Snarry
Rating: T
Hurt/No Comfort
Harry never liked to bother him while he was brewing. Rather, he shouldn’t bother him. The sharply focused, don’t-need-any-distractions Potions Master had made it abundantly clear. Granted, the man wanted to be left alone every hour of every day, but we can’t always get what we want.
The smell was intoxicating—warm molten chocolate, with a hint of fresh peppermint. Harry couldn’t help but be curious. What potion was this? Was it Amortentia? Harry loved a steaming cup of peppermint cocoa, but he wasn’t sure it got him off.
He peeked into the Potions classroom, admiring the entranced long-haired male as he stirred the potion in slow, continuous strokes.
“Potter,” said the man, not lifting his gaze from the cauldron.
Harry jumped back, pressing his back against the wall. Shit.
Harry took a deep breath, opened the door fully, and entered the classroom. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bother you.”
‘You’ve always been a terrible liar,” drawled Severus.
Harry threw caution to the wind and walked over to the man. “I was bored. You’ve been at it for hours. Has to be nearly done, isn’t it?” He leaned over the cauldron, his shoulder brushing against Severus.“What is it?”
Severus sighed, taking a small step sideways—away from Harry. “Hot chocolate.”
“What? Really? I didn’t know you were the domestic type, Sev.”
Severus stiffened. “As I have told you before, you shall address me as Professor or sir.”
“Alright, sir. Can I have some?”
Severus stole a side glance at Harry, who gave him a smug grin. “It’s laced with a strong sleeping potion. I don’t think you’d enjoy collapsing to the floor in the middle of my classroom.”
Harry scrunched up his face in confusion. “Why?”
The Potions Master sighed, finally abandoning his stirring. “Madam Pomfrey wanted a more...pleasant way to administer it to patients. She thought it would be. Festive.” Severus grimaced.
“What? You a Scrooge or something?”
“You know. Scrooge. Hate’s Christmas. Haunted by spirits. Eventually likes Christmas.” Harry’s face brightened. “I know! I need to be your Christmas spirit!”
“I think I’ll pass. Now, I’m quite busy if you don’t mind.”
“You’re always busy. You don’t take time for me anymore,” Harry pouted.
Severus clenched his fists, turning toward the boy. “Potter, you are delusional. I have never made time for you. You make time for me. Time I do not have.”
Harry stepped toward Severus, clutching the front of his robes. “How can you be so cruel? Can’t you see? I can’t stay away. I’ve tried. I fucking love you, and you won’t let me.”
Severus’ cheeks pinked, shifting uncomfortably under Harry’s intense stare. “Impossible.”
“Why? Is it so hard for you to grasp that someone could actually love you?”
“This isn’t love. It is an obsession.” He grasped Harry’s wrist, releasing the hand from his robes.
“Can I kiss you?” asked Harry, his eyes locked on Severus’ thin pale lips.
Harry leaned forward slightly. “Are you sure?”
“If this is your sick idea of a joke, Potter, I’ll ask you once more. Leave. Me. The fuck. Alone.”
Harry’s face fell. “It isn’t. Maybe at first, but...the longer I watched you. You’re so fucking beautiful, Sev.”
Severus did not correct him. Harry’s flushed look of embarrassment betrayed his true feelings. He lifted a reluctant hand to Harry’s cheek. “Are you sure?” he echoed.
“Yes,” Harry breathed. He leaned forward, closing his eyes. Something hot and wet touched Harry’s lips, but it wasn’t Severus’.
“I’m sorry,” said Severus, as he poured a small cup of hot chocolate into Harry’s mouth.
Instantly, the boy slackened, and Severus caught him. Gazing down at the sleeping boy, he admired the softness of his cheeks, the delicate curve of his dark lashes, his pump pink lips. “Why must you be so beautiful? I’m sorry, Harry.”
He had never called him by his given name before. It was too intimate. If he started now, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. “Darling, Harry.” He brushed a lock of raven hair from the boy’s brow.
“But you will never be mine.” Severus leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the lightning-shaped scar. “Live your life. Find happiness. Find...love.”
Severus pulled out his wand. He replaced desire with disgust—love for loathing. Tears poured down Severus’ cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered. “Now, and for always.”