my dogs helped me re-learn loving myself
i often think to myself, did i really know love before having my dogs? i didn't really have to go through any major loss or had to deal with anything i didn't want to. everything that i've loved, were things that were easy to love. i loved my parents because they loved and doted on me, i loved my friends cus they were fun to be with. but is that really love?
it's very different from loving myself. because i know every single part of myself, and there is no overlooking or escaping from my bad parts. it became hard for me to love myself, because it wasn't easy, and i had to face my bad parts.
getting dogs helped me re-learn loving myself because i had to train them, i clean up after them, they get annoying, and (sometimes) they are destructive... and yet i still love them. they get sick, and they have bad days, and they will leave us, much sooner than we would hope... but that never stopped me from loving my dogs.
and that's when i realized how love is different from like. like is easy, like is light and fun, but loving is to love even the bad parts, wanting to heal and sooth the bad parts. there is no question of whether you've "earned" that love or if you're "worthy of" that love, i think love comes naturally.
seeing myself love my dogs sooo much, my heart aching for them, wanting the best for them, kinda makes me think, why don't i love myself like that? why can't i love myself like that?