An Odyssey of the Mental Realm
Santiago Caruso, Poème Maudit
Too many sleepless nights
Too many howls at the moonlight
Here I witness my dark shadow at sight
Growing at every encounter bigger
Devouring wrath and might,
Wish I could pull the trigger
To end it all, perhaps set things right
But all those I once loved,
their anguish and despair
Shall never quench my anger,
So rather than blowing it up with lead
I chose to swallow my tears instead
Seeking a new chance of redemption
My suffering brought me a sudden realization
Growing heartless and cold,
In a world capable of lies and deception
In deeds, in action, in affection
For my capacity of loving,
surpasses my physicality,
to an unreachable personal reality.
Bernardino Mei, Ghismonda with the heart of Guiscardo (1650).
A reality of agony and loneliness
childhood memories of old,
Ones I once chose to ignore
Now all my demons came haunting me
Every score must be settled
Every debt must be repaid
The walls are now painted red
but only one who truly bled
with pride of a steep slope
Pursuing a vision of hope;
Was the remaining scrap of my shield,
the force by which I strike and wield,
no matter what, never will I ever yield.
In memory of when I longed for love and connection
Longed for so long, my tears have dried in red,
Red were the drops that I drank, the one I bled,
Yet in solitude I found a light, a cure, a consoling bed
A resting sanctuary of mind, spirit and heart,
Empty no longer, I can sense glory ahead,
I choose mighty will and fierce power instead!
Fiery might! an inner toughness forged like lead
I shall rise alive, from the ashes, from the dead,
Far away from this pit of decay
Cut off its rusty chains!
I shall hike up the steepest cliffs of life and her pain!
To conquer this void, to begin my new reign!
Even if I had to crawl back
Knees broken and mudded through the tracks
Woe be to all that stands in my way
For my soul is unbroken, nor shall it ever crack
Resiliently I shall make my way through the storm
For my eyes picture a distant home,
One that one day will rise firm and tall,
From the ruins & the ashes like the eternal Rome!
To write down my destiny with sweat, tears & blood
An odyssey to strive for, a gamble to rise
A timeline paved above the swallowing mud
Yet strength will always be rewarded
At the doorstep of Hell, hidden lies a prize
and the courageously untroubled
Gifted shall be thy wings,
Elevated shall be the warrior to the highest skies.
A scenic view overlooking the end of a hellish tunnel
Back to earth, wholly reborn and alive are my senses,
Now I can march amidst this holy pyre that cleanses
Silently embracing its burning breeze, all at ease
Completely purified within me feels every wound,
Now I see it, my reward was always a warrior within
My undying phoenix, the blaze of my hidden djinn,
Bewildering fury of a tornado that spins
When the world falls apart, yet thicker gets my skin
Resiliently within I find a way striving to win
The eternal flame, to which I’m delightfully attuned,
The core of my soul is built of an unbroken breed
Gracefully traveling my mental realm at a lively speed
My rage is of Ares, my fire is of Hades!
My morning star is of the North, enlightening breeze
Praise be the Lord that destroys and creates,
The Source that torments and the Spring that heals,
The eternal struggle, what a delightful battle,
Light and its Darkness, Yin and its Yang
In servitude of the Creator and of its Creation,
Aspiring towards supreme inspiration,
The Almighty has granted me a blazing blade
At last, Lord of the Heavens has come to my aid.
A burning passion in fulfillment of the mission,
The pit is no more, divine connection is the vision,
To reach the peak of that mountain throne
Of that distant dream of Babylon
To climb that tower, not in defiance,
Rather in appreciation, in good faith and in alliance
Of intangible spirituality and tangible science
Of the Dionysian heart & the Apollonian mind
At the doorstep of Babel, the gate of the Divine,
The crowning chance for mankind,
At its entrance, however, lies my final challenger
A Serpent from the primordial waters,
The antithesis of my phoenix, the Basilisk within
Roams Chaos, disarray’s crawling under my skin
Since the beginning of times, ever an adversary
Sublime blessings upon whoever fearlessly confronts
the Devourer of Worlds, a path essentially solitary
An ultimate battle, a clash of order and disorder,
The longly awaited clash of opposites, what a tale.
Coming full circle, the Leviathan bites its tail,
Cycle of immortality, the undying can only be tamed
Dancing to its rhythm, mimicking its trail,
Mounting the Ouroboros, illusions that start to fade
Fear no more, enlightening peace beyond this veil
Reaching for the unreachable, what a magnum opus
A Singularity at last, yet I feel heartless and ferocious
A point of no return, set to be irrevocably catalyzed,
A dream and its awakening, beautifully synchronized
My inner muse & her witnessing, fully rhapsodized!
Join me in this vision, and with me visualize,
All we’ve ever wanted, striving for survival no more
Thriving in existing, beyond this Holy door,
Promised is the day when the gates will open,
But for now, I must journey through Hell on my own
To rightfully set the world, my world, not in vain,
But as it should be, where visions are no more torn,
One day, under the bright light of the moon,
Or by the middle sea on a soothing afternoon
Someplace, sometime, together we could all rejoice,
Upon Babel’s Tower highest gate,
we may finally cherish our joys.
Now I initiate my journey, immersed in ice and fire
The calling of Aries, to fight for the rise of an empire
Engulfed in his flames, enlightening golden dawn
My heart is awakened, reflecting the rise of Aragorn
Unifying sun & moon, a divinely empowering eclipse,
Now begins my odyssean voyage towards the abyss.