxiousness. Oh yes, optimism!