Jun 1, 2017
I went to bed at like one and I was still awake at four and I feel like shit thanks body??? thanks brain??? you both suck, fuck off
seen from Netherlands
seen from Egypt
seen from Czechia
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Italy
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Netherlands
I went to bed at like one and I was still awake at four and I feel like shit thanks body??? thanks brain??? you both suck, fuck off
so anyway I'm stressed and in pain and my first exam is in four days and I'm not ready at all and also did I mention I'm in pain and I can't fucking sleep because my anxiety is doing that Uncontrollable Terror of Mortality thing it does whenever I'm not coping with life and now all I can think about every time I try to sleep is the fact I am going to die and everyone I care about is going to die and death is terrifying and what is the point of life because we're all fucking dying!!!!!! so that's not helping fucking ANYTHING right now and the subsequent fatigue is making me unproductive and being unproductive is stressing me to hell and back and I know I won't fail the exams but I'd quite like to do better than "not fail" and anyway there's nothing worse than staring at an exam paper and not knowing how to answer the questions and I just !!!! need to be not in pain right now so I could have a hope of dealing with these things !!!! how are you guys doing?
i'm hungry but I don't want to eat and i can't go to bed until I eat and it's late AHHHHH
well i got about five hours of sleep i'm still super nauseous my mouth is really dry and I've been clenching my teeth so my neck aches but I feel kinda wired
idontwanttogobackidontwanttogobackidontwanttogobackidontwanttogobackdontmakemegobackdontmakemepleasedontmakemegoback
i !! feel !! really !! depressed !! and !! shitty !!
me: *sees pictures of friends having fun at uni and gets jealous of them* sensible me: bro you didn't have fun at uni when you were there, and social media's only ever going to show you the fun parts of other people's lives anxiety me: you don't even have any friends. look at them, it's not like they missed you. if you go back you'll be just as lonely as you were before. depression me: there's no point going back so you should probably just give up now
i think i'm gonna take my poetry collection to my next therapy appt and give it to the counsellor to read because it would explain a lot of, like, my backstory? and then i wouldn't have to give the history of all my issues all the time