Really loved the ambiguity of the theme in this game out of the other similar games. Personally intrigued with the happy ending although despite Angel and Lee's relationship being seemingly dysfunctional, their dynamic goes numerous ways including the worst case scenario, but shows good potential in character development as they found eachother in very similar circumstances in life, up to the "covering up a murder" scene, from there they can start to manage their lives better, getting off of old habits, and growing with eachother.
With that said, my OC (Abigail) is just a character I made for the sake of messing around with Lee and Angel's dynamic a bit more, as my OC is a student psychologist volunteering as an art therapist for a youth service, providing therapy sessions for Angel through art and counselling. Funnily enough, Angel started dragging Lee into their sessions sometimes where, at first Abigail thought it defeated the purpose of the one-on-one sessions especially weaved for Angel, they understood this, but the more Abigail had seen Angel and Lee with eachother, she paid no mind to Lee coming over as long as Angel is absolutely comfortable with their sessions being listened to by Lee. Time passes by, and the sessions drastically changed into couple counselling sessions, and Abigail was def more than welcome to do it as they specialize in human connections and social psychology. :))
It’s better for me to ramble here rather than Twitter so…
I was listening through Mitski songs for no particular reason other than that I wanted to listen to them again and while I was listening to Washing Machine Heart, I realized that I could make it about Dr. Lovley.
Specifically the relationship between them and Sally before and after Grace’s absence. Sally has always been cold and closed off. When I think of her upbringing, she probably never had any true connections to anyone. Anyone who *did* get close enough were cut off when Sally went off to college.
Cary was probably the same; they’re analytical, smart, but not as cold as Sally. Cary pushed people in their way, always wanting to be the best. The only way I could see Cary having any sort of romantic or close friendship was to somehow aid them towards the top, where once they were there, throw their friends off.
Sally is arrogant in a subtle way, silently cutting people off. She believes she’s better than everyone else as well, but due to how hard she’s worked. Cary believes they were born better (sort of like Grace), which is why both of them butted heads so much.
Even though they both weren’t the best lab partners, they respected one another. To them, they were true equals. Sally liked Cary’s cunning, the way they’d do anything to get ahead. Cary admired Sally’s intellectual prowess and dedication to greatness. Both were cautious of being more than just lab partners.. but had this trust in one another they’ve never had with another. It was scary.
Eventually it turned more physical, during breaks they’d jump in supply closets and make out and such. Working in a secret corpo lab was stressful!! Their work time shenanigans would eventually come to an end when Grace and Kane were brought in.
The two were separated to teach and mentor the new hires, which both had good chemistry with. Sally and Grace were opposites in terms of energy and enthusiasm. Grace was haughty but tricksy, smart like a fox. She’d bend the rules to get results faster, which even Cary didn’t do. Sally was frustrated by this but also intrigued…
Kane was an intellectual genius on a completely different level than Sally. He made simulations so real Cary couldn’t tell the difference. He was also much kinder and actually open to their ideas and suggestions. Which was very unlike the stubborn Dr. Beste.
Grace would ignore Sally’s stubbornness, while Kane would embrace Cary’s ideas. The pairs would get along well, but Cary would always yearn to have Sally back… you could say they’ve caught feelings for our favorite scientist.
Sally however was more caught up on Grace. Subtle touches, a hand brushing against another while they washed their hands, Sally strangely protective of Grace when an experiment went a bit wrong or she wanted to self experiment… Cary would see all this… jealousy rose.
Sally and Grace would eventually get a bit more intimate, late nights in the labs turned into kisses on the counter. Sally would always complain about it being a safety hazard but wouldn’t let Grace pull away.
Even after Grace ‘disappeared’, Sally would yearn for her touch again… and put on an act to try and get that same feeling of love and affection from… Cary. It was easy to pretend Cary was Grace if she took off her glasses and all she saw was a blonde blur.
Of course it was never the same, Cary was just as desperate, perhaps even more since being away from Sally for so long. Eventually Sally was moved to Facility-0, Cary to Facility-04. Cary would send letters. Salty wouldn’t respond.
So anyway it’s like a one sided love thing between Sally and Cary which eventually turns into hate when Grace and Sally are contained and still pulled together while Cary is ignored.
All of this is to say: Washing Machine Heart is Cary coded from their POV, directed towards Sally.
not the sudden rage in me as i abruptly recall the insanely rude gossiping the 4th grade girls did right in front of me, ABOUT me, at lunchtime for frequently giving my unwanted french fries to a boy they were all crushing on
god the kids i went to school with kind of sucked. i just didn't have any better experiences in life to tell me otherwise
you ever suddenly snap out of a multi-day episode and look at your account and the stuff you said and think "that was me? i did all that?" and you can literally just identify the coping at a glance, the things you tried and people you suddenly reached out to on a whim
and it's almost like someone else was in your body for that span of time, but YOU did it, and you know you did it, and you thought you were being totally normal and lucid and didn't recognize you were having an episode until it finally ended
god, it sucks, and now i have these new dms open and i don't know these people and what was i DOING,
it's so upsetting to me that we're so focused on being composed and polished as a society that it's considered inappropriate to express negative emotions like grief, anguish, or rage unless you are in a closed, private setting.
nobody wants to see or deal with another human being's negative emotion. i say this having fully fallen prey to this notion myself. i dislike it when people vent on main or bring their depression into a "normal" interaction.
"keep it to yourself." "tell a trusted friend." "seek therapy."
it's someone else's problem, so keep it out of sight, out of mind. don't show it in public, don't reveal your inner demons to me.
but what about the people who do not have a trusted friend? who do not have a therapist? what about the people who are brimming, boiling over with suppressed grief and are forced to smile and wave as normal every day? when the pain leaks out, when there's a chink in the mask, it is normal to scold these people and tell them to be more rational, more proper, and stuff it even deeper down inside?
how do we expect to make new friends, become vulnerable, and form deep relationships if you're constantly playing a guessing game of "is it socially acceptable to share this now?"
the fact that we tell people "tell that to your friends instead" and shun the unwell from our spaces, then talk about loneliness and friendlessness and parasocialism - is this not a self-feeding loop? are we not isolating everyone from one another by shutting down negativity when it rears its ugly head in our sight? have we not caused this problem with our own two hands?
TLDR: I talk about the song ‘Lost’ in relation to my ocs (with a sort-of fic at the end)
So there’s this song that I kinda imagine is a good representation of the entire Sally and Grace story up to now with each part being related (forced it to) to each major story beat.
The start and first repeated part is them meeting in the Facility and working together, then having an argument, containment breach, Grace getting taken by the experiment, Sally letting it happen.
Then, it’s Sally getting relocated to the South Pole to do research on Object-720. Grace is alive, no one knows, she’s pissed, goes to the South Pole, the repeated verse happens again, but it’s Grace essentially taunting her before throwing her into the icy waters and ‘killing’ Sally.
Next part is Sally getting revived for the first time by the Beast (object-720) then walking back to the outpost and telling the Facility what happened. Then it’s a deal between them, using herself as bait to capture Grace, in return they ‘fix’ Grace.
The savior is only a myth, I only buy what I see.
Every promise is heard (Sally promising the Facility), and every lie kills (Cary telling Grace that Sally lied to her to get her captured)
If I could animate it, it would then be Grace turning and cutting out Sally’s eye in an epic transition, and then Sally would claw up Grace’s arm.
The next part is them figuring out their escape, Sally only doing it because she wants to make it up to Grace, Grace wanting both of them to run away together blah blah.
When the “Now I am lost’s” start is when they’re outside of the Facility, so so close to freedom… but Sally’s stupid loyalty to the Facility causes her to hesitate. A bit too long. Agent Killjoy shows up and tells them both to get back or she’ll take them by force.
.
.
(Sort of fic-y below)
Now I am lost, I stop to believe, Now I am lost, I forget to breathe
Sally hesitates when Killjoy confronts them, her undying loyalty to the Facility apparent in this moment. She stuck between wanting to be free with the only person who understands her, or to stay with the only group who’s ever given her a chance.
Now I am lost, I am anything but brave
But then, Grace takes a chance. She can fly after all. She grabs Sally, flying them both into the air. Very very high up. Sally is frozen as she tries not to look down, shes been terrified of heights ever since their ‘encounter’ in the South Pole. Her claws dig deep into Grace’s arms, holding on for dear life.
Now I am lost, I erase all traces of faith
The agent’s eyes narrow, a flicker of rage accompanied by a flash of electricity spark in her eyes… her body, her hair fizzing up. Killjoy warned them… she loses her cool. She takes out her gun, aiming at the duo, and with a jolt of electricity she shoots. The sound of thunder booms in the air as the bullet finds its target.
Now I am lost, I sink into a deep sleep
Killjoy aims for one of Grace’s wings, shooting through the ‘feathers’ and sending an extremely painful shock of otherworldly electricity through Grace. Her body goes lax, as if she’s lost control of herself, her arms loosen, Sally is begging her to hold onto her. Grace is powerless as she sees Sally plummet, from too high of a height to survive. She slams into the concrete headfirst, cracking it open on the right side of her head. Unmoving… her hand clutched around her necklace and by extension, the gem.
Now I am lost, I lie unconscious and I weep
Grace comes fluttering down with her messed up wing. She gasps as she sees the unmoving body of Sally, quickly moving to hold her in her arms. She keeps trying to get her to wake up, shaking her, yelling at her. But she stays quiet, limp and unmoving.
Agent Killjoy sighs as she makes her way over, her usual scowl returned as she lets Grace have a moment… but just a moment.
Now I am lost, I have renounced what you have shown me
Sally wakes up… or at least she thinks she does. She sees her dead body, blood trickling down her head as Grace is holding her. She can’t hear anything except a ringing in her ears, and a low rumbling. She tries to reach out but she can’t feel anything, she’s in some sort of.. limbo.
Agent Killjoy is there with Grace, gun pointed and barking commands. From what Sally can make out, Grace is refusing to go with Killjoy. Then she hears someone… something speak.
Now I am lost, I can see I’m not alone
A giant, monstrous figure comes into view, the voice is the one that would whisper into her ears, the figure the one she’d see in the corner of her eyes, in her dreams.
Its eyes glowing and eerie orangish red, tusks long and sharp, mouth twisted into a smile. Those large cold claws grab her, its whispers grow louder. The freezing cold feeling of its scales seep into her being… it continues to speak, each word a rumbling, deep, growl as it fills her mind with hate.
She did it again. That demon had slayed you once more. This Facility you adore didn’t save you this time.
Sally couldn’t deny its words, the bubbling hate grew to a boil in her blood. She’s done all she could to win the love of both Grace and the Facility… but in the end she’s a red stain on the ground. Again.
The Beast’s eyes glow brighter, its grin larger, as if feeling that hate.
Don’t you wish to claim retribution? To show those who defy you that you are the one who should be feared? I can help you achieve your vengeance.
Just let me in.
The dam breaks. Sally turns to The Beast. A determined nod shows her acceptance, to allowing The Beast to take over… in a sense.
With a low cackle, The Beast guides Sally to her dead body, Grace has now been taken away by Facility Talons, still fighting and yelling something Sally can’t understand. The Beast raises its claw, guiding Sally’s hand to her body.
—
Grace was yelling and screaming, kicking and throwing a tantrum as Killjoy looked down on the lifeless body of Sally Beste. A disappointed sigh leaves her lips as she crouches down to pick her up… but then a twitch.
Sally’s body started moving, the hand gripping her necklace jutted upward, snapping the necklace apart, the gem glowing in her hand.
She slams the gem down into her chest, Killjoy jumps back, reaching for her gun. Everyone was shocked as they watched the once dead Sally convulse, twitch and writhe.
Her eyes shot open as she rolled onto her stomach, she was panting heavily, the gem now lodged in her chest pulsed fast and quick. She felt blood rushing through her body, but it wasn’t her own. The burning frozen sensation coursed through her body, bones snapped, skin tore, ice accumulated on her body as she was morphed.
Grace and the others watched as steam and mist covered the woman. They heard gargles of pain, low growling as the mist showed the silhouette of the once human-ish scientist becoming larger, even more monstrous. Her jaws growing into a terrifying maw, tusks, horns, scales made of ice.
Then the ground shook as the newly formed beast burst from the mist, towering over the entire Facility. Killjoy’s surprise didn’t last long as she started barking out orders over the radio, the monster now looking straight down at them.
Grace had seen that look before. Sally’s reptilian-like eyes pierced through her soul. It was the same look Sally gave before she shut her into her tomb (so to speak).
I can’t see you- now I am lost.
The beast roared, slamming her claws down into the ground below, causing the Talon to fall to the floor. Grace looked up to see the monster charging right towards her, growls and snorts as Sally yelled,
“GRACE.”
Her voice was distorted, garbled and twisted, but those eyes showed intent, hate and rage as she got closer and closer.
I can’t hear you- now I am lost.
Grace tried to yell, a weak attempt to try and snap the rampaging beast out of it, but it was no use as Sally lunged into the air.
Giant frozen claws pin the woman down, the weight of Sally crushing, and freezing. Grace squirmed and gasped under her grasp, feeble attempts to get her off, pounding at her claws.
I can’t feel you- now I am lost.
The pressure increased, those eyes bore into Grace’s. This was different from all their other confrontations. Sally wanted to kill her, to rip her to shreds, to erase her completely.
Fear overtook Grace for the first time after the accident took place. She was going to die. Sally had gone completely feral.. and it was her fault.
I can’t love you- now I am lost.
Sally let out another roar of hate, rising her other claw, readying her killing blow. Her tail flicked in anticipation, to finally destroy her biggest mistake.
Grace closed her eyes, tears pricking at her eyes as she looked away, trembling as her end approached.
As Sally brought down her claw, she felt a burning sensation shock her entire body. Her hair stood on end as her grip loosened and she collapsed into the ground with a loud boom.
Grace gasped as she was freed, only to be back into the hands of Facility Talons, ripping her away and quickly back into the Facility.
The last thing Grace saw before the doors were shut was Agent Killjoy standing in front of Sally, her arm and hand crackling with electricity. Sally was unresponsive again.
Grace heard the hum of helicopters approaching, guards barking and rushing past her as she was taken away.
She should feel relieved she’s alive, but she can’t get the fear out of her mind, the hate in Sally eyes.
What… what happened to her?
.
.
-(End of fic-y thing)
Okay that’s it I didn’t really know how to end it but hopefully someone will read it.
Sometimes I look over my old stuff and I see my 3 unfinished “Sally Observations” which are all about her gem and like… yeah I should finish those!! Mostly because I think it’s lowkey way more important than her tail behavior which I’ve made like 2 times 😭😭😭
I’ll put one of them under the cut (lies I put 2)
In actuality I think my favorite one of these EVER was the one I made during a lecture that I was half listening to and not (9am 2 hour lecture about politics zzz but it’s a super great class btw I’d take it again). Ya know what who gaf I’ll post that one too.
Probably impossible to read but this is what I did for a whole class (PE stands for political ecology), and I have a much more understandable and streamlined version of this but… still my favorite. This is the first time I think I thought of the 3 stages of Sally’s beastification, the L N H phases. I’ll maybe post the cleaned up version but it’s fun to share the sketchy stuff too.
To conclude my yapping, I will say that most of these are supposed to be written from the POV of either Grace or Dr Lovley (depending on what she’s wearing usually). Enjoy figuring out what the hell im talking about 😁
