NOT YOU DOING STEVE'S PSA BACK AT HIM HAHA
steve pushing it too far in fights and finding that the moment of pressure and almost-asphyxiation feels so good and he doesn't know where else to get that feeling from until someone introduces it to him in the bedroom .. wait this is kind of the plot of isozyme's the least difficult of men
related to my tags on Cassie's post, "#fuck yeahhh #but also steve i swear to fuck i will do the awkward dad sit-backwards-on-a-chair so you got detention talk to you if you don't quit #LEARN for the love of Fuck about BDSM like a GROWN UP and stop making your enemies (and bucky) choke you instead #steve rogers"
also, if you like pain slut Steve there's (and I know this is a stucky blog, but if you're enough of a slut for pain slut Steve, you will likely still be down for this stony pairing), "The Least Difficult of Men" by isozyme
I HAVE TO
Lmao, what else could I do? Clearly, the man needs an intervention. Either, someone has to sit him down or we gotta stick him in front of a flat-screen TV and play him copious amounts of porn that involves choking to show him there is literally no difference (especially in nonethical porn that doesn't ever include acknowledgment of consent but that's a different story we're not talking about right now, lol)
Personally, since that post, I can't fucking quit thinking about a universe in which Steve and Bucky have been pining for each other since before the war but never actually bucked up the courage to do anything besides homoerotically wrestle and stare so hungrily and longingly at each other that it made everyone around them on the front uncomfortable, so sex is unknown and awkward and painful for Steve. He doesn't know what to do about it. The person he most wanted to do it with, to him, died. What the fuck does he do with that?
Well...
He gets fixated on things.
He transfers all that sensitivity and shivering and wanting to pain. Surely, the high, hazy sensation he gets after being choked is as close as he'll get to the feeling of orgasm at the hands of another person. Right? Someone else touching him... that drifting yet heavy headspace... how he tingles afterward... yeah? Yeah.
That's sex.
Sex hurts.
He likes it when it hurts.
And I'd like to think Steve puts it together a tiny bit himself, like, after he's choked the first time by the Winter Soldier (before he realizes it's Bucky), and he wakes up the next day with a perfect hand imprint around his throat. Steve presses on it in the mirror and his vision goes white, his dick suddenly way too fucking hard and--and, and he's thought about being fucked before, he's thought about being sucked before, he's thought about fucking before. Now, he's just suddenly thinking about the choking and the fucking happening at the same time and he's hard dizzyingly fast but he's cumming faster. It's mortifying.
He can't think about it after.
He, just, totally consciously blocks it out. Because. What the fuck is wrong with him? He knows he's not normal but all that catholic guilt and internalized homophobia are tangled up so deep inside him tell him that he's tripped and fallen over a line that's too far. He's beyond fucked up.
...Right?
Bucky has to set an intervention with him, later, when he realizes that Steve stares at his metal arm all the fucking time, blushing down to the base of his pretty, pale throat and swallowing thickly. Steve doesn't even know he's doing it. If he did, he wouldn't do it. He's been trying so, so hard (ha) to show Bucky that there's nothing wrong with his prosthetic. It's not terrible, it's not great, it just is. Make peace with it. Yet--
"Got something you wanna share with the class, Rogers?" Bucky finds himself drawling one day, smiling crookedly as he watches Steve start to squirm. His Brooklyn accent is coming back, day by day, and, apparently, that has its advantages.
