#mental garbage

[peikonlainen]

It wasn’t that bad after all. Dudes supporting each other’s while dealing with their own mental garbage. One day at the time guys…

[chal-converts-archive]

You ever have those great moments where you really feel like yourself and you really *see* yourself and it’s awesome? And then you think to yourself, “wow - I bet this is how cis NT people feel all the time!”

[daddycephalopod]

Anybody else tired of going through it/getting through it or is that just me?

[daddycephalopod]

You know. I think I’m comfortably sinking into the abyss but not in a “I wanna 💀 way.” More in a “this is gonna end up being really fucking funny sometime or some day” way.

[lukeshemroske]

“After coming to a point that I felt unsettled, anxious, cloudy, heavy and horrible: I decided to draw.

I decided to draw whatever came to my mind fast and emotionally while thinking as I got a grasp of my consciousness.

As I began to review input and output feedback, I could enter a flow that stabbed some holes in a big heavy mental carcass and I was able to bleed it like a bloated rain cloud.

The images and stuff started pouring out. They came out roughly at first and as I kept penetrating through and thinking and analyzing and not thinking and free associating and mechanically and mindlessly drawing. My mind opened up and cleared itself out as my body did the necessary functions to achieve that clarity.

Four drawings. A spew of mental garbage that continues to clarify onto one single image of a hammerhead shark swimming in the water.

I tried to get the waterlines accurate by envisioning where the fins would displace the water to and what that would looks like.

I tried to understand how the shark swam and eventually googled it and read a bit about it and watched some video clips.

I have a better understanding of how they propel themselves through water almost like sidewinder snakes.

I drew the initial shark from memory which came out pretty good. And once I saw the video I realized a few shifts I needed to make.

I found out that hammerheads will tilt to their side and swim that way because it theoretically saves the shark energy. Ten percent less energy is used says a study from 2016.

As the hammerhead moves its hammerhead (which is famous for its two outward extending cephalofoils on either side of its head) back and fourth, it gains a 360 view of its surroundings.

The hammerheads have stereo vision like humans which means one eye is placed in a different part of the body than the other eye. But the eyes are both able to focus on the same thing at the same time which gives them incredible depth perception.

Imagine if our eyes were set more far apart, it seems like we’d be able to pick up on the depth of things and understand where they’re at in relation to us, better than we can now.

This fact PLUS their eyes can view above and below them. Add in how they swivel their heads from left to right as they swim and you’ll see how they can achieve a 360 degree view around them.

It’s a startlingly clear image brewed up from my freshly cleaned, filed and ordered subconscious.

So I shook things up and a hammerhead shark appeared to me. Hmm I wonder what that means?

Something about working smart not hard and getting a good perspective on the world around me?”

Aug. 10th, 2020 Luke Gerard Shemroske.

[chal-converts-archive]

Too many emotions and almost none of them are legitimate.

[jaysonology]

[situationally--ironic-blog]

death

everyone seems to be afraid of death, whether it be to a small or monumental degree. It is almost strange to think that such an inevitability, the one event in all of human history that has ceased to be avoidable, is many peoples’ greatest fear. as an atheist, I have shared this sentiment for quite a while, and not even I can give a unique answer as to why death is such a terrifying phenomenon. true, I do fear the day my father will eventually leave me, and I fear that he will leave before I will be able to give him a proper sendoff, and true, the immense fragility of life, and the concept that at any instant myself or a loved one will simply cease to be, mortifies me, but i still cannot put a reason as to why.there just seems to be something so inexplicably horrible about the end to a life. because it’s not always about wasted potential- it’s sometimes about sweet release, sometimes about leaving peacefully into the dark, with no loose ends left to tie. maybe our fear for death protects us, drives us forward, gives us meaning. you do what needs to be done, you have fun and treat yourself right and act like there’s no tomorrow because, in reality, there might not be a tomorrow. not for you, not for me. but if death were gone, would we not still find purpose? is it only here to torment us?