#mental ehalth

[grouchydairy]

What I learned is that therapists lack cultural competency regardless of platform and this lack of training is part of a bigger problem.

#talkspace

[asking-jude]

Instead of asking, 'What do I want from life?' a more powerful question is, 'What does life want from me?'

Eckhart Tolle 

♡ Need support?

[asking-jude]

Just remember, the ones who hurt you will one day seek you, and you will be a different person. You will forgive them. You will move on. And you will accept the way things hurt, but you will never let it define you for what you are.

R.M. Drake 

♡ Need support?

[ramyeonpng]

What I learned is that therapists lack cultural competency regardless of platform and this lack of training is part of a bigger problem.

#talkspace

[ramyeongif]

What I learned is that therapists lack cultural competency regardless of platform and this lack of training is part of a bigger problem.

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/why-i-ended-my-talkspace-online-therapy-subscription-3b9c890688d5 / #talkspace

[eggwhiteswithspinach]

What I learned is that therapists lack cultural competency regardless of platform and this lack of training is part of a bigger problem.

https://medium.com/the-brain-is-a-noodle/why-i-ended-my-talkspace-online-therapy-subscription-3b9c890688d5 / #talkspace

[asking-jude]

hi, so I’ve noticed something recently. I need to have a lot of people that I can text randomly to have a conversation, and I do have a bunch of people I can text. I also feel like I have a bunch of close friends. I try to be a good friend, and give good advice. Honestly sometimes it feels like I give more than, I ask for. which is why I end up turning to stuff like anons on the internet. But I’m afraid I’ve somehow tricked people into thinking I’m their closest friend when they’re not mine

Hey there,

 I think social interactions are important, and it’s great that you feel so comfortable interacting with people you come across. However, I think that you also need to be comfortable being by yourself and doing things on your own. It’s taken me a long time to realize that I don’t need to have so many friends and constantly know what’s happening in every person’s life. I believed that having friends was important throughout high school, so I continued to stay relevant and special to these people. I made sure that I always had something interesting to say to each friend I walked past in the hallway, over text, etc. After graduating from high school, I decided that I’d only keep in contact with those I value my friendship with. I was exhausted constantly talking to people and never giving myself time to be alone and by myself. Since graduation, I’ve been giving myself a chance to step away from my phone, off social media, and do things that give me peace like reading a book and gardening.

 If having a close connection and receiving good advice is what you are looking for, you probably won’t receive it from every single person you text--including the anonymous people you talk to online. Some of them may not know how to respond to your messages, unaware of your needs, too busy with their lives, etc. If you need someone to listen to your thoughts and feelings, you are always welcome to send them here to Asking Jude or speak to a therapist or counselor. 

Whenever you speak to these anonymous people online, be sure to establish boundaries. You can absolutely give them your advice freely but do not reveal too much or any information about yourself and your personal life. Remember that the Internet is a powerful tool that can be used in several ways. Nowadays, you can type in someone’s name, and their LinkedIn profile, Instagram, and Facebook can pop up, and you can locate which city a stranger lives in, what school they attend, etc. Revealing too much about yourself or talking to these anonymous people consistently may certainly mislead them into thinking you’re their closest friend. Be wise with what you share. Remember that you are not obligated to continue these discussions with the anonymous people if you feel uncomfortable, in danger, or simply want to discontinue it. I hope this helps! Here are some articles that you can read: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comparatively-speaking/201905/why-you-dont-need-friends 

https://www.bolde.com/worry-not-having-enough-friends-realized-important-thing/ 

https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/feeling-let-down.htm 

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1461444816654465?journalCode=nmsa 

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170529-the-reasons-you-can-never-be-anonymous-again 

Best, 

Jennie

Asking Jude will continue to offer free peer counselling services on askingjude.org—a faster, more efficient alternative to Tumblr. Please, create your account and receive 24/7 support from the Asking Jude Team and fellow community members. Support our breathtaking transformation!

[asking-jude]

NSFW??? How do you deal with sexual frustration and being touch starved when you can't have sex and you're not that close with any of your friends? Like, I'm a teenager, so I feel like I shouldn't have sex until I'm older and I have nowhere to have sex because my family's always around. And all my friends are fairly new, I just met most of them a few months ago, because I moved schools. So, I'm not that comfortable with them touching me, even if it's something platonic, like a hug.

It might help to not conflate the two so much. You seem like you’re trying to separate them already, which is good. I say try your best to have some patience because that will help you reach solutions. Let’s address these one at a time.

First, if you feel touch-starved altogether, it would help to give yourself and your new friends time to get to know each other more. Foster emotional intimacy first and the physical will follow more organically. In other words, spend time with your friends on your downtime in school and outside of it if possible. Talk about interests, hobbies, favorite or hated subjects, etc. then see if your friends start reaching out to you about more personal things. If not, see if you can dip your toes in, so to speak; ask for an opinion on something sort of personal and go from there. Also, see what fun activities you can do with your friends, whether that’s playing video games, playing sports, doing extra-curricular activities in school, etc. That will also help you see more sides of your friends. The more you get to know them, the easier it’ll be to introduce comfortable, platonic touch.

Second, if you feel sexually frustrated, is it solely that or do you suspect that it’s also because you are touch-starved? That can also be a contributing factor. Nonetheless, I still have some advice here. Do you have ANY privacy in your house? If you do, you can make use of it by taking care of your needs on your own (masturbation). Yes, I’m encouraging it because it’ll actually help you. However, be VERY careful about what you do/use because I don’t want you falling down any rabbit holes here. For now, I say stick to your imagination and don’t use porn because you’re underage. Have fun and be safe!

Good luck,

Angelica Barile

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