#beating depression

[legateamelia]

Me when I get out of bed, dress myself, and eat breakfast.

[poetic-beats]

Words You Need To Hear, My Love.

When you're shrouded and the darkness hits. When your mind gets clouded and nothing seems to fit; Like a puzzle missing pieces. You fall, but not to weakness. Stronger than anyone I know. Stronger than you realise. I know you've got it inside. Soon, soon my love you will realise. You're a burning star you'll make it far. I know it seems hopeless inevitable, too far out of reach. Trust me, I know these games; Cheap tricks, dirty shots. But you gotta grab it with all your might- give that good fight. When you're feeling hopeless, worthless, beat down in darkness. I'm here, (yeah, yeah) I'm here. I'll be right by your side. We'll make it out alive. I the moon to your star. You bring the fire I bring the light. With this, we'll beat the night. We'll give it a good fight. I'm here, (yeah, yeah) I'm here. You're my burning star. Together we'll make it far.

[hybrid-flower]

It's all going to be okay, keep this going and try to put a smile on someone's face. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is smile at someone. We never know what life might be taking those around us through, and sometimes, a smile can save a life

Just A Someone Who Cares

[massacre-girlypop]

This little punk, Kellin, thinks she can get whatever she wants cuz she has baby blue eyes and is as cute as a button. She’s right, of course, but don’t tell her that.

Shut up, I know I don’t have a life or friends. But this little Trans-rights-supporting floof made me smile genuinely for the first time in months. I’ll take my victories.

[iamanartichoke]

I decided to get out of my apartment for a little while today, so I went for a short bike ride. This shouldn’t be such a huge accomplishment, but it kind of is. I debated about whether or not I wanted to go for at least 20 minutes beforehand, and then had to physically force myself out the door. Then I discovered that my bike, due to months of neglect, needed air in the tires, so I had to walk it to the 7-11 on the corner in order to use the air pump. But I did it, rode a little over two miles, and then came back home and collapsed, because I severely underestimated the Florida sun in June and overestimated my ability to handle it. I think I may have heatstroke now. But I got a pretty picture, so, kudos to me. 

[losslass]

Self Care Action Plan

so i am long over due for a little me time that doesn’t involve the flu so i am sitting down right now to figure out a timeline for what i want to do for me tomorrow... 

11am - get up shower set phone aside

11:30 - bagel and eggs a little oj while reading in the kitchen in peace if my roommate isn’t around

12:30 - dishes laundry cleaning and my favorite playlist 

2pm - half a grilled cheese some tomato soup and tea and whitchcraft videos at the kitchen table 

2:30 - groceries so i actually have food this week

3:30 - a short nap because i can and i have been sleeping all day lately which isn’t healthy

4pm - time outside if its nice if not then yoga in my room 

5pm - veggie pasta or butter chickpeas i haven’t decided which yet and a glass of wine all to myself at the kitchen table and i will kick my roommate out if she comes in this is me time

6pm - redying my hair and cleaning while it sets 

7pm - rinsing the dye out then face mask and a bath with my book

8pm - painting nails watching tarentino movies

10pm - bed 

it feels ambitious to me but i really want to have a plan and stay motivated i need to break this depression. i need more structure in my life and working part time i don’t get much of that.wish me luck!

[mycptsdstory]

Since I’ve been in therapy, I haven’t had depression in a year. Before it was so bad I wanted to commit suicide because legit, no one cared about me. Before they say, yes I was showing signs and they didn’t fucking care.

“What’s the point in me being here, when no one cared. I might as well be dead. No one would turn up at my funeral, they would either bitch about me or not caring. If I go missing in the woods and hang myself, no one would notice that I’m gone. Nature will eat me and I’m okay with that”

Everyday for 23 years I felt like that. Now me left the family, not dealing with toxic people in my life 24/7, I feel great. No more bad sadness spells. I feel okay.

It’s weird to admit that.

[poetic-beats]

Alive

I am me, I am here loud and proud even if its just me and myself.

No clue what I'm doing right now, but soon i will know, soon.

I know that i'm alive to live and survive. I know I am alive so I can thrive.

I know that I'm alive. I know who I am now, I will take the deep end dive. Just to feel something live. So I know I am me, here, Alive.