#16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.
This is going to be a weird response as there have been plenty of fun and chill and yay good times parties but I'm going to interpret BEST as more personally transforming. For background, at this point in my life, I had started hormones without telling my parents, I didn't pass, I hated college and was on the verge of dropping out, I had fallen deeply in love with a woman who for many reasons couldn't give me what I was looking for and on top of that the general stress of college and transition. I was a fucking mess. My friend KC and I decided to basically fuck ourselves up by taking as many drugs as we could. We are/were both types prone to self-destruction and depression and at the time we were working together on a major project for our dorm so we were stressed as all hell and under the idea that doing healthy and sane things for yourself is for pussies or whatever. #selfcare
So we starting ingesting substances matching each other one by one until I had a hit of salvia and launched into outer fucking space. Like the extent to which I had to reorganize reality piece by piece I can't really describe to you but let's just say I had to be re-acclimated to the ideas that time existed and that bodies were finite and that mortality was a thing. The process was very trying and difficult (realizing I was trans again really hurt) but KC took care of me like a champ and I finally broke the spell of being in love with this woman and realized what I needed to be focusing on in myself. We stayed up until the morning talking about our bullshit revelations and then decided to drive to Rhode Island w/ some friends for diner food for some fucking reason. We got back to Boston around noon completely wiped and delirious. That night solidified KC as a friend for lyfe. I started that party in bafflement and pain consciously wanting to hurt myself and ended that night feeling better that I had some hope and direction. It was a powerful night.
There's another anecdote about the one time I took ecstasy on a snap decision with a friend because I felt that with her it would be a great time and it was, I'll tell that one later.
